(((((((((HUGS))))))))))  I am so sorry.  Instability is bad enough on its own.  This adds a layer on top that makes it all so much more overwhelming.  On the plus side, you now have on record with personnel used to dealing with mental illness that your ex and his family are volatile, difficult and detrimental to your dd's mental well being.  Also on your side is the fact that dd has been admitted twice in a short period and phosps don't do that without a valid reason.  You need a lawyer and an advocate.  Maybe someone at the phosp can help you.  Or a local mental health agency.  I know in the US I would contact NAMI but I'm not sure if they are in Canada.

I hate not knowing what the next move should be.  Usually I last in that stage a day or two before I can see the path to move forward again.  You are doing a great job with the messy mess you have and you are doing all the right things to help your dd.  Spend some time with your babies while she is in the phosp.  It will be a good respite for all of you. 

I will be thinking of you often.  Good luck.

--

Karenj

Self: as sane as I can be everyday
A - DD (17yo) well adjusted, high functioning, motivated, successful, waiting patiently to go away to college
M - DD (13yo) Bipolar I (dx 4/2011) ADHD (dx 2nd grade), dumb high IQ, mainstream education with IEP/BIP, Seroquel XR 550mg, Lamictal 150mg, 3000 mg fish oil, 1000mg B-12, B-Compex - morning
BF - Live in boyfriend of 5 years, supportive and learning more every day
EX - Ex-husband, divorced since 2002, family history of bipolar, unpredictable and sometimes explosive

That was well said, Karen.  Mashedbananas, you are in a tough situation.  I agree I would look into getting a lawyer, just in case.  Is there a pt. rep or social worker at the phosp that you could talk to about this situation?  They may just ban bio dad from the unit after that little scene he caused.  Poor dd, not what she needed I'm sure.

Try and get some rest and recuperation for yourself while she is in phosp.  Do something fun with your other kids.  Maybe even go out with your dh!  When was the last time you 2 had a date?!  Thank goodness dd is in a safe place.  Hopefully they will start her on some meds this time.

--

Brenda,51, TBMF Parent to Parent Volunteer
Mom to A, 17 1/2, BP, Tourette's, OCD, ADHD: Eskalith CR, Lamictal, Cytomel, Allegra
E, 16, BP,AS: Seroquel, Eskalith CR, inositol, Buspar
B, 14 1/2 & H, 11 1/2
Married 18 years to DH, 51

FROM TBMF: Do not start, stop, or change medications or other treatments for yourself or your child based on what you read on this Website or elsewhere on the Internet. Information presented here should not replace the considered judgement of a doctor who knows you or your child.

I just got back from the hospital. we have visitation everyday btn 6-730 and bio dad visits btn 730-830. They have banned his mother so far and have made it very clear to him that he is not to interfere with her treatment or the same thing will happen to him.

I contacted CAS for guidance and found out that the phosp had already called. They didn't like the fact that the whole family came in reaking of pot and caused a huge scene like that.

The nurse said that she was curled up in the fetal position shaking and crying. She raged at the pdoc and nurse because they wouldn't let her out on leave tonight so they ordered Klonopin as a PRN. Tonight she seemed ok though.. A little "out of it" but I kind of expected that. She's still pretty sad, but I just keep reminding her (and myself) that it's short term.

The boys seem happier today than they have been in a long time. DH is stressed.. Trying to keep it all together but having a rough time. He misses her like crazy.

--

-- D aka. Mashedbananas - no history of mental health issues in immediate or extended family. Living minute by minute.

DH - a very patient stepdad. Just trying to deal with whats been handed to him
DD 11- diagnosed BP with comorbid Conduct Disorder. Waiting for meds. 6 month waiting lists are the norm here. History of mental illness on bio dads side.
DS 3 - hides in closets during rages, showing signs of anxiety.
DS 6 months - just your average run-of-the-mill baby.. Eat, sleep, poop, cry, repeat.

Wow, Our situations are sooooo similar, only with some variations.  In my case, bio dad called cps on me because he thinks I'm a horrible parent...cps toned in on her mental health issues and it having been unmedicated due to lack of insurance and bio dad not fulfilling that obligation or helping with medication costs.  CPS sent me to hosp to have her evaluated, Evlauation turned in to her being admitted and a plan put into motion for her to restart her meds.  Bio dad flipped out on me when he found out.  According to his opinion, nothing is wrong with her except my bad parenting (Lord i actually wish that was the case, I can fix bad parenting, I can't fix bipolar).  He called and spoke to CPS yet again making complaints and I was terrified he was going to cause a scene with the hosp.  Luckly, he has not....but is still VERY against her being medicated. 

The benefit to my situation is that he pdoc at hosp wrote an affadavit for us and cps attesting to the medical necessity of the medication for her and I have a pretty solid garuntee that if he does try to interfere that CPS will step in on H's behalf as this is something she really does need. 

At a complete loss now with how to deal with him and what I should do to protect her from his ridiculousness and denial towards her mood disorder.  When she goes on visitation with him, he will not give her her medications and verbally abuses me every chance he gets about what a horrible mother I am for putting her on medication. 

I am considering taking him to court to have the custody re-written to reduce his parental rights of making educational, legal and medical decisions to on an emergency basis only.  I really want to request supervised visitations contingent on him completing the hospitals parent education courses and counseling sessions with one of their therapists so that he can understand the importance of her treatment and medication and take it seriously. 

Please keep me up to date on anything that you find to work....I'm lost with how to deal with him anymore.  Trying to focus my attention on H instead, she's the one that needs my focus and attention right now. 

--

-Dani

Dani, 27 yr old single mother: Dx 2002 GAD, Panic Disorder. Not currently on medication.
H, 7 yr old daughter: Dx 2009 Bipolar Disorder (Geodon 40mg 2x day)
A, 28 yr old father of H (divorced in 07), Dx 1988 ADHD, ODD (self-medicates)

Good luck with all this.

I know you know this already, but I'm going to say it anyway:  Bad parenting can not possibly cause bipolar or mood disorders.  Not even the worst parenting can cause bipolar disorder.  Not to say we couldn't all use some help to improve our skills (especially me). 

Brian

--

Daughter 8 BP/violent rages. Unsuccessful with multiple meds. Now almost 100% stable (Since before Christmas, but with a few minor regressions). EMPowerPlus + AminoPowerplus + NAC + Q10 + low dose lithium + melatonin + inositol + vitamin D + theanine. Diet: mostly meat, eggs, veggies, nuts and limited fruit. No dairy, wheat, rice, corn, soy , grains of any kind, vegetable or corn oil, processed sugar, starchy foods, food colorings, food preservatives, chemical names on the label, caffeine (chocolate), nor "natural flavorings". Loves home-made non-dairy ice cream. No more Risperdal!!!
Son (5) Normal. Same diet and similar supplements.
Wife (CathyK now also on TBMF) BP, on same diet and similar supplements & reducing meds.
Me same diet and supplements, with hopes to prevent Alzheimer's and ALS.