The First IEP Meeting
FIRST IEP MEETING
I was very nervous about my first meeting with the school. I was afraid they didn’t understand and that I would forget what to say. Bringing an advocate to the meeting really helped. She took notes and asked questions for me. –Sonia, mother of Melissa, age 11
The first meeting with the school to discuss your child’s diagnosis and needs can be stressful and difficult. It can also be comforting and refreshing. It is usually recommended that you have someone accompany you, a person who can provide emotional support and who can take notes for you while you focus on participating in the discussion. However, you will need to inform staff ahead of time if someone who is not a parent or legal guardian plans to attend, as your privacy is guaranteed by law. All staff, parents, and advocates attendance will need to be documented as part of the IDEA regulations.
The following five elements will increase the likelihood of a successful meeting:
1. Be on time! The greatest area of discomfort for parents and school personnel is timeliness. Many times teachers are meeting during their lunch, planning period, or before or after school. Their time is usually limited by the classroom schedule. When a parent arrives late, school personnel can feel frustrated about the difficulty of trying to compress important information into a reduced time period, be distracted by other work that is not being completed or resentful if they miss planning time or lunch periods waiting for a meeting to begin.
Similarly, when teachers get up and leave in the middle of a meeting because they need to return to the classroom, parents can often feel frustrated, rushed, unheard, or believe that the teacher “doesn’t care”. Remember that the teacher’s time is not her own. When your child’s class returns from gym period, for example, the teacher is responsible to be there to ensure the needs and safety of the class, and other staff schedules are impacted when teachers are not timely.
If you are going to be late, you should call at least 15 minutes before the scheduled meeting to inform the school. If you are going to be more than 15 minutes late, ask if it is best to reschedule the meeting to ensure adequate time to complete all the meeting objectives. Remember too that time is always a commodity in the schools. In the event your meeting needs to be rescheduled, it is to ensure you and the school staff will have time to devote enough attention to your child and to answer your questions.
2. Dress for Success. Your appearance affects others’ perceptions of you. It’s important to present a professional image when going to your child’s school. Schools are often fairly casual because teachers need to be working with children in various ways. However, attending a school meeting in “gardening clothes” or “gym attire” can give the impression that you don’t care, are uniformed, or don’t respect the education process.
3. Distribute essential information about pediatric bipolar disorder to the team. Documents that we suggest you share with the school include:
About Pediatric Bipolar Disorder
Educating the Child with Pediatric Bipolar Disorder
A brochure entitled, “Parents and Teachers as Allies: A Guide to Recognizing Early Onset Mental Illness in Children and Adolescents for Parents and Educators” – Available in the NAMI bookstore http://www.nami.org
4. Develop a clear vision of what you hope to accomplish at the meeting. Come prepared with a written “vision statement” for your child’s future. A paragraph or two will set the tone and communicate your depth of concern. Clearly identifying your child’s strengths and weaknesses in writing helps the team understand you goals and demonstrates that you are a thoughtful, concerned, and realistic parent. Putting in writing your hopes and dreams for your child allows the team to see your child’s educational needs in the larger context of the sum of life experiences.
5. Carry a copy of your state’s policies and procedures for special education with you. Not only will you have a handy reference with you, but also the other members of the team will observe that you are knowledgeable about the special education process. This document can be accessed online at your state’s Department of Education web site.
Parents who arrive at the meeting with these essential elements in place have a greater chance of finding a receptive school team and developing a positive relationship with the team.
Bonus Suggestion: Bring Food! Often teachers and school personnel skip their lunch or come in early before breakfast in order to meet with you about your child’s IEP. Food helps create a friendly atmosphere and teachers are appreciative of your efforts.
Summary: Building a Bridge to a Collaborative Relationship. Some parents may have already met with the school numerous times prior to receiving the child’s diagnosis of bipolar disorder and are experiencing difficulties with school personnel. It may be helpful to enlist an educational advocate to assist you. An advocate can assist in refocusing the child study team and beginning the request for services process again. An advocate can assist the team in understanding the disorder as well as providing the opportunity for the parent and school to build a bridge to a collaborative working relationship. It is important that the focus of any meeting with the school be on the needs of the child and not on placing blame on any particular person or program.
DISCLAIMER
The Balanced Mind Foundation recommends that parents try to work collaboratively with their child’s school to address the child’s educational needs. However, there are times when parents and schools cannot agree concerning the programs and services a child needs. There may be many reasons why a parent’s advocacy efforts may not result in an appropriate education for the child. In those instances, The Balanced Mind Foundation strongly urges you to contact an attorney who is experienced in handling special education matters. The Balanced Mind Foundation does not recommend that a parent attempt to handle adversarial proceedings (such as due process hearings) without an attorney. This program is not intended to offer legal advice or detailed instruction in the law. The Balanced Mind Foundation does not offer legal advice and this program will not teach you how to act as your own attorney.