I can’t predict, so I plan.

Having a child with a severe mood disorder forces me to look at the future through a different lens than my friends with neurotypical kids. I hope my daughter will be able to complete college, live independently, and hold a job, but I don’t know if that will be possible. Creating a safety net helps me to feel much more secure, especially since my daughter has passed that scary milestone, her 18^th birthday.

It’s time to get ready for school, but your child burrows deeper under the covers, claiming illness or crying pitifully.

If the behavior is persistent and your pediatrician has ruled out medical causes, the problem could be school refusal. This behavior is wrenching for parents and children, and should be taken very seriously.

When your child’s doctor proposes a new medicine, past disappointments and future hopes collide.

There are questions, of course: What are the potential benefits? Are they worth the possible side effects? How will this medicine interact with other medications? Will insurance cover the cost?

Each trial is a balance between how awful things are right now and the healthier life that you pray your child can enjoy. The doubts that haunt you are the wreckage of past trials and the fear that things could get even worse.

Most people look forward to summer.  I have mixed feelings. I love the warmth, my garden and the beach, but the symptoms that accompany the season have been a high price to pay.

Transitions, unstructured time, boredom and long, sun-lit days always spelled trouble at my house. This is a bad combination for a kid with bipolar disorder and ADHD.  The last few weeks of summer were especially stressful, as my daughter’s agitation and anxiety grew.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by your youngster with bipolar disorder, it’s a good bet that the other children in the household are too.

Siblings suffer when a brother or sister has bipolar disorder, but they often hide their struggles or try to be perfect to lessen the burden on parents. Their problems may be missed because parents are doing their best to contain chaos, keep everyone safe and maintain a semblance of ordinary life, including school, work and regular meals.

At a recent parent forum at my suburban high school, a drug counselor estimated that half of the students use drugs and alcohol at least occasionally, and half of those become frequent or daily, users. The next speaker was a young woman who spoke eloquently about beginning drug and alcohol use at 14, buying everything from marijuana to heroin in and around the high school, and leaving school at 18 with no diploma and no prospects. Miraculously, 3 years later, she is sober and picking up the pieces of her life.

Our children are different.

They know it, and so do the other kids. Our children may act impulsively, miss social cues, not get the joke, or become the brunt of the joke. They may hurt feelings with unedited observations, or overreact when frustrated. They may be unable to still the legs that ricochet under their desks at school, or stop themselves from interrupting the teacher to blurt out an idea that just popped into their heads.

When my daughter was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder, her doctor assured us that once we found the right medicine she would be “fine.”

 To me, that meant leveling out the rages and despair, no more aggression and constant conflict, and maybe even acceptance by her peers. I thought she would be normal—perhaps for the first time in her 15 years.

I really want to see the BBC television series, “Life on Mars,” if only to get my galactic bearings.

 For years, my husband and I used to joke that we lived on Mars. It was our way of acknowledging that our life wasn’t exactly sit-com fare, and there certainly was no laugh-track. Some days, life in our house was more a combination sci-fi and police drama, just like the British series.

Not all mental health professionals are equally skilled, caring or accessible.
I learned the hard way.

First, there was the warm and fuzzy psychologist told my daughter that she wasn’t responsible for her actions because she has bipolar disorder. A judge won’t be so understanding, I responded. Me neither!

Then there was the psychiatrist who didn’t answer our desperate pages for more than 12 hours, and who left on a 7-week vacation without providing a back-up doctor.