I read that a few weeks ago.  Wow is all I can say.  I felt like someone had put my life in a book.  I gave it to a few of my relatives to read just so they can see how much it effects the entire family and what we "really" go through.

I also read "Intense Minds".  It is written by teenagers who I bipolar.  Pretty interesting.

--

L Anxiety, Lexapro
Mom to:
T (16) Mood disorder (Depression, Anxiety, OCD, BP, SA, ADD?), Risperdal 1mg morning/night, Zoloft 200 mg., Trazadone 150 mg.
Also has hypoplastic left heart syndrome (open heart surgery 3X), Lisinopril, Aspirin
10th grade-currently going to school online at home.
J (13)
J and C (10)

Always up for a good read that I can relate to! Thanks, I will look for it on Kindle:)

--

Wendy
48-adoptive mom
47-DH-adoptive Dad

DS age 14, (adopted 5.5 yrs ago from eastern europe) ADHD, LD, PTSD, anxiety, mood disorder-NOS, with lots of great qualities:)
Concerta 72 mg, Zoloft 25mg, Abilify 17.5mg, and Risperdal (.25mg a.m and .25mg) and Melatonin

DD- age 20
DS- age 15-other son
Both adopted as baby/toddler -both ADD,LD

I haven't read this book, but the title is something that breaks my heart just reading. My younger daughter wrote a poem titled "Plea" which said something like that, and I still choke up reading it.

When I talk about when the new GP raised my older daughter's thyroid, I refer to it as our first inkling that YES - our daughter was "still in there" somewhere.

--Jeanie aka "Naomi"
ItsNotMental-Book
Older dd: formerly(?) teen-onset bipolar (morphed into ultradian cycling): "Recovered" after over 13 years - stable off psych meds almost two years. Now fine on just diet changes and higher thyroid levels (after healing - addressing gut issues/Candidal overgrowth while using EMPowerPlus and other supplements). She added a little EMpowerPlus back on as a multivitamin simply because she feels better on it - gets sick less often.
Younger dd: formerly(?) Childhood-onset schizoaffective, TS, OCD, anxiety, PTSD, migraines. After over 15 years, is now "recovered" for almost 5 years after treating endocrine issues, food sensitivities, gut issues, sleep issues, nutritional/mitochondrial needs.

The daughter actually says, "Mommy, I'm still in here" during a total breakdown and on the way to a pshosp.  It is heartbreaking.  Although something we can all relate too.

--

L Anxiety, Lexapro
Mom to:
T (16) Mood disorder (Depression, Anxiety, OCD, BP, SA, ADD?), Risperdal 1mg morning/night, Zoloft 200 mg., Trazadone 150 mg.
Also has hypoplastic left heart syndrome (open heart surgery 3X), Lisinopril, Aspirin
10th grade-currently going to school online at home.
J (13)
J and C (10)

I have now read the book twice and I still cry during it... It is so heartbreaking to read this familys story. My dh has even started reading it and I couldnt get him to read anything on bp to save my life, so its gotta be good!!!

--

Teresa,31
dd,H,11, BP, GAD
Abilify 15mg split a.m/p.m, Lamictal 150mg split a.m/p.m, Tenex 1mg split a.m/p.m

I just ordered it on my Kindle.  I just finished reading "The Dark Side of Innocence"  by Terri Cheney.  That was difficult, too.  She realized as an adult that her BP started when she was very young, and wonders how her life might have been different if she had received treatment back then?   But of course she grew up in a time when kids just weren't dx'd with BP, and the stigma for mental illness was huge.

--

Brenda,51, TBMF Parent to Parent Volunteer
Mom to A, 17, BP, Tourette's, OCD, ADHD: Eskalith CR, Lamictal, Cytomel, Allegra
E, 15 1/2, BP,AS: Seroquel, Eskalith CR, inositol, Buspar
B, 14 & H, 11
Married 18 years to DH, 50

FROM TBMF: Do not start, stop, or change medications or other treatments for yourself or your child based on what you read on this Website or elsewhere on the Internet. Information presented here should not replace the considered judgement of a doctor who knows you or your child.

I just ordered intense minds yesterday... Cant wait for it to come.

--

Teresa,31
dd,H,11, BP, GAD
Abilify 15mg split a.m/p.m, Lamictal 150mg split a.m/p.m, Tenex 1mg split a.m/p.m

I started reading intense minds yesterday. I am probably about half way through and all I can say is WOW!!!! I think I am more confused about bp than I was before. Its a good confusion(if thats possible) because it pushes me to learn more. I can not believe that this is what our kids go through every day of their lives. It is heartbreaking to say the least. I can't even get through an entire page without feeling a lump in my throat. Dd always tells her tdoc and mentor she doesnt know how shes feeling and she doesnt know whats wrong. I didnt believe her before because how does 1 not know how they are feeling? I get it now. She truely and honestly doesnt know because she is feeling so much at one time. I will definately have to read this one a couple times.

On another note, I also got Dd Brandon and the bipolar bear. She has been saying she wants to read books so she understands it better so I figured this one was a good one to start with. Last night she asked if she could talk to me in her rom. As soon as I closed the door she lost it. She started crying harder than she has in a while. Real crying, painful crying, like she has lost all control crying. She calms down enough to tell me that she hates bipolar and even seeing the word makes her instantly cry. She doesnt want it, she wants to be normal, she doesnt want to take meds, and she will never accept the fact that she has bipolar. Broke my heart!! We had a very long talk and she even opened up about how her meds havent been working and she has just been saying that they are because she thought they were supposed to. I have known for a while that they werent working to full potential but I guess I figured it was something. I encouraged her to open up to her tdoc and pdoc and that I would help her if needed. I called tdoc and made apt for this week (We have been seeing her every 2 weeks.) We see pdoc Thurs. She does not think that any meds are going to work. She is hopeless, depressed, and angry. I want to take it all away, I cant, so now I am feeling hopeless, depressed, and angry. I think its time that maybe mama gets a tdoc of her own. I have been depressed for a while and was so busy with dd, plus I also have a 7 yr old and a 5 yr old, that there wasnt any time for me. Its time that I make time. Thanks everyone for listening to my vent.

--

Teresa,31
dd,H,11, BP, GAD
Seroquel 50mg a.m, 100mg p.m, Lamictal 150mg split a.m/p.m, Tenex 1mg split a.m/p.m

Great job thinking about getting your own tdoc.  I would be lost without mine.  Sometimes she even forces me to talk about something other than dd and bp :-)  Everything you are thinking and feeling is real and genuine and very understandable.  I go through it all myslef.  I too am starting to think that dd is 'faking' it lately.  But as long as she keeps talking she is making progress in my book.  Its when she shuts down that it gets to be an emergency.  Becuase she becomes paranoid and unpredictable and I cannot keep her safe.  I too wish with all my heart that I could fix it with a band-aid and an ice cube. 

You are an amazing mom.  Your dd is so very lucky to have you.  Learn more and more.  The more we know the more we understand and the more we can really help.  Knowledge really is power in this situation.  The kids will come around when they are ready.  And if we face it head on our children will learn from our strength.

--

Karenj

Self: as sane as I can be everyday
A - DD (17yo) well adjusted, high functioning, motivated, successful, waiting patiently to go away to college
M - DD (13yo) Bipolar I (dx 4/2011) ADHD (dx 2nd grade), dumb high IQ, mainstream education with IEP/BIP, Seroquel XR 550mg, Lamictal 150mg, 3000 mg fish oil, 1000mg B-12, B-Compex - morning
BF - Live in boyfriend of 5 years, supportive and learning more every day
EX - Ex-husband, divorced since 2002, family history of bipolar, unpredictable and sometimes explosive

Teresa,

As hard as it was for your dd to break down crying like that, I think it was probably a good sign that she is at least acknowledging her illness, which is step in the right direction of accepting it and then working to maximize her well being.  It's a painful process, but with you as her mom, I know she'll get there.

--

Brenda,51, TBMF Parent to Parent Volunteer
Mom to A, 17 1/2, BP, Tourette's, OCD, ADHD: Eskalith CR, Lamictal, Cytomel, Allegra
E, 16, BP,AS: Seroquel, Eskalith CR, inositol, Buspar
B, 14 1/2 & H, 11 1/2
Married 18 years to DH, 51

FROM TBMF: Do not start, stop, or change medications or other treatments for yourself or your child based on what you read on this Website or elsewhere on the Internet. Information presented here should not replace the considered judgement of a doctor who knows you or your child.

Teresa,

How old is your dd?  She sounds just like mine (16).  For the longest time she told me and the drs what she wanted us to hear...didn't want to disappoint us.  I used to go so frustrated because she would say she couldn't expalin how she was feeling because it was confusing to her.

I was sent a type of simulator...or an email from youtube that they use to train pdocs or therapists.  TRIES to show you what someone with hallucinations sees and hears.  It freaked.me.out.  I can see how they feel so scared...I can't even imagine.  If anyone is interested in it, let me know and I'll email it.

--

L Anxiety, Lexapro
Mom to:
T (16) Mood disorder (Depression, Anxiety, OCD, BP, SA, ADD?), Risperdal 1mg morning/night, Zoloft 150 mg., EMPowerPlus + AminoPowerplus, Omega-3.
Also has hypoplastic left heart syndrome (open heart surgery 3X), Lisinopril, Aspirin
10th grade-currently going to school online at home.
J (13)
J and C (10)

As heartbreaking as it was to see her that way, I believe it was also a good sign. She went and saw tdoc last night and after said she was glad she went. She said she felt a little better after talking. Her guidance counselor just called me and told me dd just had a complete breakdown in her office. She is extremely depressed now and its scary. I am so happy we see pdoc tomorrow. I might keep her home from school and let her have a chill out day.

 I have also signed up for the 12 week family to family course through NAMI. It starts in April. I am actually excited to go and learn more.  Its once a week for 2 hours I think so it'll give me time out of the house also.

--

Teresa,31
dd,H,11, BP, GAD
Seroquel 50mg a.m, 100mg p.m, Lamictal 150mg split a.m/p.m, Tenex 1mg split a.m/p.m

I took the NAMI course last year.  I was the only one there with a child, although he is a teen now.  But it was still good information, and there was a lot of bonding between the participants.  Many of them had young adult children who became ill in high school or college age.  Others had siblings or spouses.  I think you'll enjoy the  course.  NAMI also has a NAMI Basics course for parents of children with mental illness.  I am waiting for a training session to be a facilitator for that her in my town.

--

Brenda,51, TBMF Parent to Parent Volunteer
Mom to A, 17 1/2, BP, Tourette's, OCD, ADHD: Eskalith CR, Lamictal, Cytomel, Allegra
E, 16, BP,AS: Seroquel, Eskalith CR, inositol, Buspar
B, 14 1/2 & H, 11 1/2
Married 18 years to DH, 51

FROM TBMF: Do not start, stop, or change medications or other treatments for yourself or your child based on what you read on this Website or elsewhere on the Internet. Information presented here should not replace the considered judgement of a doctor who knows you or your child.

Teresa-it sounds like you are learning more about what your daughter needs vs manipulatation.  It takes awhile to get this all figured out and where breakdowns are stemmimg from, sometimes just the child asking for help and letting us know they're not okay. My husband use to think DS was just trying to get out of school when he would act that way,  he's slowly understanding it.  I am sorry your dughter is having a tough time right now....(((hugs))))

I know you live in the state below me, not too far, where is the Nami course?  How do I find the info on the courses?

--

Wendy
48-adoptive mom
47-DH-adoptive Dad

DS age 14, (adopted 5 yrs ago from eastern europe) ADHD, LD, PTSD, anxiety, mood disorder-NOS, with lots of great qualities:)
Concerta 72 mg,  Abilify 15mg, and Risperdal (.25mg a.m and .25mg late afternoon) and Melatonin

DD- age 20
DS- age 15-other son
Both adopted as baby/toddler -both ADD,LD

Wendy-

I thought you lived in Ma for some reason. I got the info from my daughters therapist but I believe if you go on the NAMI website there is also info. I have most of the listings for Ma including phone numbers. If you let me know what town you live in I can let you know. They are all over Ma.

--

Teresa,31
dd,H,11, BP, GAD
Seroquel 50mg a.m, 100mg p.m, Lamictal 150mg split a.m/p.m, Tenex 1mg split a.m/p.m

Yes, I do I live on the south shore. I will have to look at the website.  Thanks!:)

--

Wendy
48-adoptive mom
47-DH-adoptive Dad

DS age 14, (adopted 5 yrs ago from eastern europe) ADHD, LD, PTSD, anxiety, mood disorder-NOS, with lots of great qualities:)
Concerta 72 mg, Abilify 15 mg, and Risperdal (.25mg a.m and .25mg late afternoon) and Melatonin

DD- age 20
DS- age 15-other son
Both adopted as baby/toddler -both ADD,LD

Let me know if you cant find it. Maybe I can figure out how to scan it onto my comp and email it to you. There is 1 in Weymouth starting in march if that is close to you. I also have the contact info for that site if you want it :)

--

Teresa,31
dd,H,11, BP, GAD
Seroquel 50mg a.m, 100mg p.m, Lamictal 150mg split a.m/p.m, Tenex 1mg split a.m/p.m