Your son did get a break.  He has you and your wife as parents who have done the hardest thing I can imagine in order to help him and keep him safe.  You have made the best decision for him that you can.  And you should be proud of that.  Believe me that I understand how aweful it feels.  I too had to send my daughter away in April.  She is back now and we are working through the trials of various medications and doctor appointments and family services and the education system.  There is so much to think about and worry about.  And friends and neighbors and family do not know what to do or say and have no idea how to help.  I have found that the more I talk about it - here or in person - with anyone who will listen really - the better I feel about myself and my daughter.  I also find that many many people are touched by this illness but choose to stay quiet about it.  I think this contributes to the sense of shame that we feel as parents.  Please find as much suppoort as you can.  Your pastor is a good start.  You can also find support groups specifically for bipolar disorder - where everyone there gets it.  You can also get a parent match both here and through NAMI.  It works a lot like an AA sponsor - someone who has been there that you can lean on when you need to.  There are so many very interesting, loving, productive, creative people who live and thrive with BP.  Stay strong and take care of yourself so your son can learn from you and you can be there for him.  He needs you now more than ever.

--

Karenj

Self: as sane as I can be everyday
A - DD (17yo) well adjusted, high functioning, motivated, successful, waiting patiently to go away to college
M - DD (13yo) Mood Disorder NOS (dx 4/2011) ADHD (dx 2nd grade), dumb high IQ, mainstream education with 504 only but failing miserably, Abilify 7mg and Equetro 100mg evenings, Concerta 36mg before school
BF - Live in boyfriend of 5 years, supportive and learning more every day
EX - Ex-husband, divorced since 2002, family history of bipolar, unpredictable and sometimes raging

George,

It is a sad fact that friends and neighbors don't want to offer support for families who are struggling with mental illness.  Is Dominion a hospital or RTC?  Whatever the case, you can feel good that you are doing everything you can for your ds to help him get the treatment he needs.  By intervening early you will give his brain a chance to develop normally, and for him to grow up to be a productive adult.  Hopefully he will be able to avoid drugs and alcohol, and he will be able to go to school and actually learn.  Hang in there, join a support group here.  This is a tough time, but now you are on the right road.

--

Brenda,51, CABF Parent to Parent Volunteer
Mom to A, 16, BP, Tourette's, OCD, ADHD: Eskalith CR, Trilafon, Lamictal, Seroquel, Cytomel
E, 15, BP,AS: Seroquel, Eskalith CR, inositol
B, 13 & H, 11
Married 17 years to DH, 50

FROM CABF: Do not start, stop, or change medications or other treatments for yourself or your child based on what you read on this Website or elsewhere on the Internet. Information presented here should not replace the considered judgement of a doctor who knows you or your child.

 Hi George,

We had to put J-11 in the hospital for 8 days in March. She was in the hospital during Spring Break. We felt awful about taking her but she was in danger of hurting herself or others (me). She made some progress but we visited every night. This may have hindered her. The doctor said she "sweet talked to go home". She stayed home from school for 8 weeks. Attended last 3 weeks of 5th grade. The kids at school pestered her until she blurted out "I was in a mental hospital." That was hard for us. We live in a very small country town. All of her classmates have siblings in other grades with my other daughter. Their parents are our friends and acquaintences from church. We don't want the whole town talking about her. We know that its inevitable. That is hard for me to think about.

I was inpatient back in 2000. That hospital was awesome. It had paint therapy, music therapy, climbing and team work exercises. It was really a relaxing place to regroup. They don't take patients under 12. We had to take our daughter to another hospital. It was old and dreary. The staff didn't seem to be up and ready to help my child. I wanted to ask for more anger management and more accountablity. She was so excited to tell us each night about the other patients and how they progressed. I felt like my child was with kids worse and kids better than her situation. It was difficult to leave her with the general itinerary set up each day. I wanted more one on one treatment. I think about the other hospital and how she will be 12 in December. I think about how if she can just make it till then, we will be able to take her to the "good one."That makes me sad, thinking she might have to go inpatient again.

Things are better. Each day is a new possibility.

The school had a system of colored sticks. Green - great, yellow - some issues, red - serious issues.

 She has more "green" days lately.

 The elementary school was very supportive but she will be attending 6th grade at the middle school this year. This will be all new teachers and office staff. She destroyed her kindergarten classroom. That was the beginning of a 6 year tenure. The new middle school principal met with all of us. He didn't "get it" at all. I just figure we'll cross that bridge soon enough. 

I have mental illness all through my side of the family. My husband also has some cousins with mental disorders. He attributes those defects to the other side of the family. We have differing opinions on the subject.

--

Mom J-41 bipolar/borderline personality/anxiety
Dad M-41 anger issues
Middle Sister M-13 hoping she stays healthy/

Little Sister J-11 diagnosed bipolar/anger issues/also has schizophrenic type symptoms

Very empathic older sister A-19