Discussion: We're All In It Together
Submitted by Flipswitch on Monday, August 16, 2010 - 4:18pm
Chris and new youngest Co-Host Phil talk about the fact that how family and friends react and help deal with a loved one's diagnosis dramatically affects how well or not so well that person does in life. Literally, the literature suggests the prognosis (how problematic the disorder will be) of a disorder can be much better if family and friends don't band together to take on a mood disorder head on. It turns out that we really are all in it together.
Also, we preview our upcoming interview with Cinda and Linea Johnson, a dynamic mother-daughter team that are a living testament to the power of a unified and proactive family unit in combatting bipolar disorder.
What's that you say? How do we find the holy grail? Cause that's what I just read you ask.
How do we get people to get on the same page: that's the universal question. It's a subset of the larger question: how do I get this person to see things my way? Anyone that's ever had an argument with a parent or a boyfriend/girlfriend will immediately be able to tell you that it may be THE hardest question on the planet to answer.
The only thing I can really think is to recognize two things: 1. realize that gender roles really do matter and play to those. In our example, we talked about a dad that doesn't buy into "all this doctor nonsense" and doesn't believe that the daughter has a disorder. A lot of that may stem from the way men typically are raised in our society, with the notion of do-it-yourself attitudes and the "don't blame anyone else" thing and the "don't ask others for help" type of issue (that undermines the first two). Framing the issue while recognizing such things might be helpful. 2. Exposure to truth. We talked about the fact that this isn't just a suggestion that families need to be in it together to help their loved one's do better with a disorder, it's verified by a mountain of research. Hopefully, there is only so much a person can deny. And once everyone agrees on the basic truths, then the other stuff can go by the wayside in favor of getting on the same page.
But the truth is that some people can deny until the mountains crumble. And some people may never come around. What do those people do? I think that deserves it's own talk, because, the reality is that a lot of families have multiple issues and won't want to deal with something so complex as a mood disorder: I mean, they're trying to pay that huge mortgage and worrying how they're going to make end's meet the next month. It's hard. And so it's not unlikely that a great many people with mood disorders will find themselves in that very situation. My only recommendation for that situation would be to walk with your chin up and try to do the right thing for yourself regardless. And don't hold it against people that they don't agree and aren't being helpful. They're scared and confused like you've been at times too. We all make mistakes. Chin up.
Really good discussion. I think you guys hit some perfect points. Unfortunately not every family is "in it together" or on that bandwagon. Now the question is, how do the adolescents who are struggling getting their parents on board, how do they get that close family structure where their parents are on board rather than just ignoring it. Hope you guys get to that. :)