96 hour hold, police, frustration, incompetence....what would you do?
Yesterday was a complete day of hell, I am sure you have all experienced the same as well. I do not know what to do if anything from here, I feel the police were wrong in how they handled things and do not know if there is anything to pursue there or not.
I knew from how my son, G, was acting that it was going to be "one of those days" that we all dread...it started in the AM by him telling me he took two of my 1 mg Xanax, now he has never done this before, I did not see him do it and he is a story teller so I do not know if he actually did or not. He had a psych appt later in the day and I called the psych to let him know behaviors, etc., and if he could help me get him into a phosp - he told me to call the local PD and have them place him on a 96 hour hold. I called up to the local PD, the Chief of Police was a complete ass, told me he was tired of dealing with us on a daily basis (which is not the case...last time was over three months ago), he is not going to place him on a 96 hour hold just because "you can't handle your kid" and essentially that was the end of the conversation - no officer ever came!!! (NOW by law shouldn't they have arrived or done something, anything?!?!?!)
In the AM he became fixated on something and to be honest I do not recall what it was at this moment, then he started talking about killing himself (which he has not in a long time) so I went and braced myself over the kitchen sink fearing a panic attack coming on, he followed me in there spewing every foul word you could imagine when that didn't get arise out of me (used to it by now) he attempted to punch me (he is 6ft3 and near 300lb, I am 5ft5 and 150lbs) and against my better judgement I went to pop him across the mouth, he turned and claimed I hit him in the eye and my finger nail scratched his eye. I left the kitchen, attempted to time out myself in my room, he followed, I turned around, asked him to please give me a cool down period to which his response was Fuck You Bitch and he forcefully pushed me backwards into my room, my head landed a few times on the wooden floor and my left forearm smacked the door jam very hard - I ended up going to the ER for fear it was broken. A neighbor drove me, on the way to the ER I stopped up at the PD (just to give you a visual I had my jammies on, unmatching socks, hair up all over like a wild woman, tears streaming down my face and holding an ice packet across my arm) to speak with the Chief of Police, I told him my son is in the house, is suicidal and I was on the way to the hospital - his response was well go to the hospital. I told hiim he needed to go to my house, get my son before something happened to him and 96 him - his words to me were "We are not here to 96 your kid because you can't control him - maybe you need to institutionalize him or something!" Mind you my kid (yes he is 18 but has mentality of a early preteen if that) has NEVER been 96'd before. Again the PD never went to the house, nor did medical!
Hurried through ER, had a fracture, got a shot and neighbor rushed me home. G started in on how he hates me, hates life, wants to kill himself, yada yada. At this point knowing the PD would do nothing I called the City Managers Office to speak with him as I wanted to file a formal complaint against the Chief of Police - he listened to what I had to say, really other than to tell me he has extensive background in the legal/police field; he seemed as though he had better things to do. He did tell me if something else were to happen to contact him, rather than the PD. Well after I got off the phone with him, I let G know I was going to look for a bed at a phosp for him as he needed help, I was in processing of admitting him on phone when he yanked phone out of wall, threw it and ran into kitchen. I hurried and plugged it back in, turned to see him with a knife to his wrist and he attempted (did not break skin Thank God!) to slit his wrist; I called City Manager told him to get a cops/ambulance whatever to my house now and hung up. Boy they came lights and sirens blaring and finally 96'd him.
I feel all of the above could have been avoided, had they responded to my initial first phone call asking for the 96 per the psychs direction. Am I wrong? Am I missing something? Then to top it off while I was filling out the affidavit to have him 96'd I point blank told the Chief of Police what I thought of his shoddy police work, not responding, etc., and his response was "I had a bad weekend"....excuse me, than perhaps he should of called in sick if he was not going to be able to do his job. My problem is my child is not the only one in town with mental health issues, however, the PD wants to ostricize those that are different. I point blank asked the Chief if it was his child would he not be doing the same thing I am doing and his response was "I would have had it under control years ago." Hello, he was diagnosed at six years old and I have been very viligant in getting him services, help, etc., since his first diagnosis so how am I not helping him.
Sorry to vent and be so long, I just know my son is now safe in the phosp, first time he has ever been on the adult side of one and perhaps they can get to the bottom of it or correct the meds. On the other hand, I feel the PD needs extensive training on mental health issues, I feel that the Chief needs to be written up or something for failing to respond TWICE mind you and do not know where to go with this. I did send an email to my friend who works at the newspaper this morning to see if I could write about the incident but send it in annonymously as I don't want my son judged even further by his peers, well she forwarded it on to the editor and the SOB forwarded it on to the City Manager. So I had a nice (not really) call from him this AM asking just exactly what is it I think he should have done or do that he has not and how dare I contact the paper.
So frustrated...any ideas , anyone.
Thank you for letting me vent,
Mom of 1, 18 year old son with BP, ODD, AD/HD, Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Current meds include trileptal 1200mg bid and loxapine and haldol prn (only used twice in one month)