Can BP be situational. Terror at home, but fairly finctional at school, etc.
Posted by smith2261 on July 17, 2011 at 9:42pm
Our 13 year old son is beyond drainging and difficult at home. In short, he basically terrorizes and pushes the family to a point of misery (constant space invading, controlling, manipulative, etc). Hoever, outside of the home, he is generally fairly functional and pleasant. He isn't able to be successful with friends on long periods of time, can still struggle with reality at school, etc, but bar far his worst behavior is exhibited at home. We have been trying to find a medication that is effective by Depakote and Risperadol have not seemed to have any major help. He is also on Focalin for ADHD and that is the only med that seems to be of any help. Any thoughts?
absolutely....my daughter's rageful, mean, violent behavior is only at home...
her Psychologist said it is because she feels safe at home.....
at school she is able to keep it in...though she does start to feel ill often at school.....so it appears that is how her symptoms appear there....
There is Abilify, Lithium......Kapvay and Intuniv for ADHD.........
Have you spoken with the school counselor? We first talked with her....and weren't impressed...then we called a meeting with the principal..and counselor and teacher...etc......there is something called a 504-
http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/services_in_school_for_c...
we had a meeting...and talked about how the teacher could help, etc...etc.....
Yes. My younger daughter held in a lot of things at school but as soon as she relaxed, felt safe... she melted down. I had her describe it from her point of view, which I included in the book "It's Not Mental." Sometimes it was like she was just waiting for us to say or look "wrong" so she could explode. It was useless to even try to avoid it (that's where walking on eggshells comes in) because it was going to happen.
To me, I thought of it like her ticcing - people with milder Tourette's can hold back tics a while then as soon as they relax they all break loose.
I think about how much of their limited energy goes into holding themselves together at school - like holding back tics. No wonder they explode later.
--"Naomi"
It's Not Mental
Older dd: formerly(?) teen-onset bipolar: After over 13 years - stable off psych meds over a year. Now fine on just diet changes and higher thyroid levels after healing - addressing gut issues/Candidal overgrowth while using EMPowerPlus and other supplements.
Younger dd: formerly(?) Childhood-onset schizoaffective, TS, OCD with disabling migraines since infancy. After over 15 years, is "recovered" for 4 years after treating endocrine issues, food sensitivities, gut issues, sleep issues, nutritional/mitochondrial needs.
My daughter is also sweet and innocent in school. Teachers say things like, she is a pleasure to have in class, always loves to help, so nice to other students.... At home she is the complete opposite, mean,violent,demanding. Our pdoc also said it is because she feels safest at home and more comfortable so she just lets go. I have also noticed that she tends to take more out on me than my husband. She has always been extremely mean to her brothers but they have kinda learned how to block her out. Abilify works really well for my daughters rages and lamictol seems to be evening out her moods, sowly but at least they are evening out.
tcali71
H(10) BP, Anxiety Disorder nos, Abilify 5mg,Lamictol 75mg, visterol 50 mg (PRN)
My daughter also is well behaved at school other than she can't keep friends. At home it is a nightmare! Our other children are either afraid of her or don't like her. If you don't live in our house you just can't picture it.
I totally believe so, but my experience with professionals, even pdoc, has been negative. Basically my eldest son's pdoc would waffle and tell me when i described stuff like that my son was really more of a conduct disorder case and should be locked up in juvie or jail more than hospitalized. My youngest dd is exhibiting some extreme symptoms even younger than son did, but i am scared to seek help for fear of being told it's just "learned behavior" because of her dad and older brother being bipolar or that it's because I'm not a strict enough mother.
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Elizabeth
separated from BP dh
mom to Charlie, 18yods, living with dh, BP, substance abuser, high school droupout forced out by the school, BUT a reader, thinker, and lover of music, pianist...working on GED
dd 16, lovely, mature young lady, dancer, no dxes
ds 12, sweet, outdoors lover, car enthusiast, Mr. Fix it, no dxes, possible ADHD
dd 7, Miss Merry Sunshine, drama queen, dancer and gymnast, very mood swingy
It is very reassuring to read some of your posts! I was beginning to think I am going crazy. My DD gets rave reviews at school, and does great with sleep overs at her aunts and grandma's house, and even wonderful with daddy, but when she is at home, or out with me WATCH OUT! Very demanding, attention seeking, lies all the time. Instigates her brothers and just plain wears me out. I was beginning to wonder what I am doing wrong. I am also teatering on how to handle her, is it behavioral or something she can't control? Do I discipline her, or try to redirect her? So hard to make the right choice.
I am going through the exact same thing with my 10yr old daughter. She struggles socially with other children at school, but is adored by all the teachers, in gifted classes, etc. When she comes, though, everything comes crashing down. She's miserable, angry, mean to her siblings, instigates fights, goes manic, you fill in the blank. My ex's opinion is that I just wasn't firm enough with her and she was being obnoxious. I was constantly wondering if I should discipline, redirect, talk the two of us to death or some other thing that I was completely missing. Nothing seemed to help because I tried everything! Through the help of a great counselor and psychiatrist, we're uncovering her issues and working on ways to help her. Even though mental health diagnoses are scary, I feel a weight off my shoulders to begin to really understand my daughter's issues.
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Ashley C.
Looks like I have finally found something close to the right support group! Just filled out the introduction page which I guess they will publish.My daughter has, for the most part, done well with other people and has gotten along fine at school although I would not call her the teacher's favorite as she has always been quite strong-willed and a bit "different." Nevertheless, she had been getting along okay and made excellent grades through 4th grade, even after being hospitalized ( for the first time in April). She has maintained some friendships from First Grade and has had some fun times , but all of that is falling apart as her condition worsens.She is definitely the worst with me. She exploded at me most nights last school year and still is very defiant towards me. Sometimes, I feel like I am being abused by my own child whom I love dearly.Emotional blackmail comes to mind too. It is just the two of us. Thank, god, for my parents and my close friend who she does well with and responds to. They offer me respite in the toughest of times. Her diagnosis recently changed and we are going through med adjustments. She is at a county school which is 1/2 day and year-round and not very academic. She is happy there and feels safe. I am having to take it one day at a time. I feel hopeful one day and the next day there is an episode worse than the previous one. Her second hospitalization was this July.
Liza63/sole parent: anxiety disorder under treatment of a psych.
DD (age 9):most recent diagniosis not even in manual yet; " Mood Dysregualtion Disorder," presenting with symptoms of bi-polar and great agitation:
150mg trilepdal am and 150mg pm, 25mg seroquel pm, 1/2 .25 mg risperdal as needed for agitation ( it has been needed)
Thanks for sharing your stories and for listening.
OH...the point is ...my daughter can no longer handle going back to the stress of a regular public school as she tries to stabilize her meds and moods. scary place. It has always been a place for her to excel. Mental health has to be #1 now. I've has to let go of academics for now as she is not herself and I think that holding it together in a regular classroom all day would only worsen her symptoms and our home life. Hope I'm making the right decision. there is no box to check on an IEP in a district for mental illness. There is only "Emotionally Disturbed." She has not been disruptive at school. I have seen the kids in these classes and my daughter does not belong there. It's a crime that there is no modification for a child diagnosed with a mental illness. I am sure there are some hoops I can jump through, but right now I am barely keeping my head above water. Thanks.
Just jumping in here... newbie.... but I'm identifying with this thread. My son (and to some extent my daughter) has always had the problem of being a great kid at school.... and then completely letting go of everything at home. People at school can't believe what I'm talking about. Getting him to school, dealing with the outbursts and rages that would often begin in the car as soon as I picked him up.... just was taking too big a toll on all of us. This year I'm homeschooling both of them. I'd already had to take my daughter out of school a year and a half ago due to her illnesses. Both kids are very bright and academics are not the issue... its that they can't handle the rigors of a school day, the schedule, the transitions, the confinement, the sensory overload, their anxieties and OCDs, their tics.... etc.... and still be able to maintain themselves for the rest of the day.... it just takes too much out of them.
Luckily we have some great doctors who understand the toll these illnesses take on the kids, and who have emphasized and supported us on making our kids health and happiness the number one priority. School cant be dealt with on our terms as our kids are able.
Two weeks ago my son (6) came to me and asked me if I would "please kill me for me". He's been in crisis for a few weeks....and although this is not an isolated incident... but rather the latest manifestation of his chronic conditions.... it still is the worst he's ever been. I'm thankful we have a great team of doctors working with us to help him get better.
My daughter, 8, is the same. Teachers love her in class although she is quiet and slow to participate. She doesn't really have many friends. At times she asks for me to kill her. I'm lost as to what to do. We had a pdoc but she will no longer see patients outpatient. I can't seem to find another pdoc that specializes in kids and takes medicaid. All of this while I am trying to finish my last year of college. I am desperate for help and encouragement. I don't know any other parents of bipolar children in my area. I'm looking for encouragement and hope.
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SingleMomof3
Mom of:
M 16, no diagnosis exhibits depression and anxiety
K 12, depression & anxiety: 300mg trileptal pm & 20mg prozac pm- stablized
O 9, bipolar: abilify 15mg pm & imipramine 10mg pm - not stable at all
Actually - my dd qualified for an iep under "Other Health Impairment". She too was annoying in school but not agressive.
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Karenj
Self: as sane as I can be everyday
A - DD (17yo) well adjusted, high functioning, motivated, successful, waiting patiently to go away to college
M - DD (13yo) Mood Disorder NOS (dx 4/2011) ADHD (dx 2nd grade), dumb high IQ, mainstream education with 504 only but failing miserably, Abilify 10mg and Equetro 100mg evenings, Concerta 36mg before school
BF - Live in boyfriend of 5 years, supportive and learning more every day
EX - Ex-husband, divorced since 2002, family history of bipolar, unpredictable and sometimes raging
Singlemomof3,
Where did the pdoc suggest all her patients go? That is such a tough situation. Is your pediatrician willing to help out with med prescriptions until you can find a doctor? Is there a bigger city within reasonable driving distance where you might find a pdoc? Here is a link to the AACAP where you can find a listing of most pedi pdocs. If you scroll down the left side of the page, you will see the pdoc finder.
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Brenda,51, CABF Parent to Parent Volunteer
Mom to A, 16, BP, Tourette's, OCD, ADHD: Eskalith CR, Trilafon, Lamictal, Seroquel, Cytomel, Allegra
E, 15, BP,AS: Seroquel, Eskalith CR, inositol, Buspar
B, 14 & H, 11
Married 18 years to DH, 50
FROM CABF: Do not start, stop, or change medications or other treatments for yourself or your child based on what you read on this Website or elsewhere on the Internet. Information presented here should not replace the considered judgement of a doctor who knows you or your child.
You all have NO idea how "delighted" I am to hear all of this. We got custody of my stepdaughters two years ago and, as is fairly typical, Dad is out of the house most of the time through the school week. He can't constantly get off work (military) for all the counseling, doctors appts for meds, parent/teacher meetings, etc. and is now in a position where he'll be totally away so I'm mostly doing this myself. I come from a very stable, loving, happy, healthy military household and am REALLY struggling with the dissarray my home seems to be in now.
How do you all handle going to school and hearing your child is "picture perfect" but dealing with what you're dealing with at home? SD2 is just short of fabulous at sleepovers, sports, and school and then comes home and turns our house into a nightmare. I've had no opportunity to build any time of relationship with her due to all of the behaviors she exhibits at home. DH and I are seeing our own counselor who isn't being much help as far as providing help for US because everybody is so focused on how we can help SD2. I can't help SD2 if I'm losing my own sanity. Any pointers would be delightful! Never forget that you're all strong, amazing people for doing what you do every day.
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StepMom to SD1 - 15f, adjusting fairly well to a more structured home and SD2 - constantly struggling, working on diagnosis but ADHD/ODD for now. Adderal, Prozac.
Wife to DH, active duty military. Ex-wife has unknown mental disorders
Me. Retaining sanity as best I can. Trying to plan our family with DH.
How old is your sd2? The hormonal changes of puberty along with the brain development that occurs at that time can wreak havoc on a child with a mood disorder. Also, disruptions in hormones (female, thyroid, growth hormone, cortisol) can all affect moods and behavior. It is important to have these things evaluated just to make sure they are not an issue. Allergies, both inhalation and food, can also disrupt brain function. Best of luck as you try to sort out what's going on with your sd.
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Brenda,51, CABF Parent to Parent Volunteer
Mom to A, 17, BP, Tourette's, OCD, ADHD: Eskalith CR, Trilafon, Lamictal, Seroquel, Cytomel, Allegra
E, 15 1/2, BP,AS: Seroquel, Eskalith CR, inositol, Buspar
B, 14 & H, 11
Married 18 years to DH, 50
FROM CABF: Do not start, stop, or change medications or other treatments for yourself or your child based on what you read on this Website or elsewhere on the Internet. Information presented here should not replace the considered judgement of a doctor who knows you or your child.
My daughter who was recently diagnosed has been great at school as well. In kindergarden the teacher liked her so much she invited DD to her daughters birthday party. None of our friends have any idea that DD has any problems since she only shows her other side at home when it is just family. It is amazing to me how well she does as school. She comes home and immediately goes to work trying to get a fight started with my her mom and I, if that fails she will start terrorizing her younger sister.