I have experienced all of these symptoms after almost losing my daughter to the devastating effects of bipolar disorder during the initial years of diagnosis, medication trials and compliance. My husband and her dad pointed out to me just the other day that he thought we both had a case of “mild post-traumatic stress.” I have a good friend whose husband has severe PTSD. I do not suggest that the symptoms that we have experienced even compare to the disabling symptoms he experiences. But I do think that parents and caretakers should be aware and tend to the aftershocks of their child’s illness.

I know these statistics well. I know that educators have a unique opportunity to recognize and support students struggling with depression yet often are either unaware or simply aren’t sure of the severity or need for intervention and therefore do nothing. Parents may well be in the same camp. Is it “teenage angst”? Growing pains? Typical of a child who may be in the middle of a family crisis? A young person having problems with friends, feeling left out or deserted?

The joyful holiday season is fast approaching and yet there are people who cry out, “Bah, humbug!” as they struggle with the obstacles and challenges many families face. I knew this season had its pitfalls from my earliest years. When I was a child, my mother would work hard to provide our family with the best possible Christmas season possible. Beautifully prepared meals, lots of baking, homemade and thoughtful gifts, entertaining, and many memories…including hospitalizations or a flare-up of my mother’s symptoms once the holidays were over.

One day my daughter said to me, “Mom, you do such a good job of taking care of me that I am not really sure if I can ever take care of myself.” This one statement turned a light bulb on somewhere in my sometimes frantic and scrambled brain.

I spent part of last week at the National Alliance on Mental Illness Conference in Chicago. It was a phenomenal three days where I learned a great deal, met some amazing people, and enjoyed playing tourist in my hometown.  On the opening day after the keynote speech, I was having dinner with several BringChange2Mind folks including Jessie Close and her son, Calen Pick.  Jessie and Calen had given moving and thought-provoking speeches earlier in the day and we were lounging at a local pizza joint, recapping their talk, and discussing our families and the convention. I don’t remember exactly why, but the talk turned to meds and side effects and I mentioned that Tim was on 600 mg of Clozaril a day.  Jessie’s eyes about popped out of her head. She said her son – diagnosed at 15 and now a man of nearly 30 - had never been on a dose above 375.

I am writing this blog after a week of intense travel. I have attended and presented at two conferences followed by providing training to the one of the largest school districts in the nation. Three cities, three states: Charlotte, NC, Houston, TX and New York City, NY. The first concerned the transition of students with disabilities from high school to post high school settings, the second was the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance, and the third was New York City Department of Education (NYC-DOE).

We have all had many “transitions” in our lives. If one has lived long enough we likely have experienced many life transitions including new jobs, ends of jobs, marriages, break-ups, children, moves to new cities, and many other changes that nudge our lives in other directions, both planned and unplanned. Think for a minute about the feelings you had during these times. What a plethora of emotions: excitement, fear, hesitancy, confidence, vulnerability, anticipation!

Bipolar disorder takes a family on a roller coaster of brain-driven moods right along with their child. In addition to the depression, the anxiety and mania, there are other symptoms that raise their fearsome heads and go after our children.

Parents of children under the age of 18 are responsible to manage the many aspects of this illness and to help their adolescent move into adulthood with the skills to do this on their own or to have a support team in place for times when this is not possible.

Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience.
It isn't more complicated than that.
It is opening to or receiving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is,
without either clinging to it or rejecting it.
-Sylvia Boorstein

If one lives long enough, it becomes clear that there are no guarantees in life. There are moments, days and weeks when the lack of control feels overwhelming.

Remember, during a crisis act like a thermostat, not like a thermometer. This is one of the many things I try to share with my graduate students during the class I teach on emotional, behavioral and mental health conditions. Many of the graduate students are also parents and have told me that the suggestion of acting like a thermostat rather than a thermometer is also helpful to them in their homes. This analogy means staying level when your child’s emotions are running wild.