Adopting A Bipolar Son
I am 28 and my 34y/o husband has 3 children, the oldest (12) is bipolar and ODD. I was diagnosed when I was 20. My son currently lives with his biological mother, who unfortunately allows the house to be run by the children. I joke that it should be called Lord of the Flies there. My son has 7 siblings, and is the 3rd youngest. 4 of his 5 older brother smoke pot, drink, and like to rob people- one instance is an old man at an ATM for $20. You can understand why we want custody.
Currently Josh (the son) is in a school for troubled kids, mostly because he can be very violent to teachers, staff, and sometimes other children. He has run away from school and hid within the school several times. And even though he's there, he isn't learning much. He is incredibly hypersexual, mostly in his speech around us, but i wonder about his "full-time" house sometimes.
I know simply being able to give him more attention, more instruction, will help his behaviour. Are their any suggestions as to what I can do to help him cope? He is medicated, and when we get custody I want them looked at- because I don't know that the Adderral is helping or harming the situation. I know that as an adult bipolar I have some insight, and help him know that he is not alone. But even with that, I still find him acting out, seemingly trying to push mine, and dad's buttons. I try to be compassionate, but it wears on my patience.
I am looking at several books. Does anyone have some insight to help?
Thank you so much!
Nicole
Nicole,
It sounds like he is not at all stable yet. Moving him to your much calmer and well-regulated house isn't going to cure him, but it's certainly an important step in getting him in a more optimal environment. Once you get custody, perhaps you could take him for a second opinion from another pdoc, and also obtain neuro-psych testing. Is Adderall his only med? Even if he does have ADHD, it sure doesn't sound like it's helping.
I think your perspectives can be very valuable to him once he starts stabilizing. And certainly in the meantime you will be able to empathize with what he is going through, and that may also be of some help to your dh as you ride out this storm. While you are waiting to bring him home, perhaps you and your dh can seek counseling to help you learn some techniques for managing and coping with your ds.
For reading I would suggest going to the "Learn" tab at the top of the page and clicking on "Getting Started". You will also want to review the Expert Treatment Guidlines and the AACAP Med Guide. If he does have BP, then the first line of treatment would be a MS, possibly 2, as well as an AP to get the mania under control
There is a wide selection of books available in the CABF Bookstore. Several have comments and recommendations from CABF members and volunteers.
Please keep us posted on how things are going.
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Brenda,51, CABF Parent to Parent Volunteer
Mom to A, 17, BP, Tourette's, OCD, ADHD: Eskalith CR, Trilafon, Lamictal, Seroquel, Cytomel, Allegra
E, 15 1/2, BP,AS: Seroquel, Eskalith CR, inositol, Buspar
B, 14 & H, 11
Married 18 years to DH, 50
FROM CABF: Do not start, stop, or change medications or other treatments for yourself or your child based on what you read on this Website or elsewhere on the Internet. Information presented here should not replace the considered judgement of a doctor who knows you or your child.
Oh, believe me, I know that it is no cure. He still acts out at our house, but we try to be more understanding, take breaks and try to help him calm himself down. I believe that there may be an underliningdepression issue, but right now it is all hypothetical- until we actually get him. I am working with him on some school stuff- because school refusal is a huge issue. BM doesn't help- calling him retarded and stupid, and allowing his brothers to tease them. I think that DH and I may need some counseling, mostly because I can't imagine how he's handling dealing with a BP wife AND son....
I'll keep you updated!
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Nicole-
Bi-Polar, diagnosed at age 22
DH- addiction issues, rage issues as a child
Son- J- Bi-Polar OCD
I do hope you get him soon. That is so horrible that his mom talks to him like that. Ughhh.
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Brenda,51, CABF Parent to Parent Volunteer
Mom to A, 17, BP, Tourette's, OCD, ADHD: Eskalith CR, Trilafon, Lamictal, Seroquel, Cytomel, Allegra
E, 15 1/2, BP,AS: Seroquel, Eskalith CR, inositol, Buspar
B, 14 & H, 11
Married 18 years to DH, 50
FROM CABF: Do not start, stop, or change medications or other treatments for yourself or your child based on what you read on this Website or elsewhere on the Internet. Information presented here should not replace the considered judgement of a doctor who knows you or your child.
Look for the root of the problem and you will be able to formulate a solution. If he has a mental problem such as bipolar disorder and ODD then look for way to solve it. It is supposed to be that simple but I think the situation is way out of hand. I can only advice you that you get help from a doctor who specialize in the field of mental problems because I know they can really help you. As for others who doesn’t have any idea about bipolar disorder here. I hope this helps. Cheers! :)