How frustrating!  It seems like physicians don't realize that even though a diagnosis is more serious, it is often a comfort to the family because then they can understand what is going on and have a mechanism and a framework to explain what is going on with their child.  Expecially frustrating because you have secretly wondered all these years.  Of course, you don't want the physician to jump to conclusions or a more serious diagnosis, either.  But it would have been helpful had he explained his concerns so that you would know to be on the lookout and future healthcare providers would know to be on the lookout as well.

Also significant because not only is it a comfort to the family to know what is going on, but on a practical level--it effects treatment, medications, therapy, and prognosis!

You don't mention whether the physician is a psychiatrist.  I would recommend, if you are working with a general physician that you start researching and finding a good pediatric psychiatrist.  Keep looking and don't rest until you find one that you are comfortable with and happy with the level of care (reading over your post again now it sounds like you are looking for a second opionion).

The ODD in particular:  many clinicians even don't understand how the oppositional behaviors are intricately linked and symptomatic of the bipolar diagnosis.  Our daughter is very oppositional, but it waxes and wanes with her mix of medications.  Understanding this may be a relief for you!  If you don't have the book "The Bipolar Child" I really recommend it.  It is excellent all the way around.  There is good info in there on why these children are so darn oppositional.

--

Jennie (37) depression treated effectively with lexapro
Husband (58)
daughter Alison (14)
Bipolar I with episodes of psychosis; Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Recent Meds:---------------------- Switched to:
Lithium XR --------------------------Fast acting Lithium
Depakote XR----------------------- Fast acting Depakote
Zyprexa------------------------------ Abilify
Zoloft--------------------------------- No SSRI
-----------------------------------------Clonidine for sleep
Pravacid-----------------------------Prevacid
-----------------------------------------Zantac

4 cats (Oscar, Lilly, Mitzi and Morph) 1 foster dog (treeing walker coonhound named Roxy) 4 parakeets (Kiko, Poppyseed, Jack and Charlotte) 7 hermit crabs, 1 goldfish (Lenny) lots of guppies, 2 betta fish (Al and Pebbles)

Rose,

Although the physician told you he was treating depression, the meds being used do work for certain people with BP.  If your ds is doing well on this med combo, then that is the most important thing.  However, if he still is having problems, I would ask any new pdoc about the possibility of adding a MS (such as lithium, Trileptal, Tegretol, Lamictal or Depakote).  Check out the "Getting Started" article under the "Learn" tab at the top of the page for general information about diagnosing and treating BP.

--

Brenda,51, TBMF Parent to Parent Volunteer
Mom to A, 17 1/2, BP, Tourette's, OCD, ADHD: Eskalith CR, Lamictal, Cytomel, Allegra
E, 16, BP,AS: Seroquel, Eskalith CR, inositol, Buspar
B, 14 1/2 & H, 11 1/2
Married 18 years to DH, 51

FROM TBMF: Do not start, stop, or change medications or other treatments for yourself or your child based on what you read on this Website or elsewhere on the Internet. Information presented here should not replace the considered judgement of a doctor who knows you or your child.

--Thanks for the advice, we now see a psyc nurse preactioner . That is where the diagnosis came from. And we are getting a second opinion too. I have read that book , it was helpful. I just found out they can't see us til the end of the month, so now it's. A waiting game

Rose, 37, wife and mother heart broken
dd #1,- 14 healthy
ds 11, possible diagnosis, ...major depressive disorder, odd, 5 mg abilify and 150 mg welbutrin
dd #2 -5, healthy
dh, 41