New To Forum &year old With ADHD< BP
--Hello I am new to this forum, and just wanted to share that it is such a relief that there are other mothers going through what I am going through. I Finally had to take my 7 year old to the ER 7wks ago...there he was put in a partial hospitalization program for 2 wks, where he was diagnosed with ADHD, High Anxiety, Depression and ODD. He was released and sent back to a psychiatrist he saw once in July at the urge of his school therapist. The first psychiatrist had diagnosed him BP, but we didnt want to accept it and never gave him the meds and never went back til this last week. He again said that he thought his ADHD was comorbid with BP.My son is on concerta 36mg am , zoloft 25mg am and seraquel 25mg at 5pm, the psychiatrist said he might start a mood stabilizer on his next visit and take him of the zoloft, because I thinkthe zoloft is bringing back the nightmares and irritability. Know after all the ordeal that we have been through i have come to terms that he might be bipolar. However the BP Diagnosis scares me. My son has never been physically violent towards me. He has been verbal, rude, defiant and manipulative towards me and times it seems like he hates me but then at times when he is scared and confused he becomes obsessed with being next to me. I am just so confused on how to discipline him. And all this situation at him is taking a toll on my 8 and 6 year old. My 8 year old seems depressed at times, he says I am always busy with his brother and dont have time for him and in school when my son has melt downs my 8 year old has to deal with all the kids asking , What is wrong with your brother? I am starting to feel overwhelmed, How does everyone continue to take care of their families? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Janfour
Your son sounds very similar to my son at that age and before adding on a mood stabilizer, or in our case a anti-psychotic. We went form age 8 to 11 on just Concerta but age 11 added Risperdal and Zoloft. But what made the biggest differece was adding the Abilify last year. No matter what you try to do for your family w/o the right meds it can be exhausting and you feel like you're spinning your wheeels. I felt like I could never do enough and felt spread so thin among all 3 kids. Things improved so much in the last year finally with the right med for my son. I am able to relax a bit now, read, work more hours, working on some of my professional goals. You'll find that the time you can give your other 2 children will come back once your son is out of the crisis mode and the medication is working. I try to discipline with alot of empathy and understanding because I realize it's not him acting this way-it's his diagnosis. I do use consequences at times, but find talking about it together and coming up with his alternatives for the next time is more beneficial. Hope that helps, thinking of you!
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Wendy
48-adoptive mom
47-DH-adoptive Dad
DS age 14, (adopted 5 yrs ago from eastern europe) ADHD, LD, PTSD, anxiety, mood disorder-NOS, with lots of great qualities:)
Concerta 72 mg, Zoloft 50mg, Abilify 17.5mg, and Risperdal (.25mg a.m and .25mg late afternoon-weaning off slowly the last few months) and Melatonin
DD- age 20
DS- age 14-other son
Both adopted as baby/toddler -both ADD,LD
Janfour,
Kids with BP are not all violent towards their parents. Many have meltdowns or rages and damage property, but not everyone tries to hurt people. Have you read the "Getting Started" article on this website? It's under the "Learn" tab at the top of the page. It is important to keep a mood chart of some sort, even if it's simply jotting down a few notes each day about his behavior and response to meds. You also want to keep track of which meds he's on. Sometimes it's very difficult to tell what is due to the illness, and what is a reaction to some medication. AD's can trigger instability in many people with BP. Stims can, too. When BP is suspected it is recommended to start with MS's, then add in other meds as indicated according to remaining sx, such as persistent depression or ADHD.
It is important to think about what we want to achieve with discipline. What that really means is learning to control yourself. The problem is, right now he is very ill and has a limited capacity to control himself. If you try to punish him for these behaviors, will he learn not to do them again when he is out of control? Probably not. Raging by definition is not something they can control. Of course the best thing is to prevent rages whenever possible. If you can identify and avoid triggers, and use diversion to head off a rage, everyone will be much happier. Ross Greene's book "The Explosive Child" was very helpful to us in learning how to minimize raging. But in addition he will need the right medical treatment, which unfortunately takes time. Also, you need to create a safe environment for him and everyone else to protect them when he is out of control. This may include sending siblings to go visit the neighbors or locking them in your room for safety (that's what I used to do). Some kids can be physically restrained, but for others that will just make things worse.
If he's clingy, it's because he's extremely anxious. Many kids are "velcro kids" who won't leave their parents' sides. He needs all the calm nurturing you can provide when he is like that. Eventually, with the right treatment, he will be happy to be on his own.
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Brenda,51, TBMF Parent to Parent Volunteer
Mom to A, 17, BP, Tourette's, OCD, ADHD: Eskalith CR, Trilafon, Lamictal, Seroquel, Cytomel, Allegra
E, 15 1/2, BP,AS: Seroquel, Eskalith CR, inositol, Buspar
B, 14 & H, 11
Married 18 years to DH, 50
FROM TBMF: Do not start, stop, or change medications or other treatments for yourself or your child based on what you read on this Website or elsewhere on the Internet. Information presented here should not replace the considered judgement of a doctor who knows you or your child.
--Thank you for all your insight, Brenda, I think I am finally learning to identify what triggers the rages, and we here at home are getting better at avoiding them so we are having less meltdowns. I am not sure if its the medication, but he is still going through the mood swings everyday, from being silly in the morning to weepy and easily frustrated during the day, and by night with the seraquel sleepy. I am trying to keep a chart of his moods, but they change through out the day. I actually printed out some information on BP and ADHD for my closest family members to read. We are a close family and he often spends time at his aunts or with my mom, and I think that giving them the information has made the process a bit easier. Thank you for all the advice.
Janfour