I am so sorry to hear of your struggles.  I am sure both you and your ds are having a very hard time dealing with it all.  The stress can be overwhelming.

First, please make time to take care of yourself.  If you are not strong and rested, you cannot help him.  It's like the oxygen mask on the plane.  Put it on yourself first.

Next send a letter to your child's school requesting a full evaluation for an IEP.  You want it in writing because then they cannot ignore it.  In the resources section on this site, you will find a lot of useful information on how to deal with his education issues.  If his illness is interfering with his ability to learn, he should qualify.  Then they will have to deal with him rather than try to force you to deal with their difficulties.  If they say he doesn't qualify, appeal.

After that, research if he qualifies for medicaid in your state.  All states have different rules, but many will allow coverage for a child with "serious emotional disturbance" without regard to your family income.  If your state allows this, they will probably still deny coverage.  But keep appealing it.  You might also qualify based on income even if you seem to be over the limit because there are a lot of income reductions including medical bills and child care.

Parenting a child with bp is a full time job - on top of the parenting you may need to do for your other children and your actual paid employment.  It is exhausting but there is a lot of support out there.  Call your local mental health agency and see what is available.  Often it is sliding scale or free.  NAMI is also a good resource for support.  They can help you fill out forms and advise you on your rights.

Remember to breathe deep and ask for help.  Its an uphill battle.  Its hard especially when your child is unstable and you are the target.  Keep learning.  The more you know, the better you can help your baby.  You are doing a great job and are very much on the right track.

--

Karenj

Self: as sane as I can be everyday
A - DD (17yo) well adjusted, high functioning, motivated, successful, waiting patiently to go away to college
M - DD (13yo) Mood Disorder NOS (dx 4/2011) ADHD (dx 2nd grade), dumb high IQ, mainstream education with IEP/BIP, Seroquel 200mg twice daily - morning and bed time; Lamictal 50mg - morning (increasing slowly as needed)
BF - Live in boyfriend of 5 years, supportive and learning more every day
EX - Ex-husband, divorced since 2002, family history of bipolar, unpredictable and sometimes explosive

Thank you,  kind words are hard to come by right now and I appreicate knowing someone is out there.  I will look into to the resources you have suggested.  i could not begin to type the stuff going on in our house hold right now but I wanted somewhere to start.  Long stories short:  I have another child (5yr old daughter)  who is jealous of all the attention I am giving my son,  a military husband who refuses to deal with the situation or with any situation for that matter including any and all housework,  kids after school activities,  dcs investigating me because of my son's wild stories ( we beat him with barbwire after dropping a dish allegely)  just for clairfication we didn't, demotion at work for the drastic decrease in avaliblity,  and all the stress that just comes with being middle class in a expensive world. 

You might want to ask dcs if they have any resources as well.  I too was investigated a few months back and they referred me to a mental health program that gave my dd a case worker to help her cope, and who could help me to manage all of her treatment.  She comes to meetings with me when they are about her education or treatment goals.  The center also have trips they will take my dd on, which allows me to spend calm time with the rest of my family.  Dcs may also be able to help you find a respite worker to take your ds out of the house for a few hours a week so you can all get some much needed rest.  (My case was closed for lack of evidence, btw).

And you can tell how stable my dd is by looking around my house.  The more clutter and dirt, the less stable she is. :)  I was home last night and had to go for a walk because now that she is getting more stable by the day, the grubbiness is starting to get to me.  One step at a time.....

We will all make it through this.  At this point my main goal and focus is to keep both my daughters safe and healthy.  That's it.  Anything and everything else is icing on the cake.  I find that as I keep repeating that goal to myself and others it makes my priorities easier to decide.  You will find the right balance that helps everyone but it does take time.

--

Karenj

Self: as sane as I can be everyday
A - DD (17yo) well adjusted, high functioning, motivated, successful, waiting patiently to go away to college
M - DD (13yo) Mood Disorder NOS (dx 4/2011) ADHD (dx 2nd grade), dumb high IQ, mainstream education with IEP/BIP, Seroquel 200mg twice daily - morning and bed time; Lamictal 50mg - morning (increasing slowly as needed)
BF - Live in boyfriend of 5 years, supportive and learning more every day
EX - Ex-husband, divorced since 2002, family history of bipolar, unpredictable and sometimes explosive

Everyone has given you very good advice. Another thing you can do is sign up for Partnership for Prescription Assistance Program  http://www.pparx.org/

--

Beth
DH - Husband & Father
DS 16.2 - BP II, NVLD, GAD, Transgender (female to male) and gifted
Geodon 60mg AM/PM, Prozac 10mg PM (tapering off) and Buspar 15mg AM/PM
In 11th grade at a small alternative hybrid competency based public high school in Northern California, with IEP for ED & SLD

--Thank you Thank you Thank you

You are all so helpful

Cyndi
Son-Josh-age 10 BP ADHD CD ODD - currently taking, Abilitfy Seroquel and Lanctial
Daughter-Erin_age 5 drama queen- currently giving headaches

I laugh because if I don't I cry