Have you ever felt like a tightrope walker teetering on the edge of disaster? Or perhaps you feel like you’ve already lost contact with the rope and are free-falling just hoping there is a safety net below. As parents of children with special needs, you are not alone. We are all searching for that balance and if we’ve found it, we are trying to hold onto it. If we’ve fallen, we are trying to climb up again.

In my last blog, I talked about the positives of being open with a child about his/her diagnosis. But just like "the birds and the bees," learning about bipolar disorder or depression is not about one big conversation. It involves many small conversations over years. It’s also about creating openness so that your child can feel free to come to you with questions.

If you score 100 percent on a test, you get an A+. If you have 100% attendance, you receive an award. If a company has 100 percent on their safety record, management may reward employees. So, today I guess I get an A+. The speech therapist told my youngest, “Congratulations, you tried out for the team and made it!” I thought that was a clever and positive way to also say that my youngest is now on an IEP for speech as his older brother before him. Next, add in the additional two being on IEPs for bipolar disorder and learning disabilities.

Tracy Anglada, mental health writer, advocate, and mother, shares her top tips in this second entry in the The Balanced Mind Foundation back to school series for parents raising kids with depression and bipolar disorder.

Do you ever imagine what life will be like for your child in 5, 10 or even 15 years from now? Sometimes it’s hard to shift focus off of today or even tomorrow. At the same time, worries creep in about the future. That’s why I’m always eager to gain insight from the people who’ve been there.

You know your child. You even know that you know your child. Why? Because- you have years of experience in caring for this little life. No matter how sure you are in this knowledge, however, there may be times when someone makes you doubt what you know to be true. Maybe it’s a medical professional, a family member, a teacher or even a close friend. Why does this doubt creep in? Sometimes it’s because we trust the person who is questioning what we know. There is nothing wrong with considering alternate opinions and, in fact, sometimes our knowledge grows.

What kills more people than war, more people than homicides, and more people than accidents – in fact, more people than all three of these combined? Suicide! Conversation about suicide is not only good, it’s vital. It brings the topic into public awareness and has the potential to reach out to those who may be experiencing suicidal thoughts.

Every wall in my house used to be painted white. Over the years, I began faux painting various walls and rooms. I started playing with different colors and techniques. Each time that I undertake a new painting project, an interesting phenomenon happens. About a third of the way into the project, I look back at my work and think, ‘Oh, no! What have I done?’ The very first time this happened to me, I nearly repainted the wall and gave up. But instead, I just kept going. When I was done and stepped away from my work, I was amazed. It looked completely different.

While our children are young we sometimes think of this illness as our challenge but as they age, it truly is their illness. Help them manage it to the best of their ability. 

The funny thing about kids is they don’t stay young forever. They do grow up! From the moment my son was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I had a sense of urgency. My thought process was something along the lines of: “I only have ten more years to teach him how to manage this on his own.” What’s ten years really? Now that my son is 18, we are proof that it flies by.

Kids with bipolar disorder may not be ready to manage all aspects of their illness just because the calendar says they are an adult, but the goal is to help them understand and manage it the best they can as they reach these critical transition years. While this will be different according to the abilities and progress of each child, starting early gives a distinct advantage. Here are some of the things we found beneficial:

That’s right, MANIPULATION. Nobody likes to feel manipulated or to be called a manipulator. Kids with bipolar disorder are frequently accused of manipulation by teachers, family and friends. But is there more behind it? For insight into this topic, please enjoy an excerpt from my book, Intense Minds: