First post - newly diagnosed
Hi,
I'm Maria and have 3 children, my oldest has ADD and very much under control and stable with medications. Our 2nd oldest has no special needs. Our youngest child Miguel was diagnosed today as having BiPolar Disorder, he is only 7. While this is not a suprise due to the events that have transpired in the last 2 years, I would be lying if I say I'm not devastated.
We adopted our son from Guatemala when he was 4 months, have very very scant (basically nothing) of medical history on his family. Looking back on his toddlerhood and childhood it has been such a hard road. Wednesday night was my breaking point, a few weeks ago he got angry (which happens almost every single afternoon after school and on the weekends) he took a knife and put it near my neck, he didn't harm me at all but it was a massive wakeup call. Then this past wednesday after spending over 3 hours trying to calm him down and quite often restraining him to avoid getting hit or spit at, he took a bat and tried hitting me with it.
Yesterday I called our family therapist and was told to call our Behavioral center for an emergency assesment. Within 2 hours the Psychiatrist requested we allow him to be admited to Acute Care. I don't think I've done anything so hard in my life when I left my son there crying.
Since we had been there before and they had past history, video of his outburst and other information, I guess the diagnosis was a clear one for all. They started medication today. I havent' been able to talk to him since yesterday but we will have a chance to talk to him today for 5 minutes on the phone and then have visitation hours from 1-4 tomorrow and Sunday and then Tuesday night again.
I'm emotionally drained, going back and forth on my decision to leave him there. I know it's right in my heart but I'm so devastated for him. He understands and mourns his birthmother and wonders why she gave him up for adoption and I fear so much that he will feel rejected again because we've left him there.
I wrote a lot more than I thought. Knowing that most here have been thru this step gives me the hope I need to get thru it.
Thank you,
--
Maria
Hi Maria, I'm so sorry you're going through this, but I'm glad you found your way here. From what I read in your post, you have done all the right things. It must be very hard to leave your son at a hospital, even when you know that it is best for him. There are many people on this site who will be able empathize with you and help get you through it.
One day he will come to understand how much you do for him and know that you are not abandoning him. My daughter was very volatile with me over the years and, while I often wondered if she should be hospitalized, I didn't have the first clue at the time who to call. I just tried to handle it myself, and it didn't really help her. Somewhere inside her, she knew I wasn't helping her and it really just made things worse. "I hate you" was an every day statement, and it was probably one of the nicest things she had ever said to me. Now that she has had treatment and we have made other changes with education and home life, etc., she seems to have a better understanding of how much I love her. She hasn't "hated" me in months!
I recommend joining a support group - you will get in with a group of people who have a great understanding of how you feel and what you're going through, as well as thoughtful suggestions and advice based on their own experiences.
--
Shelle, 49 in So Cal - stressed - Celexa 20mg, Xanax 0.5mg rarely as needed
Family Response Team member and CABF Support 11
rmadmom@hotmail.com
Single Mom to Rachel, 12 - BP, anxiety, ADHD (or maybe not) - Lamictal 200mg am+Seroquel 50mg am/200mg early pm, Modified schedule in public at end of last school year / Hoping for placement in therapeutic school for the fall
We also have Birdie, the love bird - she bites; and Scarlet, the kitten - she does too
Maria,
I hospitalized my oldest son for the first time at age 10. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, and I cried buckets of tears. But when they become that ill, and they are dangerous to be around and feeling so awful, then being inpt. is just the best thing for them.
While he is in the phosp it is a good time for you to get some rest and do some research about his illness and it's treatment. Here is a link to the Expert Treatment Guidelines; I highly recommend reviewing that and even printing it out so you can better understand the various meds the pdocs may want to use. Be sure to go to the "Learn" tab above, and click on "Getting Started". That is an article that covers the basics of understanding and dealing with BP in children.
I wish you the best of luck in all this. Please let us know how things are going with him in phosp.
--
Brenda,51, CABF Parent to Parent Volunteer
Mom to A, 17, BP, Tourette's, OCD, ADHD: Eskalith CR, Trilafon, Lamictal, Seroquel, Cytomel, Allegra
E, 15 1/2, BP,AS: Seroquel, Eskalith CR, inositol, Buspar
B, 14 & H, 11
Married 18 years to DH, 50
FROM CABF: Do not start, stop, or change medications or other treatments for yourself or your child based on what you read on this Website or elsewhere on the Internet. Information presented here should not replace the considered judgement of a doctor who knows you or your child.
Thank you for all the wonderful support and conforting words.
We had a chance to speak to him again yesterday for a few minutes but he did hang up again without saying goodbye. He told us he had been outside to the playground and used a bike and seemed in good spirits.
Today we have a 1 hour visitation again so I'm really looking forward to that. We hope to hear very soon that he will be released as his behavior has been perfect there and he seems to be tolerating the meds and taking them well.
I can't wait to see him.
--
Maria, mom to 3
Gabi - ADD, takes Concerta 72 mgs daily
Larisa - princess extraordinaire
Miguel - just diagnosed bipolar, Abilify
I hope the visit goes well today - Be sure to let us know. And for what it's worth ... I can't remember the last time my daughter said "goodbye" before hanging up the phone, or even gave me a chance to say goodye ... when she's done talking, she's done. Click. It's not just you, so let this one slide for now :)
--
Shelle, 49 in So Cal - stressed - Celexa 20mg, Xanax 0.5mg rarely as needed
Family Response Team member and CABF Support 11
rmadmom@hotmail.com
Single Mom to Rachel, 12 - BP, anxiety, ADHD (or maybe not) - Lamictal 200mg am+Seroquel 50mg am/200mg early pm, Modified schedule in public at end of last school year / Hoping for placement in therapeutic school for the fall
We also have Birdie, the love bird - she bites; and Scarlet, the kitten - she does too
well it all went well. My husband called in the day time and was told he is doing extremely well and we are looking at Thursday for a possible release. I am so very excited.
We visited with him and had a nice hour although at the end he got very weepy and asked us to please take him home :( we told him he was being so very good that we just knew they would let him go home really soon. We won't tell him so it won't be an issue if something delays the release. We were also told that his titres show some type of "infection" akin to strep throat and that the doctor treats it with amoxicillin, I'm not real clear about that but we gave them permission to treat him with AB.
I hope to hear today that we can prepare for him to come home tomorrow. I've already asked for Friday off at work so I can spend the day home with him letting him settle back in again and just to have a day for only him.
Thanks for listening.
--
Maria, mom to 3
Gabi - ADD, takes Concerta 72 mgs daily
Larisa - princess extraordinaire
Miguel - just diagnosed bipolar, Abilify
It all sounds positive!! I hope Friday is a really good day for you all.
--
Shelle, 49 in So Cal - stressed - Celexa 20mg, Xanax 0.5mg rarely as needed
Family Response Team member and CABF Support 11
rmadmom@hotmail.com
Single Mom to Rachel, 12 - BP, anxiety, ADHD (or maybe not) - Lamictal 200mg am+Seroquel 50mg am/200mg early pm, Modified schedule in public at end of last school year / Hoping for placement in therapeutic school for the fall
We also have Birdie, the love bird - she bites; and Scarlet, the kitten - she does too