When I found The Balanced Mind Foundation last February, my 6 year old had just been diagnosed. We had gone through 6 years of as bad as it gets. She was homicidal, suicidal, hypersexual, psychotic. She raged non-stop. She was seizing. I had broken bones, a broken spirit, and a broken heart.

She had just been returned to me by the state, who took her because they believed I or someone else in my family had done this to her. Now, with her back, the nightmare of losing her was gone, but the nightmare of having her home was just beginning.

The guilt I felt for not knowing she was ill for all those years, for chastising her for things she had no control over, and for resenting the way she had turned all our lives upside down, was overwhelming.

I had spent 6 years being told I actually WAS to blame for her bizarre behavior. My family, my in-laws, the schools, the state, the courts and judges, even her Guardian Ad Liter told me I was at fault. I had spent what I thought were the longest, loneliest years of my life trying to find out what was wrong with my child, asking myself if I was to blame, if I was such a horrible parent. But the loneliness, the trials, the wars were just beginning. I had [a diagnosis], yes, but that was all. Now it was time for treatment, to scream to the world at the top of my lungs that my child was ill, that I AM a good mother, that I AM appropriate, that I AM a fighter, that I WILL NOT rest until the world acknowledges her illness, my fight to help her, and most importantly, until I get her well.

The Balanced Mind Foundation came into my life right at this junction, this most important time in our lives. The women on this message board astounded me with their love, their compassion, their strength, their courage, their knowledge, their fortitude, and their optimism. I learned within just a few days that I was not alone, that my daughter was not the only child suffering, that so many other women's lives were just as tumultuous as my own. I found friendships. I found a haven. I found strength. I gained knowledge. I gained power. I gained the courage to forge ahead in my crusade for my child. I shared my sorrow, I cried for others on the boards, as they cried for me. I learned that humor was my best weapon against the ever-present depression, I laughed until my sides hurt, I laughed so I wouldn't cry.

I also had the opportunity to share my story, my knowledge, my strength, and my courage with others. In helping others, I was helping myself. I felt confidence, I felt pride, I felt needed. Fighting for the life of a child who fights against you everyday wreaks havoc on one's sense of worth. Fighting the schools, the state, the neighbors, the police, the family, fighting this disorder with no light at the end of the tunnel is exhausting to the psyche. The Balanced Mind Foundation and the wonderful women on the boards rejuvenated me, gave me the confidence to keep fighting, and I am forever in their debt.

Today, almost a year and a half later, my now 7 year old is stable. She is in a special school for the mentally ill, and she is beautiful, and smart, and my best friend. The end of the tunnel is quite bright right now. I see a future for my child that I never saw before. I see a future for my family that I never saw before. The storm has lifted and the clouds are thinning.

Thank you The Balanced Mind Foundation and all the miraculous women (and men) that are members of this essential, life-altering organization. Each and every one of you can take a deep bow, for you were all major contributors to my daughter's stability, to my sanity, and that of many, many other families. You will never be forgotten, and will always be in my prayers.