What do you wish?
My 14 year old daughter was finally diagnosed today with bipolar disorder. We are getting appointments set up to see a couple different specialists. In a way I am so relieved to see possible help for the "mood disorders" that we have been struggling with greatly over the past several years. She has always been the smartest, most creative, and wonderfully loving child ever but the struggles have also been great... especially since puberty has reared its ugly head. I am also just very sad and lonely and I feel like I have no one to support me and that I a the sole brundt of her agression and of her euphoria. It is exhausting to say the least, but I guess you guys already know what I am going through.
I am wondering, for those who have a bit more experience with this disorder than I do. What do you wish someone had told you directly from the beginning? And what is the best advice you can give to a mother to help her child the most and coping mechanisms you use yourself.
Hi Anne - welcome to the relief that diagnosis brings! You have received what I wish I would have when the symptoms first began - a diagnosis. We didn't get our until she was just shy of her 12th birthday. She had initially been (mis?)diagnosed with ADHD, and there was no relief in sight. I joined this site immediately and went into a support group, and everything I needed to know was there in the group. All those things that baffled me before I came to find out were not at all uncommon with our kids. Shopping obsession, violent rages - physical and verbal, profanity, blame, lack of memory of her actions, everyone out to get her, running away ... all of it. I knew right away that I wasn't alone, and the sadness went away.
It was hard getting through the first part of it - waiting for the medication to get to therapeutic levels, dealing with school. But as time passed, so did the stress. Some of the advice that surprised me was about medication. I had to get her off any SSRI antidepressants and ADHD medication. We got her on a mood stabilizer first, and then an AP. We got lucky with our first try on medication - every kid is different. I also learned not to engage in the rages - to remove myself until they subsided. But the good news is that this is all manageable. Now that you know what it is, you can treat it and continue moving forward.
Stay with us - it's a great place for you to be!
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Shelle, 49 in So Cal - stressed - Celexa 20mg, Xanax 0.5mg rarely as needed
Family Response Team member and CABF Support 11
rmadmom@hotmail.com
Single Mom to Rachel, 12 - BP, anxiety, ADHD (or maybe not) - Lamictal 200mg am+Seroquel 50mg am/200mg early pm, Modified schedule in public at end of last school year / Hoping for placement in therapeutic school for the fall
We also have Birdie, the love bird - she bites; and Scarlet, the kitten - she does too
FROM CABF: Do not start, stop, or change medication or other treatment for yourself or your child based on what you read on this Website or elsewhere on the Internet. Information presented here should not replace the considered judgement of a doctor who knows you or your child.
Thank you so much for your reply. I too wish we would have had a diagnosis sooner. Life has been so incredibly difficult for her since probably 3rd or 4th grade. It is a relief to finally be able to start planning for something. There have been many diagnosis for her mood disorders.. adhd, depression, as well as being personally attacked for being to easy on her or too hard on her and everything in between. I always knew that something different was wrong and now having sone some research I feel like we've finally reached our answer. There are almost no symptoms that I've seen described that don't fit my Ali.
Rage?? What exactlly Do you mean? I am concerned that they might have misdiagnosed my daughter (yesterday) because all I have been reading is about depression. My daughter (14yrs) about a yr and a half ago started raging. Screaming fits, throwing stuff punching walls kicking. Recently (the last 6 months) she started pulling her hair out. Is this the kind of thing you are refering too?? I want so desperatly for my daughter to get help I just want to make sure that rage is part of it because I would say that is most sever symptom.
Korri
Hi Korri - what was your daughter diagnosed with, and what medications is she taking. My daughter pulled her hair out 2 years ago while on a stimulant ADHD medication, before we ever got a bipolar diagnosis. Rage definitely fits into the bipolar symptom list - there is so much more to it than depression alone.
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Shelle, 49 in So Cal - Celexa 20mg, Xanax 0.5mg rarely as needed
Family Response Team member and CABF Support 11
rmadmom@hotmail.com
Single Mom to Rachel, 12 - BP, anxiety, ADHD (or maybe not) - Lamictal 200mg am+Seroquel 50mg am/200mg early pm, Therapeutic School
We also have Birdie, the love bird - she bites; and Scarlett, the kitten - she does too
FROM CABF: Do not start, stop, or change medication or other treatment for yourself or your child based on what you read on this Website or elsewhere on the Internet. Information presented here should not replace the considered judgement of a doctor who knows you or your child.
Hi Shelle Thank you for such a quick response. She was Diagnosed Bi-Polar with something else I cant remember the paperwork is comming in the mail tomorrow. She has grandious thinging I have always wondered what world she lived in, and now things are comming together for me. She isnt on any meds yet, I am going on Monday to figure that out. She just started highschool and already I had to pick her up before she emploded on herself. I think we are going to have to rethink highschool at least for the time being. Anyway, her rage is BAD she has put 7 holes in our walls her door no longer hangs on the hinges and she pulls her hair out like I mentioned before. I used to try and intervien and restrain her so she wouldnt hurt herself and that just seemed to make the episodes last longer. She cries that she needs help so I know she is very self aware. I am so glad I found this site. I will probably be asking TONS of questions. Just knowing there are others out there feeling like I do. My sister in law has JUDGED my parenting for years and it hurts. Knowing there is NO Judgement here also helps. Thanks again for responding so quick.
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Korri
Oh, sweetie ... I'm sorry for all this. We've all been there, through the property damage, the personal injuries, and the judgment. You will find a lot of understanding here. Did she get her diagnosis from a medical doctor or a psychiatrist? Psychiatrists are much more familiar with the appropriate treatments. I would recommend not accepting any SSRI anti-depressants - many doctors will start there as sort of an adverse-reaction test and they really can just make things worse. The recommended order of treatment is one medicine at a time, beginning with a mood stabilizer (Lithium, Lamictal, Depakote, etc.), followed by an atypical anti-psychotic (Risperdal, Seroquel, Abilify, etc.).
I would recommend taking a look at http://www.bpkids.org/learn/getting-started over the weekend. It will provide you with a lot of information about bipolar disorder, and also guide you to treatment guidelines and resources that will be helpful to you. Knowledge is power, and the more you have the better able you are to work with your doctor to develop an appropriate treatment plan.
It will help to join a support group as well. The groups here really get to know each other and will always be there when you have any questions.
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Shelle, 49 in So Cal - Celexa 20mg, Xanax 0.5mg rarely as needed
Family Response Team member and CABF Support 11
rmadmom@hotmail.com
Single Mom to Rachel, 12 - BP, anxiety, ADHD (or maybe not) - Lamictal 200mg am+Seroquel 50mg am/200mg early pm, Therapeutic School
We also have Birdie, the love bird - she bites; and Scarlett, the kitten - she does too
FROM CABF: Do not start, stop, or change medication or other treatment for yourself or your child based on what you read on this Website or elsewhere on the Internet. Information presented here should not replace the considered judgement of a doctor who knows you or your child.
Awesome I will Thank you, and yes i strongly believe Knowledge is power. She is my life and i will always study to find out what is best for her. thank you again
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Korri
Oh yeah ... I almost forgot about all the "she just needs discipline" or "make a reward chart" suggestions. You won't find those here - it's judgment free!
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Shelle, 49 in So Cal - stressed - Celexa 20mg, Xanax 0.5mg rarely as needed
Family Response Team member and CABF Support 11
rmadmom@hotmail.com
Single Mom to Rachel, 12 - BP, anxiety, ADHD (or maybe not) - Lamictal 200mg am+Seroquel 50mg am/200mg early pm, Modified schedule in public at end of last school year / Hoping for placement in therapeutic school for the fall
We also have Birdie, the love bird - she bites; and Scarlet, the kitten - she does too
FROM CABF: Do not start, stop, or change medication or other treatment for yourself or your child based on what you read on this Website or elsewhere on the Internet. Information presented here should not replace the considered judgement of a doctor who knows you or your child.
Very big smile from me on that one. I am so sick of everyone wanting to have her behavior to change and not caring one bit how she's feeling!
We were so fortunate to have a pdoc who always started appts by saying to my child, "how are you feeling? " I do wish she had seen beyond ADHD with ds15, and maybe we wouldn't have had the horrible manic reaction to meds. For ds17, he initially presented with overwhelming TS, and the neuro we saw insisted that there could be nothing else going on besides the TS.
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Brenda,51, CABF Parent to Parent Volunteer
Mom to A, 17, BP, Tourette's, OCD, ADHD: Eskalith CR, Trilafon, Lamictal, Seroquel, Cytomel, Allegra
E, 15 1/2, BP,AS: Seroquel, Eskalith CR, inositol, Buspar
B, 14 & H, 11
Married 18 years to DH, 50
FROM CABF: Do not start, stop, or change medications or other treatments for yourself or your child based on what you read on this Website or elsewhere on the Internet. Information presented here should not replace the considered judgement of a doctor who knows you or your child.
Right from the start? What I wish? I wish I had been able to READ "It's Not Mental" I wish so many things. I wish I understood what my older daughter today is angry about - that the psych meds were a necessary start but then the whole health care system dropped the ball and did not then follow-up on WHY she had those symptoms which collectively got called "bipolar disorder." I wish I had not had such hubris about science and thinking the medical professionals actually cared, and I was worried about appearing "stupid" by looking to alternatives (I was a science snob). I wish the Internet existed in its present form back when my kids first got ill so I could see that what the "alternative" folks were saying was NOT "alternative" but based in scientific knowledge (such as about hormones and foods such as gluten) dating back over 35 years. I wish I had not derrided people talking about "big pharma" and its corruption as being "conspiracy theorists - wackos". I wish a lot of things. I wish I had known about toxins. About the gut. About nutrition, medical monitoring, and so much more.
--"Naomi"
It's Not Mental
Older dd: formerly(?) teen-onset bipolar: After over 13 years - stable off psych meds over a year. Now fine on just diet changes and higher thyroid levels after healing - addressing gut issues/Candidal overgrowth while using EMPowerPlus and other supplements.
Younger dd: formerly(?) Childhood-onset schizoaffective, TS, OCD with disabling migraines since infancy. After over 15 years, is "recovered" for 4 years after treating endocrine issues, food sensitivities, gut issues, sleep issues, nutritional/mitochondrial needs.
LITHIUM. I wish I knew it would have brought my boy back. Honestly, truly, I would say start with lithium. Also --
No child is the same.
Put your marriage first - if you are married
Get help for yourself - meds, therapy. Find a way to help yourself every day.
Find people who SUPPORT you and hold onto them.
Pray... and never stop. Never give up.
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Heather (41) Cymbalta; Ambien, Propranalol
DS (10) BP, ADD, SPD, ANXIETY: 1800 mg Trileptal; therapeutic level of Lithium; Clonidine for sleep; DH (40); DD (8); DS (4); Dog