1.  The Face of Bullying Has Changed–There was a time when bullying was relegated to pushing and shoving the schoolyard.  But now bullying follows people into their homes.  With Facebook, bullies use the Internet as a platform to tease peers.  Just because your child doesn’t have any bruises, doesn’t mean everything’s fine.  If you’re a parent, it’s important to look out for warning signs like teens acting withdrawn, not answering questions like How was your day?  Sometimes evasiveness is a symptom of bullying.  Is your teen shying away from hobbies and going out with friends?  For us young people, it’s important to notice these warning signs in our siblings or cousins.

2.   Anyone Can Be Bullied–Kira was and is still bullied for having bipolar disorder.  On the Monday (10/03/11) episode of Anderson, Cooper united the Rodeymers with a family whose 14-yo old son also completed suicide.  Why was he bullied?  Because he was “small.”  Gay.  Short.  Bipolar.  Glasses.  Anything can make somebody a target.  We have to recognize the basic humanity in each of us.  As Kira said, bullying even happens to adults–it can happen when adults are mean at work.   

3.   Anyone Can Be a Hero–The good news is that each of us can be part of the solution.  Heroes don’t need to wear capes with letters emblazoned on their chests.  Sometimes heroes are ordinary people who do the right thing when it isn’t easy or comfortable.  At its most basic level, doing the right thing is not making the situation worse.  It is possible to leave someone alone.  You don’t have to contribute to gossip.  If someone is the target of slander or physical harm, you can notify teachers and school officials.  You can also befriend outcasts and new students.  Growing up, I always befriended the new kid on the block.

4.   Bullying Can Be Overcome–Kira had been bullied for having bipolar since she was 8 years old.  At age 12, Kira attempted suicide when the bullying became too much.  After her subsequent hospitalization, she developed tools for managing bipolar–everything from taking prescribed medications to cutting out negative people from her life.  (Note: Just because someone is on your “Friend” list on Facebook does not make him/her a true friend!) Inspired by Taylor Swift’s music, especially Speak Now and Mean (an anthem for anyone bullied), Kira became a success!  She wrote a song that garnered a record contract for a woman who requested Kira’s help.  Kira even got accepted into a prestigious fine arts school!  If you listen to the podcast, you know her accomplishments don’t end there.  What was not in the podcast, however, was when Kira said, “I’m not bipolar–I have bipolar.  My illness does not define me.”   

 5.  It’s Never Too Late to Change–Okay, now it’s time for me to share something I’m not proud of.  I confess this because I cannot be part of the solution until I admit that I was ever part of the problem.  While I have never pushed or shoved anyone, there was a season in my life when I was a bystander.  In the sixth grade, there was this boy the other guys kicked around—let’s call him “Tommy.”  He was a nice kid.  But they teased him about his mother’s weight and his glasses.  When we got to junior high, he went to a different school than the bullies.  I saw him when I was in eighth grade at an event.  I told him he must be relieved to be away from those jerks. Then he said, “But you laughed too.”  I was stunned.  I didn’t say anything.  I was ashamed.  From that day forward, I decided that if I ever saw anyone being bullied, I would stand up for that person.  And I kept that promise.  My sophomore year in high school, I was an English tutor in the computer lab.  There was this boy “Timothy” who was called “mentally retarded” (that was the language of the time).  Timothy was scrawny and short.  This mob of three boys came in almost daily and teased him.   One short guy, one average guy, and one very tall guy.  Now, I am a short girl.  Always have been petite; always will be.

One day, the three boys took away Timothy’s backpack.  Distressed Timothy kept pleading, “Give me back my backpack” as they dangled it over his head.  I told the teacher on duty; she did nothing about it.  Then, I discussed it with the other tutors, my classmates.  None of them were going to do something.  I said, “Listen, someone has to do something.”  While I didn’t have height, I knew I had eloquence.  I was scared but I didn’t let my voice give me away.  I walked into the lab like those old cowboys in Western movies with all their swagger and I’m-aint-afraid-of-you-look.  I emphatically said, “Give him back his backpack.”  The tall one pushed me away.  I repeated myself louder this time.  He pushed me away again.  Then, I wrestled the backpack away from them! I did not want Timothy to think he had to accept bullying because he was smaller than everyone else or (what we would now call), “differently-abled.” Weeks later, I asked a fellow tutor, “Hey what happened to those guys who used to come here?”  She replied, “Oh I heard them saying they didn’t want to come back here because of that scary girl Jessica.” I was a few grades older than Timothy.  But from what I heard, he finished high school in seven years and became a beloved character in school.  (As for Tommy, I apologized senior year high school.  To his credit, he was very magnanimous about the whole thing!)

--Jessica Lynn Gimeno

Did you miss Kira’s story? Click here for Bullied for Having Bipolar but This 16-yo is Nobody’s Victim