Anyone else get angry and mean towards bp child?
My son is 8 yrs old and was diagnosed bipolar within the last year. He is currently taking tons of meds 15mg adderal, 750 mg Depakote and 2mg Risperdal. Does this seem like a normal doasge? I don't see a lot of improvement. He still has massive temper tantrums and says he wants to kill and stab me during them. I'm having a hard time knowing what to do during these tantrums. I have a 3 yr old son and a 1 yr old daughter that witness everything. Knowing that my other children have to watch this makes me SOOO angry. Usually I respond to my bp son with anger and disgust, which I know is not apporpriate. I basically feel like I'm verbally abusive towards him but I really dont know how to deal with him and his rages. Does anyone have ANY advice???
I have so been there.
I try to keep my kids seperated as much as possible. During the rages, etc. I walk away. If I can't get my stepdaughter confined to her room, I go outside with my son. If it is bad enough, we go for a drive and DH stays outside while she goes off. It's best not to have any communication or contact, and to hae a safe place for your raging child to go. That is what has worked or me.
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grapevine
My son is 8 also and it is very hard to deal with at times. You have to have time for yourself and breaks away from the situation. Try to take time for each child and really take advantage of the good time to do special things with your child when he is not raging. Having a great psychiatrist is crucial. Our son is on a ton of meds, but his symptoms are managed to where he has only one or two melt downs a day and rages only 2 or 3 times a month. Hang in there...
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rnsquared2
I know how you feel, my son is 8 and i am on my own. I used to lock my son in his room which just made it worse. so i was told to put locks on my bedroom door and my other sons bedroom door. we each go there when a rage begins. turn tv up or music, earphones(mostly for my other son, not so my self. i listen for any concerns where i need to go back and evaluate what is going on with my 8 year old. often when i do not stay in same area as my son during rage or respond to him he will calm down faster but not alway.
if you have good neighbours, use them for support, often outside people come in to your house just for presence can sometimes settle them down, yes embarrassing and unconfortable but i have got to the point that i dont hide anything, i talk to who i can and use all the resources and people i can
good luck
kim
I recently cleared out my son's entire room because he throws everything he can get his hands on at myself and my husband. It's so scary b/c if you turn your back you could get hit with something huge or sharp! I have often thought about putting a lock on his door but I am so scared he will go through a window or something! If I locked myself in to my room I fear he would have access to waaaayy too much stuff (and on his own with no one watching him) and would seriously hurt himself. This is all sooo scary! Has your son ever seriously hurt himself or does he just scream???
Star Vannier 36 anxiety and depression cymbaltastarvan@nycap.rr.com
DH Bob 39
DS Caiden 9, Dx ADHD and mood disorder nos (possible bipolar)
Meds: Seroquel 450 mg throughout the day (350 pm, 50am, 50after school), Focalin 40 mg, Zoloft 25 mg
DS Keegan 11, OCD and ADHD (was on straterra recently but it gave him horrible stomach aches)
Yes I have. Thats when I researched and called every professional in the bipolar arena to give me the best location to get her help. We have found a good psychatric hosptial who is taking her off all of medications and seeing who she is under all of the meds. She is 10 years old and has abused me for some time. I feel your pain.
Yes I have. Thats when I researched and called every professional in the bipolar arena to give me the best location to get her help. We have found a good psychatric hosptial who is taking her off all of medications and seeing who she is under all of the meds. She is 10 years old and has abused me for some time. I feel your pain.
I have been there also. My son is 12 and when he goes off I have to walk away. That way he is able to express what he needs to get out but I don't react to what he is saying. Many times we go back after he has calmed down and talk about what he was thinking and feeling. I know that right now I don't like the way he is acting. He is giving up on everything and not trying. That is something that I have a hard time with.
My son is 12 also and he is exactly the same. He has what I call a giant case of "the I don't wanna's". He was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder, though we knew it was coming and he had another visit in the local psych hospital where they took him off his risperdol without weaning him giving him tardive dyskensia which may not go away. They have him on Haldol now and it works for the TD but he is miserable. Right now he is only going to school half days and he still is combative about completing his assignments. I get very angry because it is so hard to watch him not care and not try. I have lost 2 jobs to his disorder and possibly my marriage (not his father). My son refuses to even express what he is feeling other than anger. Do you think the "I don't wanna's" are preteen hormones?????
To me, it is sx of the disorders, I am angry at the disordrs which helps me love and have patince with my daughter.
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Sallie, mom to Cara, age 18 BP1, ADD, BPD traits, substance abuser ,does not live at home;
Lithium 600, loxapine 25, gabapentin 900
Thanks for the responses. I have left the room many times, because during an episode I cant force him to go to his room. So I lock the other kids and myself in my room. We still hear all the horrible things he is yelling though. ANd honestly I think its unfair that WE should have to leave the room. My 3yr old knows words that he definitely shouldn't. Its sad how much it affects the whole family. I am wondering, though, if this is really what we have to deal with until he is 18, or if eventually he'll get on some meds or we'll find some discipline techniques that will stop all of this.
I am soo right there with you. I am so resentful of all me and my other children have to endure. I am tired of leaving rooms or feeling like I have to escape him. I am frustrated that my toddler sees his behavior and may end up mimicing later because he thinks it is the norm. And my older son and I spend so much time in our own rooms hiding from my affected child that we have little to no relationship. My son not only rages but follows me everywhere and when he becomes fixated on a thought harrasses me about it. I have a complete disconnect from my child, which I think just happens over years of abusive words and actions. If I didn't put up a wall, what he does everyday all day would hurt too much. He calls me horrible names, and has for years before he should even have had those words in his vocabulary. I don't know what the solution is, because right now my whole family is in a dark place because of these issues. My son is on depakote, lithium,risperdal,ativan,vistaril,and a brand new one I don't even know the name of as a result of his recent admission to the psych unit for hallucinations and attempting to harm the baby. My son also has Kabuki syndrome and almost all of those affected children are in group homes from about 14yrs old because they are no longer manageable by family. I am mostly numb, and spread so thin that most of my motivation in life is driven by guilt.
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s
OMG I cried when I read these posts but in a good way there are people who get my personal hell sorry that you and your families are going through it as well. With my little emotional terriost leader and i feel like she is holding me prisoner. Yes thats what I call my child in my mind. because her mania is emotional terrism. I am totally right there with you when its said your life is driven by guilt. Guilt shame and fear is all I feel most everyday. I sat in my car for 3 hours last month in the middle of the night and cried because I just could not take her anymore that night and I did not know what else to do. (my mother was in the house with her so she was not alone.) I have little to no life outside of my daughter and her bipolar/major depression and ptsd and I resent the hell out of it. She is so black and white and once she gets something stuck in her head its like a reel playing, her neck would break if I stopped short cause her head is so far up my butt and if I am not fighting with her I am fighting for her. She is only 7 years old and smart as hell school tested iq and it was 120 which i think that makes it that much worse.
We were seeing a light at the end of the tunnel with the lithium colidine abilify combo (I even considered dating again Ha but I really cant ask any man to join me in my personal hell.) But the light at the end of the tunnel was only the train running me over. The lithium is killing her thyrod and she needs to come off it. (is it wrong of me to say I do not care about the thyrod I just want her stable cause 30 plus meds combos later and its been more I just stopped counting) and it wasnt perfect but for the first time in years it was fun to be her mom again. We were still having a little rapid cycles paranoia and one long full blown week cylce which was down from 3 plus weeks of no sleeping and being held hostage I feel like I have stockhome sydrome.
We have tried seriquel depkote respidal (35lbs heavier and no results after few mths of that one) riddlin which makes her soooooooo much meaner adivan does the same thing thats why I sat in my car for three hours last month. intuniv topamax wow and so many more i cant remember all the names. lithium was the only one we saw any kind of relief and its hurting her. Her pshy is an amazing doctor will take a hour plus with her see her same day if we need it and I know thats rare and hard to come by and he tries so hard to help her so thats something good.
My sister and best friend of 20+ years has bipolar/paranoid schizophrenia and I grew up with her highs and lows she was untreated undianosed til she was in her 20's I have seen her go through so many bad hard times that I would never want to see my child go through. I have ptsd/mdd (not caused by my daughter bp. mdd)
I know I choose to have her and choose and to do it alone. I knew that it was going to be hard being parent and single parent to boot but really seriously this seems like a sick joke that isnt at all fun or funny.
But thank you for all being sooooo honest because I felt like a horrible human and worest mom alive for resenting it. While I know she cant control this it doesnt change the fact or make it any easier.
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Hannahmom
hannahmom,
If she is a lithium responder and it is making a big difference for her, then her thyroid suppression can be easily treated. Many people on lithium eventually require thyroid supplementation. The bigger problem is renal complications. That is usually an indication to stop the lithium. Thyroid problems is not an absolute indication to stop the lithium. Please talk to your pdoc and endo about this again.
I'm glad you found us, and I hope you can find better supports and symptom relief for you and your child soon. It is a long haul, that's for sure, but there is always hope. You may also want to check out the CAM forum for info on dietary and other treatment options worth exploring.
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Brenda,51, TBMF Parent to Parent Volunteer
Mom to A, 17, BP, Tourette's, OCD, ADHD: Eskalith CR, Lamictal, Cytomel, Allegra
E, 15 1/2, BP,AS: Seroquel, Eskalith CR, inositol, Buspar
B, 14 & H, 11
Married 18 years to DH, 50
FROM TBMF: Do not start, stop, or change medications or other treatments for yourself or your child based on what you read on this Website or elsewhere on the Internet. Information presented here should not replace the considered judgement of a doctor who knows you or your child.
if I'm not fighting with her, I'm fighting for her. Emotional terrorism. God I so relate to your post.
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TM
I agree that it is unfair that we have to go through it and that my other children are effected. However, when I feel that angry I also remember that it is really unfair to my BP son that he has to deal with all of his feelings. I try to remember that he is sick and if this were diabetes or MS I wouldn't be angry with him. That's the good answer. I get it though, sometimes it feels hopeless.
I do not think that is a ton of meds -- my sig has changed below -- we're over 2100 Trileptal, 10 Abilify, 3 tablets of Amantadine (not sure mgs) and Clonodine for sleep... we still have the rages too.... my 2 younger 7 and 3.... see it, deal as best they can. Whe we are good, we're really good, but bad is bad. I try to love on my younger ones when I can-- as much as I can.. spoil them really -- but with extra attention and some candy when needed! It is so hard, I'll pray for you-- your meds sound -- normal? I would ask your pdoc. Maybe you need to go up. We did after a year, b/c he GREW!
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Heather (40) Cymbalta; Karate
DS (8) BP (TBD?) 1800 mg Trilepetal; 10 mg Abilify; Amantadine; Clonidine; Therapeutic Day School; Karate
DH (39); DD (7) Karate; DS (3); Dog
I also have found that not saying anything and staying out of site helps. I feel for you. It is so hard on our other children. the things they have to witness is just horrible. I lock myself in my daughters room alot, cause she is 13 and doesnt want to leave the house (jshe is afraid he will kill himself if we arent there) There is no right or wrong with a bp person. U need to do what is best for you and your other kids, cause the bp person just doesnt care about anybody, and the effect they have on there family. (it's all about them and only them)
Good luck love tina
There is no better way you could have said that all they care about is themselves.. THAT IS A HARD REALIZATION. I am a mom of 3 and my son 13 DC has had mental health issues since 1 years old. Now that he is 13 he is out of control and my whole family has been run on his moods.. We all are scared of him but we also don't want me to put in a foster home because of the crazy mood swings but as some point when do we put ourselves and the other kids first.. I feel so terrible that it has come to this but I don't know what else to do
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brunner
Needinghelp -- I feel that your reaction to your son is appropriate given what you've told us. My personal experience is that Adderall is not good for people with bp, but that is anecdotal and not scientific evidence. It is not at all surprising to me that you would have a lot of anger toward a child that is disrupting the equilibrium of the whole family. At the same time, my guess is that your ds wouldn't be like this if he could help himself. It is possible that the meds aren't enough or the right ones for your ds. As someone who had to experience the major meltdowns of my sister (whom I adored) and my daughters, I can assure you that it is traumatic for the siblings to witness some of what goes on when someone living with bp is out of control. Although I'm not a big believer in residential treatment, sometimes it can make all the difference in terms of turning things around. My feeling is that it is okay to protect your other children and yourself first. Your son may need something more to achieve stability. Do not second-guess your mothering. Trust yourself to know what is needed. I listened to others only to find out later that I would have been better off listening to myself.
Best wishes!
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Joan in IL (joanfisher7@gmail.com)
Co-Moderator of CABF Dual Diagnosis with Becky
Message board & Family Response Team Volunteer
S (18) -- bp NOS, ADD, on Lamictal (200), Seroquel (100), in cosmetology school & works in hair salon;
Z (20) -- bp2, OCD, ADD, on Lamictal (200), Seroquel (25), Zoloft (25), in college, living at home, pet-groomer, new mom!;
Baby M -- born 5/3/2010
K -- Z's bf and M's dad (bp/ADHD, self-medicating)
R -- supportive husband & stepfather;
Nicole -- older sister with bp1 who died in 2001 -- my conscience;
Remy (toy fox terrier), Kiddy (marmalade cat), and Squishy (pug).
Sos So true they wouldn't be this way if they could help it. My son has told me that, before he started meds. He said that he feels himself getting very angry very fast, and that he can't stop himself from doing the things that he does. And Joan you are so right, as a parent we have to listen to ourselves. We know our children better then anybody.
Best to all
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tina
bp son 15 150mg lamical 10mg abilfity
daughter 13 healthy
husband of 23 years
me 44 heartbroken
Hello I am new to the forum but unfortunatly not the condition, I myself am type 1 bipolar and my 8 year old has has been diagnosed since age of 6. I know how easily it is to get so mad and frustrated at them but I also understand where she is coming from, so it becomes very hectic at home. It often feels like her and I feed off eachothers illiness. I know her buttons to push and she also knows mine, she is very smart and intuative as to what is happening around her. I know from personal expierence that you do know what is going on and what your doing but you just can't seem to stop it, it takes over and if you don"t release it it eats you up inside. Its hard for others to understand but you really can't control it and you get so frustrated that you lash out at your child and I know the first reaction is to feel bad but always remember we are just human and we all have our own problems and need to let it out so you don't explode.
needinghelp, we've already talked privately, and the one thing that struck me was the statement "joanfisher" said. ( my guess is that your ds wouldn't be like this if he could help himself), this kind of humbled me, I guess my dd wouldnt be the way she is if she could help herself too. But yes, I go through the same thing, the anger, the tired of walking on egg shells, tired of her bp ruling the household. Tired of the only thing that matters is her "mood", heaven forbid mom have feelings or a bad day or a down day, it just isnt allowed. And yes, I get angry, I just finished a two page letter to her counselor after her counselor allowed her to lay me out because "i dont do enough for her, I dont spend time with her", well gee, maybe's its because she so miserable and I dont want to. I'm tired of being yelled at, screamed at, cussed at, tired of being forced to entertain her because she cant entertain herself. I'm just plain freaking tired.
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Trish no dx, single mom
Cierra 13 yrs old, dx bipolar II, adhd predominant combined
currently on risperdal, lamictal, fish oil-omega 3, b complex w/ c, melatonin
i fell the same way.. my sons therapist threw me under the bus for not being more compaionate to his issues and then told my 8yr old to stop pervoking him what i really hate about therapy is that it is such a one sided story.. if the therapist were to talk with my daughter about what he does to her i feel she would be singing a diffrent song.. as for me i feel i have crossed my mom line by yelling and sreaming things and after i regret it but i fell sometime that is the only way to get his attention as for the ignore it stuff well as we all know wayeasier said than done.. when thigs get bad i send my daughter to her room..my son started to kick in her door so now she has 3 locks on it.. the normal door lock the flip door lock and the most recent addition of a deadbolt lock for her. she says now she feel half safe in her room but she is scarred when he kicks her door.. our non bp kids go through so much.. i wish i could make her life better but all i can do is my best.. that is all any of us can do..
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Katie K Burke VA 32 Co-Mod military support group with Kim
I have DJD, Trigeminal Neuralgia-Chronic pain.. way to many meds to list
DS Triston 12- BP, ADHD, front left lobe brain damage.. clonidine, abilify, adderall,Tegretal, Wellbutrin, and Amantadine
DD Kirsten - 8 Mild CP
DH 32 Army serving this great nation.. we are all very proud of him.. he is a GREAT dad .
What get me through the days.. The Serenity Prayer
So after the counselor let you dd vent about you, did you also get a chance to explain how dd makes you feel? There are a few ways to get away from the abuse. One is to tune it out and ignore it. Sometimes they get tired of getting no response from you, and they'll go away. Some are very persistent, however. Another technique is to simply leave--go in another room, go for a walk, go pull weeds in the yard. The worst thing is to engage with them, especially in a shouting match. That always makes things escalate, and everyone feels bad.
You can also get a counselor for yourself, and if you feel your dd's counselor is not being supportive of you as a parent, you might want to look for another one for her.
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Brenda,50, CABF Parent to Parent Volunteer
Mom to A, 16, BP, Tourette's, OCD, ADHD: Eskalith CR, Trilafon, Lamictal, Seroquel, Cytomel
E, 15, BP,AS: Seroquel, Eskalith CR, inositol
B, 13 & H, 10
Married 17 years to DH, 50
FROM CABF: Do not start, stop, or change medications or other treatments for yourself or your child based on what you read on this Website or elsewhere on the Internet. Information presented here should not replace the considered judgement of a doctor who knows you or your child.
Oh my I am so there w/you! 13 yr old HD practically runs my life. I get so angry w/her and we just end up yelling and screaming at the top of our lungs at each other. But the few times that I have made it back to my bedroom to close the door and lock it, she's practically tearing up the house and cursing me out. I am single and have absolutely no support system whatsoever. "plain freakin' tired" just says it all.
Thank you for letting me know I am not alone.
Me- 53 and getting older by the millisecond.
HD - g'daughter -BP/ADD, Abilify 5 mg./ Focalin Xr 10mg
--When my ds was 10 and ragin I would take my ds8 and we'd go get donuts or ice cream. I just couldn't stand staying there though I figured it was probably wrong. That is why I ended up hospitalizing him. I couldn't stand the impact on my other son. Now my dd10, she's way worse but its only us she's wearing down but I know that she hates being this way as much as I hate her being this way. This is not who she wants to be. When my ds was onthe right meds after being hospitalized he told me how awful he had felt before and how much he had hated it.
Good luck,
Laura 54 PTSD BP depakote 1000, ambien 15
dd10 mdnos lamotrigine 200mg, mellaril 200mg , melatonin, D3, omega 3, metformin
ds24 lithium, zyprexa, concerta, trazadone, melatonin
ds21 college at least some depression issues
I second the thought of having the Adderall revisited, because it has actually added to the rage and anger. With my son, he was on a mix of Prozac and adderall and was told later that was not a great mix at all. Sometimes in the rages, all you can do is walk away for your safety and sanity. I decided last year that we would get a real punching bag and put it in the tv room, and it has made a big difference. It is still a little scarey to see how much he takes out on the bag, but I thank my lucky stars everyday it's not his older brother, grandma or me.
Hang in there, and remember you are NOT alone in all of this.
--
Pam just turned 40
SAD- wellbutrin
Dierk-12 lexapro 5mg@night 1mg risperdal @night0.5 in a.m.
Spencer 15 typical teenager and rock to us all.
Liberty, Mo
pjroberts07@gmail.com
Pam we put a punching bag in his room last week. I wanted it in garage but husband said he will never go down there when he is in a full rage so we needed to put it right where he always starts his rages which is in his bedroom. What a great idea
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tina
bp son 15 150mg lamical 10mg abilfity
daughter 13 healthy
husband of 23 years
me 44 heartbroken
My daughter is 13 with bp we bought a trampoline so she could be alone and jump her anger out and she has a stuffed doll that she beats up when she is angry we do this so she wont hurt the other children in the house.
I have felt the same way with regards to my own child.. especially when the stability has not been reached.
I would go and get your sons depakote level checked.. 750 mgs does seem small.. but maybe his blood processes it in such a way that 750 mgs is fine. And get that depakote number..
Stimulants and other types of blood pressure meds can also cause irritability.. My daughter was on adderall for a while and she was very irritable... and I am being kind..
when you feel like saying mean things, give yourself permission to have a time out. I know, easier said than done.. I have also appologized to my daughter if I had said or done something that is not appropriate... saying that I was frustrated .. How I do not know what to do to help...
sending you good thoughts today.
Caeryl
mom to Ms 20, OCD
Ms 18, BP-nos, pdd-nos, General LD in math and Language, Processing disorder, working memory deficit, Narcolepsy, kidney disease, von Willebrands disease.
I think it is normal for us, as parents to get angry at our children. Look at what they put us through. I know it's 99% not intentional by them. But when you are in the midst of a rage with them, that's the first thought that goes through my mind. "Why are you doing this to us!" When there are other children involved I think the instinct jumps ten fold. Think about it, if it was anyone other than your child breaking things in your home, cussing you out, beating on your door, would you put up with it? No. It's instinct to do everything we can in the world to protect ourselves and our children. We, however, get the worse end of the stick whenever it's one of the other chiuldren that is causing it. Our instincts are torn in two different directions. Protect one, help the other, yet, those two worlds seem to clash, if that makes sense.
Trust in yourself. Make sure your protect the younger ones. You'd feel worse if something were to happen to one of them during his rages. Learn restrainging techniques. If you haven't ever used them, you can be sure that most likely, you will. Sometimes a restraining my son will help calm him down sooner, than if I'd just let him "go off". Put all your pretties away in a box for awhile. Keep the knives locked up or hidden away. Don't hesitate to seek more help, ie. hospitilization, residential treatment if it on a constant basis for you. It took me awhile to figure that one out for myself as well.
Not sure if it will help if he is completely unstable, but one thing that we do for our son, is we keep a box of calming things in the living room. Things that he can go to and do if he is starting to escalate to help calm himself. Coloring book, couple of cars, stress ball, music, all in the box, and if he starts to escalate, I remind him it's there, and ask him if he needs time and would like to go to his calming box for awhile. Again, won't work if he's not stable, but if he is, it can work wonders.
Know that you are not alone. I've said things to my son, especially before he was diagnosed, and sometimes afterwards when it's just too much, that I regret. I try to make it up to him the best I can when it's all over, by reassuring him that I love him, that he is a wonderful child, etc. I think that's all we can do.
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Melissa Van Galder, 36, Mom to:
Mikayla, 12 yr old DD, no dx.
Dylan, 2 yr old, DS, no dx.
Michael, 9 yr old DS, Dx: Childhood Epilepsy (Seizure free for 6 years), Bipolar, ADHD
Meds: Zoloft 50mg, Trileptal 1050mg, Seroquel 150mg, DDAVP .4mg, Cyproheptadine 8mg, Senna 2tabs per day, Miralax 34 grams, Fluticasone Nasal Spray 2xday.
Married to Dale, 36: Step-dad to Mikayla and Michael. Father in every sense of the word. My rock.
We all live in Western Nebraska, but son is currently in RTC in Eastern Wyoming.
I think we all hit our limit at times. I definately have more patience for my son than DH does. So I'm often the one handling the rages. But there are even times when I just want to tell him to shut up. He doesn't swear or be mean (knock on wood) but he will scream bloody murder for 3-4 hours straight. My DD4 has the heavy duty headphones people use when they are operating loud machinery to help her with the noise. She's proving to be very adaptable and understands her brothers behaviors are not the norm.
When my son is raging, I remind myself this is the disorder, not the child. I know this is pretty cliche, but you wouldn't get frustrated with a deaf child because he can't hear what you are saying...
Just a suggestion:
My son's therapy (at around age 8) started with recognizing his emotions (We used a thermometer with numbers); recognizing and acknowledging how he feels during each emotion (We wrote on one side of each number the description); and recognizing safe ways to handle each emotion (We wrote on the other side the safe coping skill.) It's VERY important that your son does this, not you as a parent. He needs to have control over what each number represents as an emotion, and HE has to decide what coping skill to use. And remember, these can be changed if they aren't accurate. And do this exercise with him during a good spell. Then, if he gets upset about something, ask him what number he is. Then acknowledge how he feels and relate to him. "I can understand that feeling this way is very frustrating and hard. Lets see what we can do to help you with this feeling." Then check out what his coping skill is (Eat a snack, play basketball, color, listen to music, read a book, play a card game, take some quiet time in your room) At first it's pretty high maintance. And it may not work all the time.
The goal is to recognize the 3's and 4's before they become 9's and 10's. Our son pretty much lost all control at 9. So it didn't matter what the coping skill was, he was too far gone to be able to cope. And that was when I would sit on his bed and hug him until he started to come down, then he got to choose his coping skill for 8, 7, 6 etc. But if you see him getting upset at around a 4 or 5, then jump on it and see if he can keep it at a 4 and bring it down.
There are lots of variations of this. You can make a velcro ladder with a picture of him on it, and he can move it up and down the ladder. Or you can use magnets on the fridge etc.
It's funny, all this work we do with our son about controling your emotions, our daughter has learned a lot too. At 2 she was telling me she felt sad and I was just amazed!
A4N
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~30 year old Mom with Seasonal Affective Disorder~
~11 year old boy with Type I Diabetes, Bipolar Disorder and Skin Disorder~
~4 year old girl who is uncannily healthy~
~Married for 7 years to an adoring man~
I wish I could say that I have patience.. I don't and sometimes I really worry that I will either physically hurt Nate or verbally assault him. He makes me so angry sometimes when he will not listen or will not cooperate or when he his violent. Our son (8yr old diagnosed with BP at age 6) can have very violent rages. Many times my husband has to restrain him during these rages and that can last anywhere from 1 hr to 3 hrs or more. I don't have the strength to restrain him-- he would end up hurting me. Nate also gets very angry over the littlest things and this occurs daily. This anger manifests itself as name calling, use of foul language he learned at the therapeutic day school, yelling, throwing things, breaking things, physically hitting, etc. He will go to his room during these outbursts and rages, which at least removes him from our 10 year old daughter. We have had to screw our screens shut so that he does not take them out and jump out of the window (bedrooms are on the 2nd floor). Nate usually refuses to use any of his coping skills at home or at school. It is very frustrating. At home the only thing he will do is go outside and ride his scooter. This is very positive, but he will want to ride it up the road and go to the farmer's house. I don't like him leaving the house in the middle of a rage or anger spell. I'm always so afraid he will purposely ride into an incoming car to try to hurt himself. He will not talk to you while he is raging and many times will not talk after he has calmed down either. The majority of the time it is just like flipping a light switch switch and he always seems like nothing ever happened after the rages are over. I try to use the rage as a learning experience to teach him to recognize his feelings, etc. but it never seems to work. Personally, everything about BP is very frustrating for me and my husband. I know my frustrations stems mostly from not really knowing what I am suppose to do during these rages and such. I never really know if what I have done or said was the right thing or if it made things worse.. etc. Our docs cant don't tell me either when I ask. It is a tremendous feeling of inadequacy.
I am a nurse and for a long time I really did not believe Nate was BP. We were always told you could never really diagnose the kids until they are teenagers. I have changed my mind, however, after witnessing him cycle from mania to depression and in-between in matter of seconds along with his daily bouts of mania and periods of depression and self harm activities. His pdoc also has expressed that she really believes this is the correct diagnosis as well.
BP most definitely effects everyone in the family (extended family included) and everything that we do. Everything we do, everything we say and everywhere we go is thought about in relation to how it will effect Nate and how Nate's behavior will effect everyone else before we decide we can do it or say it.
I have worried about our daughter dealing with Nate's BP for years. At first the school was very good about looking out for her and talking with her, but the district only has one psychologist for 4 elementary schools. Amber feels Nate gets all the attention, he never gets in trouble, etc. She feels left out and Nate hurts her feelings often. I finally was able to get her in to see psychologist. I think the therapy and having someone neutral to talk to has been helping her cope.
Kim
Mom (40) to:
Nate 8, BP mixed (Seroquel 600 mg, Trileptal 150 mg; in 3rd grade with IEP and draft behavior plan (reg class 4 days and therapeutic day school 1 day per week; Very imaginative, creative boy, plays baseball
Amber 10, ADD (well controlled on Strattera); in 5th grade. Great artist, loves soccer, intelligent
Steve, supportive husband of 13 years who is very involved with the kids. Nate is extremely (disturbingly) attached to him.
Cincinnati, Oh area
Kim,
U just wrote my life story. Same exact things go on over here. The only thing is my son is alittle older and stronger. My daughter is healthy but she feels he gets all the attention, and go to a party omg only if tom is ok today. It reallys sucks. I don't know that right thing or the wrong thing. I just try and take it day by day. 7 days now without a rage, keeping my fingers crossed for another one today. I wont even think about tommorrow till it gets here.
--
tina
bp son 15 150mg lamical 10mg abilfity
daughter 13 healthy
husband of 23 years
me 44 heartbroken
--Hey Kim: I can really identify with you for some reason. I hope you still come on this site since I haven't seen a post since 5-19. My grandson Sebastian was difficult since birth. He cried, cried ,and cried. He was inconsoleable all the time. When my daughter went to ped's the doc told her no colic it must be her. She was a first time Mom,I felt for her. I was in WI. she was in AR. I even had Sebastian several times for long visits and he never slept more than 2 or 3 hours a night. It was awful!! Anyway to get on with the story Sebastian was put up for adoption in Feb of 06 and Grandma stepped in and took him. I have full guardianship of him until he is 18. Well I have known he was bipolar since he was 4 almost 5 that is when he came to live with me. I did a bunch of research online since the summer of 06 and he fit the profile for bipolar to a T. Every Pdoc that Sebastian had right up till June of this yr. has told me I am nuts; I don't have a degree so what I think does not count; he is way to young to have BP there is no way to even test him until he is a teenager!!! Well here we are now he is 9 just turned in June and he is in RTF in Fordyce AR. He had two sessions in acute psychiatric units in Fort Smith and Little Rock since March 16 0f this year. He has 2 counts of "disobedience" from the court system here in Baxter county AR. He is court ordered to the RTF. We are both ordered to jump through the courts hoops indefinitely now. Sebastian rages kept escalating very fast and without any advance notice. I never knew what the next trigger would be!!!! It was awful everyone said I needed to work on finding his triggers and defusing them; how hard can the be Ms Harrmann!!! Maybe you and the way you parent is the problem here!!!! I feel completely incapable to parent this child when I raised 6 of my own. I couldn't find a safe place for myself .Sebastian and I have been alone for the last 4 and a half years. I have had no life. I worked part time and Sebastian was my full time job. I couldn't go shopping,to the movies,to playgrounds. If it was time to leave it was a tantrum; if I didn't buy him the toy he wanted he would chase me down even in the parking lot hitting and kicking me and trying to get me to go back in the store to buy that toy;in the movie theater he hollered out that he was going to puke than tantrumed when I told him we had to leave because he was sick. Later that day he told me he was just kidding to see what I would do!!!! Our life has been anything but normal what ever that is.
Christine J. Harrmann
Christine... First of all I have to say, kuddos on adopting Sebastian. Even with you knowing how he was as an infant, you still took that step to adopt him. As I was reading your post, I just kept saying, "WOW". Please, try to stay strong for your son and just keep telling yourself over and over that it isn't his fault he is doing these things. Without you, he would be much worse. I have to keep telling myself this, and it is still so hard to follow it.
I am new to this web site. My son isn't nearly to the stage of yours, but I can relate. My son hasn't yet been diagnosed as being BP but I totally know he is and have said this for so many years. We have been through 4 counselors and are on number 5 now. This one started off telling me that no child can be diagnosed as being BP but now, that she has been counseling my son for a while, she just tells me tonight at our session that she is leaning that way.
No one wants to step up and diagnose him as having bipolar disorder. I just don't know what to do about it. I have found a great book called "what works for bipolar kids" and the author is an MD, PhD in Illinois. I am ready to call up her clinic and get my son in. She founded the Pediatric Mood Disorders Clinic and Pediatric Bipolar Research Program at the Institute for Juvenile Research at the Univeristy of Illinois.
My son is 10 now and he is so up and down just as if turning a light switch off and on. You never know what will tick him off or make him sad. Nothing seems to hurt him, literally. He had a broken finger once from wrestling, and he kept wrestling through practice. He doesn't care if he hurts others, including me. He has slapped me across the face, punch my ribs, and I bet you can just imagine. He will do these things when my husband isn't home. We have not had a huge blowout like that in quite a long time, thank goodness, but since he has started with this counselor, he at least isn't abusing me any more, but.....he is hitting his brothers at the drop of a hat which totally scares me. I can never leave all three of them alone at all. My 12 year old has to share a room with my 5 year old just because I can't trust my BP son to be alone in a room with his brothers.
Life anywhere with Jordan, my 10 year old, is definately unpredictable. I just never know when he is going to blow up.
I am so glad that I have found this website to be able to voice my concerns and thoughts with everyone here.
Again, please hang in there Christine. Together, with all the moms on this site, we can try to pull together and help our kids get through this so they can hopefully have a good life ahead of them.
--
Annette
Wow, yeah...I didn't realize so many other parents feel the anger too. I am also a nurse and I know that Aly does not mean to do these things. I just feel so frustrated that she continually does things to self-sabotage herself. I just don't understand. Things will blow up and then we will talk about it and she says she understands and then the next time I turn my head she does it again. She has tried marijuana several times and once even showed up at school for an important family function night high as a kite. She could have been expelled. I took her home and just yelled for 2 hours until she broke and started discussing with me. I sometimes want to hit her or even push her and envision this and I even tell her I feel like hitting her. I feel guilty after...I know she doesn't mean it...but she has to take some responsibility for her actions... Next year after she graduates and hopefully starts college, the world won't be a forgiving and kind as here at home. I don't know how she will do it...
--
Mother, advocate, cheerleader and mentor of child with MI and nurse of children in our public schools (MI is widespread and widely not accepted).
~Each new day brings new hope! Lets break the stigma!
OMG THAT IS AN AMAZING IDEA!!!.... I have tried several ways of trying to calm his anger during his rages,some im not so proud of :(. But the one that iv found is working the best is loving on him;I loved when u said when he wouldnt calm down u would just sit on his bed and hug him; I knwo every family has to handle their bp child whichever is best for them but i think with love u can conquer all; I love your idea and will work on that immediatly. Thats the whole reason i tried this chat site was to find ways that may work; Thank you for the great idea and good luck with your family
warmly
Brandie
When you have a child who continues to rage despite medication on board, the first thing you need to look at is to make sure that nothing in their med mix could be the cause. Medications like stiumlants and antidepressants, can and more often that not, worsen the bipolar condition, resulting in activation of mania, rage and aggression, along with psychotic symptoms.
If there is nothing in their med mix that could be contributing to it, make sure current meds are at therapeutic levels, make sure your child is actually taking his/her medication, and work closely with your doctor to stabilize the child.
Antipsychotics are great at treating rage, aggression, mania, along with psychotic symptoms. Many parents have found that their child responds best to antipsychotics being dosed twice, or three times per day. Often a child also requires a PRN (as needed resuce med).
In an attempt to avoid rage, identify his/her triggers and try to re-direct the child before he/she goes off. Remove and reduce all stimuli and stressors to avoid escalation of rage. Don't argue or force compliance. Don't threaten with ultimatums. Calmly tell the child what you expect of him/her, walk away, and allow him/her to process the information.
If the child ends up raging talk in a low, calm voice (hard I know!). Avoid using his/her name...in fact, if at all possible avoid talking at all. The use of a PRN maybe needed. Physical restraint may also be needed - learn how to do a therapeutic hold. Make sure the child goes to a safe place. Offer a pillow, other soft object, or punching bag to the child. If you have other children in the home, make sure that there is a safety plan in place.
Practice the use of Low Expressed Emotion (LEE). LEE is using little or no emotion when dealint with or raction to an unstable child in crisis. Avoid raising your voice. Do not give commands. Do not speak in a condescending manner or criticize the child. Offer reassurances that everything will be all right and that the crisis will soon be over. Avoid being over enthusiastic as well since some children cannot handle the over stimulation of too much exuberance. Think before you speak. In fact, avoid speaking at all if you can.
Remain in close contact with your pdoc. If rage an aggression are worsening don't hesitate to contact your pdoc.
I highly suggest reading The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene. I have found his techniques to work best during times of instability. During times of stability, I have found the techniques outlined in Love and Logic by Jim Fay to work best.
Needinghelp...is your son's Depakote blood level within the therapeutic range (80-125)? If you don't know, make sure from now on to actually ask the doctor fro a number each time his levels are checked. Then keep records of those numbers. Don't just settle for an "it's fine" response. Make sure that the Adderall is actually needed and is actually helping and not hurting your son. Often mania is misdiagnosed as ADHD and this can be a costly mistake.
Finally, make sure you are charting as this can be a valuable tool to aid your doctor. Sample mood charts can be found here. Here is a link to the current expert treatment guidelines. Many parents have found it helpful to print these and take them along when they meet with their pdoc.
--
Jackie aka mom2one
General & Med board moderator, FRT
Mom to David, 17, BP, Psychotic Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, PDD, Cognitive Disorder
Meds: Seroquel 900 mg., Risperdal 9.0 mg., Lamictal 600 mg., Lithium 1250 mg., DDAVP, and Synthroid .150 mcg
Fish Oil and Vitamin D
IEP, Therapeutic School
Married to my best friend and rock for 21 years!
I completely empathize with all comments on here. My daughter is 8. She was diagnosed at 5. I really don't know what to do.
Our problems always start with the taking of the medicine. Every night and every morning before school, we have a complete meltdown to take medicine. She takes Lamictal and Seroquel at night, and Lamictal only in the morning. I have found a compounding pharmacist that is making the Lamictal into a flavored liquid and then I grind the Seroquel so that she can swallow it all at once.
I can handle many things, but the complete disruption twice daily is wearing on my wife and I.
Does anyone have tips on making the medicine taking easier?
Scott
I have a newly diagnosed 5 year old, the rages are unbearable! I am so tired of getting beat up, and so are my other children. I also have a 9 year old with auto immune disease on meds 2x a day. My suggestion would be keep all meds together in a convenient spot (and safe) and do upon waking up and going to sleep.Putting the meds in with juices can help, you just need to make sure the entire cup is finished. After years it's routine. I also always carry extra with me in case we do forget so no doses are ever missed.
good luck...it's nice to know none of us are alone!
jmc3---we are not alone. This place is great. So many tips
--
tina
bp son 15 150mg lamical 10mg abilfity
daughter 13 healthy
husband of 23 years
me 44 heartbroken
Use whatever motivates her! If it's money, pay her to take her medicine. Glad you found a pharmacist that was able to compound the medication into a liquid for you. Hopefully, that will put an end to the daily melt downs. Does she say why she hates taking the medicine?
--
Jackie aka mom2one
General & Med board moderator, FRT
Mom to David, 17, BP, Psychotic Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, PDD, Cognitive Disorder
Meds: Seroquel 900 mg., Risperdal 9.0 mg., Lamictal 600 mg., Lithium 1250 mg., DDAVP, and Synthroid .150 mcg
Fish Oil and Vitamin D
IEP, Therapeutic School
Married to my best friend and rock for 21 years!
I totally agree with the techniques Jackie listed about working with an activated, manic, or aggressive child.
After several years of 3 major BPI mixed episodes, suicide attempts, and hospitalizations there isn't much my children can do when they are unstable to make me angry at them. I'm a scarey calm, clinical, and non reactive parent. I have seen pure stability and complete unstability in my kids. I don't take what they say or do personally when they are unstable, and in the moment. We work on recognizing triggers and build on coping mechanisms once their meds are working. Bipolar in our case started in very early childhood. One son, it started in babyhood, so we learned a long the way. It took a while to learn not to take their symptoms personally, and develop a scarey calm, clinical, and non reactive response to our children when unstable. It didn't happen over night especially when they were super young. We were trying to understand what the heck was happening, surviving day to day, and pursuing accurate dx's and meds. It took us a few months to learn that during a rage it is not the time to try to win battle. We of course didn't know that we were dealing with bp and that LEE, and the techniques in the Explosive Child would work SO much better than all those remedies you read about in parenting magazines, parenting books for typical children, from the MIL, or general public. Once we got with the program we became more and more skilled all the time and are still learning. Totally letting go of the anger, directed toward our children, which we hid pretty well, when our children were manic, and seeing them clinically, helped make us more empowered/competent parents to our bp children. It has lifted a huge bolder off our shoulders, ohh and our children's stressed shoulders during times they are unstable, which helps them calm down easier, most of the time.
When talking in person with other parents who have children with mood disorders, I've found (totally just my experience) that parents who haven't yet experienced stability in their children have a rougher time viewing their child's rage, verbal vomit, other symptoms, clinically and non reactive and not taking the holes in the wall personally. Parents who have seen their children's bipolar controlled well seem much better equipped to be more non reactive and clinical. Again, not scientific, but just what I've seen. I'd think it's got to be easier to have more empathy/sympathy/not take it personally after you've experienced a good period of time (a year or more) of child without the dibilitating symptoms of bipolar (no aggression, demands, psychosis, mania . . .). Having a break from the symptoms and seeing the difference between our children when stable and unstable was a true gift. It really hits you then, that this is an illness they can't help. If you have a med resistant child keep plugging away to find the right medications and combos.
Scott, sometimes putting pills whole or ground into a spoon full of yogurt or pudding, helps it go down easier. With my younger son we use the M & M yogurt. He takes the meds first in one spoon full of yogurt without the M &M's, and then after he swallows his meds he can pour the candy into the yogurt and eat the rest. This works well for him. Our oldest started meds at age 4 and doesn't have any issues taking them. To save money we a big pack of M & M's and a large container of vanilla yogurt rather than the more expensive convenient packs of M & M yogurt, since he takes meds everyday.
Ashton
Ashton,
Thanks for posting - great insight!
--
Jackie aka mom2one
General & Med board moderator, FRT
Mom to David, 17, BP, Psychotic Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, PDD, Cognitive Disorder
Meds: Seroquel 900 mg., Risperdal 9.0 mg., Lamictal 600 mg., Lithium 1250 mg., DDAVP, and Synthroid .150 mcg
Fish Oil and Vitamin D
IEP, Therapeutic School
Married to my best friend and rock for 21 years!
" I've found (totally just my experience) that parents who haven't yet experienced stability in their children have a rougher time viewing their child's rage, verbal vomit, other symptoms, clinically and non reactive and not taking the holes in the wall personally. " -Ashton
I think Aston hit the nail on the head with this comment. I know I for one was definitly in this category! Before seeing the disorder well managed I felt like I was constatnly on the verge of losing it! I handled my daughter very differently than I do today. "I also think, though, that therapy has helped that in a HUGE way as well! When my daughter attended a partial hospitalization program to be evaluated and diagnosed one of the best things that happened to our family was the required family counseling sessions we had to go to once a week. We sat down with my daughters Psychologist who would go over the last weeks progrss, evaluations, medications, and where they were heading with the diagnosis. The psychologist also spent a GREAT deal of time talking to us about my daughter's behavior, her disorder, and how the two effected and affected eachother AND gave us ample advice and direction in how to effectively deal with it.
One of the primary things she told us was, during times of melt-downs, rages, and outbursts to remain as emotionless as possible. The child is trying to engage you and it doesnt matter to them if it is in a negative or a positive way. If you react you are enforcing this behavior. It was really hard for me to understand at first because I couldnt quite graasp how, if I was punishing the behavior how it was reinforcing the behavior. The key here is that the child is indifferent to the type of engagment they recieve and instead rest solely on eliciting any kind of response.
Children with Bipolar disorder (sic: adults as well) experience the rapid onset of extreme moods. Even at the youngest age this can be EXTREMELY frustrating as they try to justify thier current (sudden) emotion and come up empty handed. Whether consciously or subconciously they will usually end up causing or provoking a situation in which they would be allowed to act out on their extreme emotion justly. Unfortunately for us parents, they cant create this situation on their own so they usually direct it towards us, or other children (or anybody nearby for that matter). This is why it is important to remain "nuetral"!
Chances are, especially in the beginning, it's not going to matter one bit how "nuetral" or monotone your responses to them are, they are still going to have their rage/outburst/melt-down. BUT, through time and consistancy they will learn that they will not elicit a response from you, good or bad, and will eventually stop trying (ok, well, maybe not stop all together, but you will def see a dramatic decrease in the severity of their efforts). Not to mention, even though it is very hard and frustrating to remain a "cool cucumber" while the center of their very targeted attack, you will find you feel much better about the situation, both during and after as forcing the nuetrality also forces you to keep your emotions in check!
I feel for your situation with your child, needinghelp. My daughter is almost 6 and has always had violent, severe outburst that were really scarry and frustrating. It was VERY difficult for me to learn how to not let the situation get me wound up. I can def sympathize with feeling verbally abusive. Through time, and a WHOLE LOT of trial and error we have found that the absolute best solution for the situation is to not only remove ourselves from it but also the react by not having a reaction. I realize that my daughter cannot help what is going on inside herself, but having grown up with a severely Bipolar father and older sister, never thought it was fair that everything had to cater to them. I have found though, that by remaining completely nuetral during these times has brought more harmony to our household and now that we are at a past the point of her trying endlessly during outbursts to elict a response from us we are able to move forward in teaching her positive coping skills and teach her that even though she cant help how she feels, she CAN help what she does with it (you have to get the first hurdle past first though!).
To this day, one of the most ingenius things I've ever said to my Bipolar Child during a rage was said really in anger despite how unbelievably monotoned and nuetral I kept my voice "I know you are upset, and if you need to yell and scream and throw yourself around then do it, do what ever you need to do to get it out! Mommy is going downstairs to my bedroom. You are not invited to come down with me right now because Mommy doesnt want to see you being upset." and when she yelled at me that she wanted to talk to me "Mommy cant talk to you right now b/c you are too upset. Yell, scream, do what you have to do and when you are done and calmed down we can talk."
...And she did, for about 30 minutes, banging incessantly on the locked bedroom door until I thought she would break it, had to open the door for fear that either her or the door would not survive the fight, the next 15-20 minutes consisted of me moving from room to room trying to escape and her following me, me giving her very little response to anything she screamed at me except for "You are too upset, when you are calmed down we will talk" in a ridiculously cool and calm, emotionless voice for the situation. She finally gave up in an dramatic way by running to her room screaming and slamming the door and crying for another 20 minutes saying stuff like she hated me and that I didnt love her! I cried a lot and went over and over in my head all the things the psychologist told me "Do let her elicit a response from you", "do not respond to the negativity during a rage", "any response is a response and thus will encourage the behavior" and one of my personal favorites "Anything you do, no matter what it is, during a rage, will be the wrong thing" (I think any parent of a bipolar child can see the truth in that). She finally had tuckered herself out and the rage had seemed to pass ("always wait until the storm is gone before proceeding") and I went in to my daughter's room and sat on her bed, hugged her and started talking to her, all the while remembering even more stuff I had learned "Never ask a Bipolar Child "Why" they did something during a rage, they dont know why and trying to get them to think of why will only frustrate them more and potentially provoke another melt-down" so instead we talk about why we dont say and do the things we did (only breifly and only on topics that really need explaining (she knows she hurt my feelings with some of the things she said, she doesnt need to be drug through the mud for it, so we breifly mention it to be sure she understands the impact of the things she says and does but move quickly on as to not swell on it) and we talk about how we felt before, during and after (how it felt emotionally, physically, ect) and most importantly, what we can do next time we start to feel like that. This part is real important because they are they steps that are going to teach her how to identify her "rumbling" stage.
(P.S. the "Rumbling" stage is that short time period from the time they start to feel the mood/emotion until it turns into a rage. We are told by many that it is best to diffuse the situation during this time as efforts to do so after are fruitless. We have found that re-direction and distraction techniques are quite effective)
We are getting better and better at diffusing the situation (or rather distracting her from it) before it turns into a rage, but we still have our fair share of rages, the only difference is that now, because of our consistency with using all of the above, the rages are far less severe in nature and shorter lived.
It's not an easy or painless path. In fact, it is extremely exhausting and takes a lot of patience and persistance. But as we've seen greater and greater results from it, it has definitly made it all worth it.
We are at the point now where we she starts to rage we nuetrally and monotonly tell her that she is very upset and needs to calm down before we will talk to her, she usually responds by going to her room and crying or yelling a lot, but it sure beats the screaming, crying, thrashing, banging, violent outbursts we had before.
As far as meds go, there is no magic cure for Bipolar and unfortunately every child's bipolar is different and their bodies are different meaning medications are never a one size fits all case. And even more disheartening is that i can almost garuntee that it's not going to be a one sizes fits all all of the time. Work closely with your drs to get the medications right, remember that they only see what is presented to them so you are their eyes and ears outside of his office doors. Talk freely with them about the childs meds and if you dont feel you can or dont feeel they are listening find a diff Dr. Best quote i ever heard about this was on another forum (i think) a person said "Medicating Bipolar Disorder is like taking a shot in the dark, with a blindfold". It's gonna be a lot of trial and error but eventually you will find something that helps, and then, almost garunteed, at some point in the childs development it's gonna stop working, or even make it worse, and you will have to "go back to the drawing board" and do some more trial and error to find a new "right" combination, and over and over and over again.
Just remember that the medications used to treat Bipolar Disorder in no way come close to "solving" the problem, all they are intended to do is help, bring the highers lower and and lowers higher, and so on. The best way to "Solve" the problem is a combination of medication and counseling, not just for the child but for u and your spouse too.
The best thing you can do for your children (all of them) is learn better, more effective ways to handle him, especially during outbursts.
Hope this helps, sorry its so long. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions. I am more than willing to share my knowledge in hopes it can prevent another family enduring the hell we had to in order to finally figure it out.
--
-Dani
Dani-
This is one of the best synopsis of Bipolar I have read yet! It blows my mind that I can research 10000s of hours and still find new ways to look at this terrible disease... I hate it, it's mean, and I really wish someone would figure out a way to kick it's butt!
Thanks for great info
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Heather (40) Cymbalta; Karate
DS (8) BP (TBD?) 1800 mg Trilepetal; 10 mg Abilify; Amantadine; Clonidine; Therapeutic Day School; Karate
DH (39); DD (7) Karate; DS (3); Dog
your a very smart level head person, your children are lucky to have you
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tina
bp son 15 150mg lamical 10mg abilfity
daughter 13 healthy
husband of 23 years
me 44 heartbroken
I wish my DD's therapist and psychiatrist could have put it like that. I have every intention of trying your approach the next time she cycles (which by my accoun t should be in about 10 min) thanks!
--
try2doitall
Dani,
How true! I "fought" my childs BP for years. Then one day it hit me.....she is such a control freak by nature, why not give HER control over this BP monster. Thats what we did...we gave her "permission" to be angry...to scream...to cuss....to rage however, she also had permission to control part of BP. She would control the hitting part. She wouldnt let BP make her hit herself or anyone else. She was the boss. Next time she melted, she stood in front of me calling me every name in the book, little face beet red and fists balled tightly agaisnt her sides. She didn't hit me...she didn't hit herself. When she calmed down...I praised her all over the place for not hitting. She was so proud of herself! Slowly over time we have gotten things even more under control...I just have to constantly remind myself to be there but to allow her to handle her own emotions. As a mom, thats the hardest thing to do....the emotion is killing your child but, you have to stand back silently and allow it to happen so they can learn to cope.
Carol