After an hour reviewing the recent issues with breakthrough psychosis, the extreme anxiety around the requisite blood draws to check white blood cell count, and the real issue of this being the least stable time of year, I heard Tim’s new psychiatrist say the words that I knew were the right decision, but vex me nonetheless: "let’s leave him on the Clozaril, add 100 mg at midday, and postpone any big medication changes until his impending move to an 18 and over facility in May."

Do you ever tune out the world around you? This is a skill that helps me get through busy, crowded, stimulating days; one that I often take for granted. When it comes to my son Tim, however, it's a different story...

Photo by Roman Skrada

My son has been in residential treatment for two years this month. I can’t believe he’s been living away from home for that long. It seems like it was just a few months ago we were sitting at the kitchen table, making the decision on the residential programs we wanted to look at as options. It’s been difficult having him away from home so much, but we are lucky that the program isn’t too far away (although with gas prices they way they are right now, it seems farther), and we talk on the phone several times a week.

I get questioned occasionally as to why I’m a member of the The Balanced Mind Foundation when my child does not have Bipolar Disorder.  Tim has – and it’s a long diagnosis – Schizoaffective Disorder, Bipolar Type.  His condition shares many symptoms of Bipolar Disorder, specifically periods of mania and depression.  But what frightens people about schizophrenic disorders – the constant that is the hallmark of schizophrenic disorders – does sometimes occur

Someone praised me recently for being so understanding and patient with Tim and all of the symptoms and behavioral issues that go along with a diagnosis like Schizoaffective Disorder.

When I was a kid, summer was the time of year I most looked forward to.  Does it get any better?  No school, lots of daylight, warm weather, and little structure.  I ran around like a banshee as a young child, hung out with my friends at the beach or the mall as a tweener, and worked at the drive-in, flirted with boys, and stayed out past midnight as an older teen.  Many phone conversations started with, “I’ve got nothing to do today…wanna hang out?”  It was bliss.