Adolescent Rapid Cycler and Discipline
My daughter is 15. I'm unsure anymore what to do. No punishment works for her. NOTHING! She will only do things around the house or what I tell her if it benefits her. For instance, she's grounded for throwing the house phone last night and breaking it. She is now cleaning and doing laundry so that she can be ungrounded. Once she is ungrounded she will once again begin to defy the rules. I have taken things from her not only for punishment but also to protect her. She loves herself ... she is beautiful and knows it and seeks attention and people to tell her how beautiful she is which usually comes in the form of boys. I went on to her facebook and found very descriptive things to boys that she had done, wants to do, etc. to many many many boys. I have tried my best to make it so that cannot be around boys. If she wants to be around a friend he is allowed to come to the house under my supervision only. She has to check in once an hour with me when I do let her outside, if she is gone longer than that she cannot be trusted. She has lost computer privileges, cell phone privileges ... when she goes to a friends house I make sure that I call the parent, meet the parent .. the whole nine yards. She is fine as long as she is doing what she wants to do, but once you take something away from her she is just plain mean. For instance, the telephone. Its been a big issue lately. She is always on it. I was a teenager once, I get it ... but when I ask her to get off the phone to do a chore or whatnot then its she hates me, she hates this house, she yells at everyone that crosses her path and when I tell her thats fine, now she cant get back on the phone the behavior changes. She screams. She cries. She is a bully to her little brother, she cusses at her sister, she is disrespectful to me, she is a liar, she is a thief, she is promiscuous and I've even had to call the police on her. But nothing helps. I know theres a better way to discipline but I dont know how! I want her to succeed, I really do. With me having bipolar as well, my patience is wearing and I know Im supposed to be an example and every day I pray for more patience and more strength ... and Im sure I rambled in this and maybe even left everyone confused ... please ask questions and I can elaborate if you need me to. Thanks so much!
I can tell your hair is thinned from being pulled out all the time! Has your dd had an evaluation done to see if she has a specific dx? It certainly does look like punishment is not the answer. I encourage you to go to the "Learn" tab at the top of the page and click on "Getting Started". That will lead you through all the main steps of diagnosing and treating a child or adolescent. As you are probably aware, hypersexuality is a sx of BP, but it could be related to other dx's, so it's important to have her thoroughly evaluated.
You may also want to check out Ross Greene's website or his book "The Explosive Child". You can also go to the CABF bookstore (also under the "Learn" tab) and find recommended reading for parents of teens with BP.
Best of luck to you as you begin this journey. And don't forget to take care of yourself
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Brenda,51, CABF Parent to Parent Volunteer
Mom to A, 16, BP, Tourette's, OCD, ADHD: Eskalith CR, Trilafon, Lamictal, Seroquel, Cytomel, Allegra
E, 15, BP,AS: Seroquel, Eskalith CR, inositol, Buspar
B, 14 & H, 11
Married 18 years to DH, 50
FROM CABF: Do not start, stop, or change medications or other treatments for yourself or your child based on what you read on this Website or elsewhere on the Internet. Information presented here should not replace the considered judgement of a doctor who knows you or your child.
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robert bockman
Brenda,51 what do you mean when you type dx and sx ?
dx=diagnosis
sx=symptoms
Here is a link to the common abbreviations used on this site.
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Brenda,51, TBMF Parent to Parent Volunteer
Mom to A, 17, BP, Tourette's, OCD, ADHD: Eskalith CR, Trilafon, Lamictal, Seroquel, Cytomel, Allegra
E, 15 1/2, BP,AS: Seroquel, Eskalith CR, inositol, Buspar
B, 14 & H, 11
Married 18 years to DH, 50
FROM TBMF: Do not start, stop, or change medications or other treatments for yourself or your child based on what you read on this Website or elsewhere on the Internet. Information presented here should not replace the considered judgement of a doctor who knows you or your child.
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robert bockman im raising my 11 year old grandson who is going through the same thing and hes only eleven ! :)) my prayers are with you :)
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Karen ferrara