venting about my 15 year old lying
I have a 15 year old son who is bp, adhd, depression, and anxiety. He has failed school for four and one half years due to school refusal. I have just placed him in a therapeutic boarding school and he has been there 2 weeks. I just got to talk to him on thursday and I am so angry however I remained extremely calm during the phone call. He is lying about completing his homework. Not only that but he is stating he is emailing me and I know he isn't so I am really upset with his lies. I guess I am upset because he is heading down a terrible road if it doesn't stop. I did send him an email and stated that friends want his email address (he really has no friends one is his cousin the other a neighbor) and I won't give it to them without his permission so if he doesn't email me it won't be given out. Does anyone else have these issues? I will say it is really nice as he is attending school now, yay! And he sounds ok, a little homesick but I feel confident as we had discussed this for approximately 2 years for him to go to a school. I just needed some support with this.
My experience: I need to accept the sx of the illnesses and celebrate even the tiniest of baby steps. My daughet's current focus is about 10 min. What I percive as lying often is her distorted grandiose thinking. She is very unstable and not sober presently and it takes massive patence to deal with her. Acceptance helps me the most. I think it is great he is attening after all those years of refussal. Cara is a hands on leanrer and tradtional work is boring,etc. I try to brqaqk it down and she needs reinforcement. Just runing in homework on her own is not goign to happen. I homewschooled her ,she will be begining a remedial class online through the community college this Tuwesday. I try to focus and rinforce the prossoical and not get too discoruaged about the sxs. Right now, lying takes a back seat to her dangeous reckless stealing and other criminal behavior. I never give up hope. I think you are doing grat reinforcing that he is attending. The follow through with ADHD is very difficult. I also have a son who is now 21 with ADHDand in college and still have to brak stuff sown, make sure he turns stuff in etc.
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Sallie, mom to Cara, age 18 BP1, BPD traits, substance abuser ,does not live at home;
Abilify,30, topamax 100, Lexapro 10
Congrats on getting your ds into a TBS. I'm guessing the teachers have informed you that he is not turning in homework. Well, they deal with these issues all the time, so I'm sure they have a system and plan for helping kids learn how to handle school (and other) responsibilities. One good thing is that it's no longer your responsibility to see that he goes to school or does his work. This is a long-standing pattern for him, and it will take a while for it to change, but even a little change in the right direction will be progress. Hopefully the school will stay in regular contact with you to let you know how things are really going, although it may be helpful for them to know what he is reporting to you.
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Brenda,51, TBMF Parent to Parent Volunteer
Mom to A, 17, BP, Tourette's, OCD, ADHD: Eskalith CR, Lamictal, Cytomel, Allegra
E, 15 1/2, BP,AS: Seroquel, Eskalith CR, inositol, Buspar
B, 14 & H, 11
Married 18 years to DH, 50
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