Can you elaborate on your question.... My dd has had both. Sometimes together, sometimes apart. So I can relate.
--
Karenj
Self: as sane as I can be everyday A - DD (17yo) well adjusted, high functioning, motivated, successful, waiting patiently to go away to college M - DD (13yo) Mood Disorder NOS (dx 4/2011) ADHD (dx 2nd grade), dumb high IQ, mainstream education with 504 only but failing miserably, Abilify 10mg and Equetro 100mg evenings, Concerta 36mg before school BF - Live in boyfriend of 5 years, supportive and learning more every day EX - Ex-husband, divorced since 2002, family history of bipolar, unpredictable and sometimes raging
My dd had many issues with school refusal in middle school. We ended up having to transfer her to a therapeutic day school. Turns out that was a good choice for us even though the academics were not stellar. But having that extra support was terrific!
I am in the process of working towards that. I have her IEP meeting later this week - the one where you get the results and see what they decide. I am hoping to keep her where she is for this coming year - with accomodations and support. And then move her to a high school that better suits her needs. I'm not sure yet if this means theraputic day school or school that teaches kids who don't learn in the traditional style. My plan is to take this next year to figure it out. I am hoping she can hold it together for the year.
--
Karenj
Self: as sane as I can be everyday A - DD (17yo) well adjusted, high functioning, motivated, successful, waiting patiently to go away to college M - DD (13yo) Mood Disorder NOS (dx 4/2011) ADHD (dx 2nd grade), dumb high IQ, mainstream education with 504 only but failing miserably, Abilify 10mg and Equetro 100mg evenings, Concerta 36mg before school BF - Live in boyfriend of 5 years, supportive and learning more every day EX - Ex-husband, divorced since 2002, family history of bipolar, unpredictable and sometimes raging
We had the school refusal problem for very much of 6th grade, many times brought on by one form of anxiety or another. She ended the year on a modified schedule, only being required to attend from noon to 3 pm for English and Art, bypassing all of the unstructured time when most of the problems occurred. I too have the "decision/answers" IEP later this month - it's looking like we will be going to therapeutic day school for 7th grade. If I still have problems getting her to go to school, I believe we will have the option for residential - so far the schools they've contacted have both day and residential programs. My hope is that she will do well enough to go back to her home school for 8th grade and will be able to form some positive relationships that will follow her to high school.
--
Shelle, 49 in So Cal - stressed - Celexa 20mg, Xanax 0.5mg rarely as needed Mom to Rachel, 12 - ADHD, BP, anxiety - Lamictal 150mg am+Seroquel 50mg am/200mg early pm, Modified schedule in public at end of last school year / Hoping for placement in therapeutic school for the fall We also have Birdie, the love bird - she bites; and Velvet, the kitten - she does too
Hi I'm Laura, My dd12 is SUPPOSED to be in 7th grade but she only made 3 out of 7 days. It's been a week and I don't think she's going back. She has terrible anxiety issues in the first place and my husband had cancer/treatments last spring and looks like death because, though he's cured, the radiation sores in his mouth keep him from eating so it's very stressful. also, my ex who she really liked is dying to the human equivalent of mad cow disease. It is a rapidly brain destroying disease. She also has aspergers and w/ everything going on she just rages and hides away. She has wonderful teachers and a wonderful school willing to accommodate anyway they can - no homework last year - but she has to get to school. The stress of not going is just increasing her stress. I home schooled until last year but put her in school because of her violence at home so.... where does that leave me now? We live over an hour from any kind of city so there are no special schools here, just great teachers that will wing her IEP and change it on the fly. I'm really at a loss as to what to do. I notified her social worker of her continued absence so I'm sure I'll hear from her tomorrow - don't know what answers she'll have. I think we probably just need to choose to home school since I can't force her to attend school and try to get something done this year including reducing her stress but... if you could feel the tension and see the holes in the walls you'd know how uncertain I feel. any ideas, similar experiences? thanks, Laura
--
Laura 55 PTSD BP FM depakote 1000, ambien 15 dd10 mdnos, gadnos, aspergers buspar 10 mg am/pm, luvox 25 mg am,tenex 1 mg am/pm , melatonin 9 mg, D3, omega 3, ds24 lithium, zyprexa, concerta, trazadone, melatonin, tegretol ds21 college at least some depression issues
I'm so sorry for all of your pain and drama. I don't have suggestions but I am in a similar situation. There have been 5 days of school so far. My dd made it to 1 for the full day. 3 she was at least 1 hour late. And 1 she refused to go to. I have called her Dr's and gotten no where. More frigteningly, she was in the same place with school refusal in February and March and it eventually led to her running away and 10 day hospitalization. I fear that she is on her way there again and no one is helping me. I scheduled a pdoc appointment for her today but she won't go. Homeschooling is not a real option for us becuase there is no one home to school her. And I don't believe she would do the work at this point anyway. I keep remining myself that it is my job to keep her safe and healthy. Everything else is a bonus. At this point I don't think she is healthy and if she keeps sliding I cannot keep her safe. So that is my main focus.
Be strong. You are not alone.
--
Karenj
Self: as sane as I can be everyday A - DD (17yo) well adjusted, high functioning, motivated, successful, waiting patiently to go away to college M - DD (13yo) Mood Disorder NOS (dx 4/2011) ADHD (dx 2nd grade), dumb high IQ, mainstream education with IEP/BIP, Seroquel 100mg twice daily - morning and bed time BF - Live in boyfriend of 5 years, supportive and learning more every day EX - Ex-husband, divorced since 2002, family history of bipolar, unpredictable and sometimes explosive
I am new to this forum. My 11 year old son is bipolar and has been in and out of treatment centers since he was 7. He has been put on as much as 1000 mg of seroquel a day. No that is not a typo....now he is on abilify, wellbutrin and tenex. His last stay at a treatment facility lasted for a year and just returned home the beginning of Aug 2011. Home has been going fairly well but school has been a disaster! He is in the special ed program and has an IEP but on his first day he kicked his teacher so hard that he ended up with 16 stitches. We have dropped him down to one hour a day 4 days a week in the homebound program but he can't make it but for a few minutes before he explodes. I don't know what to do anymore....sending him back to treatment would be just housing him and that is just wrong. I want him home but don't know how to help him anymore. Any suggestions with the school issues?
Do you have the option of a thereputic day school?
--
Karenj
Self: as sane as I can be everyday A - DD (17yo) well adjusted, high functioning, motivated, successful, waiting patiently to go away to college M - DD (13yo) Mood Disorder NOS (dx 4/2011) ADHD (dx 2nd grade), dumb high IQ, mainstream education with IEP/BIP, Seroquel 100mg twice daily - morning and bed time BF - Live in boyfriend of 5 years, supportive and learning more every day EX - Ex-husband, divorced since 2002, family history of bipolar, unpredictable and sometimes explosive
I am in Montana and there are not a lot of options here. As far as I know there are no therapeutic day schools in the town I am from. There are no treatment centers here and no group homes that he can go to because of his age. Treatment centers are all 100 miles or more from us. Big state with few choices. He sees a therapist once a week and has an appt to see a psychiatrist next week. That is my only hope at this moment is that appt...maybe the meds for anxiety worked in a treatment center (tenex) but are not now that he is home is a different atmosphere. Every agency I work with has a different view on his issues and of course each one believes they are the "right" one.... After 3 years I am finally beginning to realize the only answer is the one that is working at that moment...it's a life of "chutes and ladders". My fear at the moment is because he is not attending school can the courts step in and force him back to a treatment center? He wants to go to school but the anxiety is too much for him which causes severe and violent melt downs. His ability to process information is very slow...he can do it but takes a great deal of time and patience. Looking at the work they gave him to bring home....well all I can say is for his disability it's ridiculous. But if I tell them that they say I am not being strict enough! Typical misconception people have when dealing with a bipolar child....something you are or not doing is wrong! I am emotionally exhausted!
I am currently going to my school everyday,with my son, while we are waiting for the special needs program. Before I starting going with him, I was getting a phone call everyday at 9am with him having a panic attack. Although, I am going he is still having few meltdowns in class. It's so hard:(
Sure sorry for everyone else struggling so much at the beginning of the year. I have a friend of my dd's over today from church so hopefully she'll go there tomorrow (didn't do youth group last night but that's probably okay because they went til 11 - too late for her. As far as how much school work is expected, my dd's IEP says no homework is expected of her. They have to find a way to make it work w/o homework. Last year they did homework club M-TH, this year, if she ever gets to school, she has a study hall every day w/ an aide. It is against the law for them to not make modifications. I'm sorry your school is not supportive.
I'll be praying for all of us.
Laura WI
--
Laura 55 PTSD BP FM depakote 1000, ambien 15 dd12 mdnos, gadnos, aspergers buspar 10 mg am/pm, luvox 25 mg am,tenex 1 mg am/pm , melatonin 9 mg, D3, omega 3, ds24 lithium, zyprexa, concerta, trazadone, melatonin, tegretol ds21 college at least some depression issues
As of Tuesday 9/21/11 I have pulled my son out of the public school system. I went to homebound school with him on Monday and was appalled at the way it was set up for him. He was placed in a small room (after reg. school hrs) with a desk and myself and his teacher just sitting there watching his every move and behavior. I gave her a work sheet that she had given him from the previous week and asked her to explain it to me so I could help him....and she didn't understand it either! She was not even looking at the curriculum that she was giving him?!? She was condescending and impatient (kept looking at her watch and checking her phone) and was most definetly not compassionate or caring in the least. Said they have nothing but problems with the kids that come out of the rtc that my son was in and all we are doing is letting them behave however they want to. The school refused to return phone calls to the rtc and when his rtc teacher finally did get hold of someone they were rude and said awful things to her about the way they were schooling the children in treatment (collaborative problem solving: Ross Greene). So we are off on a new and wonderful adventure with the blessing and advice of the treatment center--homeschool! They feel I can do a much better job with him and have his best interests in mind where the school doesn't. I will educate him according to his needs and keep him emotionally healthy at the same time--which takes priority over the schooling issues. Just because they are "teachers" does not mean they know how to "teach" My son asked me yesterday to give him some division problems to work on....that says it in a nutshell for me. He wants to do well and will do well if allowed to do it in the way that works best for him not the school. My word of advice if you are struggling with the school---Don't let them "bully" you! They are not educated in bipolar disorder and should not pretend to be. You know your child better than they do and don't let them act as if they know what is best--they don't.
--
cathiR 51 single mom to 11 14 28 33 11 DS BP ADHD Abilify Wellbutrin Tenex
I know you have lots of days of challenges ahead but having homeschooled my children I can tell you that homeschooling a child that wants to be taught is far easier than what I am hearing about school systems.
My dd12 attempted her 1st half day today. We're just a small rural school but the principal says first thing, we'll do whatever it takes to get her back: half days, no phy ed, no homework, whatever it takes. I have an extremely supportive school and teaching staff and she loves them and wants to be with them. So we'll see what tomorrow brings but as to homeschooling there is enough free material on the internet plus books from your library to get him the education he needs. Good luck.
LauraWI
--
Laura 55 PTSD BP FM depakote 1000, ambien 15 dd12 mdnos, gadnos, aspergers buspar 15 mg am/pm, lamictal 75 am/pm,luvox 25 mg am,tenex 1 mg am/pm , melatonin 9 mg, D3, omega 3, ds25 lithium, zyprexa, concerta, trazadone, melatonin ds23 college at least some depression issues
Year four of my son failing the public school system. He now is in high school and it was said to me that they can do more for him now than jr. high. I am soooooo frustrated with the fact that everyone tells me "just get him to school no matter how you do it" Is it just me or are these kids more difficult with school? He was bullied in 7th grade, of course no one saw 4 kids jump him in the gym and then after school, it was downhill from there. He can't keep up with the homework however he gets good test scores. I have never posted anything like this but no one seems to understand and I feel like such a crappy parent!
I don't have the answer but I would say that I think the school is giving you really bad advice. It may be true that in the early stages of school related anxiety it's better to get the child to school- to avoid having them develop a maladaptive coping strategy of avoidance- but once a child is already experiencing full blown panic or severe anxiety associated with going to school, he/she clearly needs more help and a different approach rather than forcing him to go through this every day.
Do you have a good pdoc and therapist who can help come up with a plan?
--
Chris Stanley- DS 10, ADHD, ODD, mood disorder NOS currently taking Adderall XR, Abilify, Zoloft
You are not a crappy mom. I know because my dd does great on tests but can't keep up with the homework too. And I know I'm a good mom because my older (typical) daughter doesn't have these issues. Therefore you must be a good mom too.
You don't mention if your son has an IEP and what his issues with learning may be. But every child is entitled to a free and appropriate education and it seems your son is not getting one. There are a lot of things you can do to get the school to compensate. Please have a look in the education corner under resources on this site. We are all happy to answer any questions you may have.
It is very frustrating to know that your child can thrive with the right environment when your child is in a toxic environment. And yes, these kids really are more difficult in school. Its not just you and yours.
Breathe deep and read up. You can help him to be where he needs to be.
--
Karenj
Self: as sane as I can be everyday A - DD (17yo) well adjusted, high functioning, motivated, successful, waiting patiently to go away to college M - DD (13yo) Mood Disorder NOS (dx 4/2011) ADHD (dx 2nd grade), dumb high IQ, mainstream education with IEP/BIP, Seroquel 200mg twice daily - morning and bed time; Lamictal 50mg - morning (increasing slowly as needed) BF - Live in boyfriend of 5 years, supportive and learning more every day EX - Ex-husband, divorced since 2002, family history of bipolar, unpredictable and sometimes explosive
He is 15 years old and he does have an IEP. I do have a great behavioral pediatrician for him however I am kind of done with medicating him to where he is a zombie. I have an appt to update the IEP next week so I am hoping that will go well. The problem I have is I know exactly what his needs are..... He needs classes that have him interact, not just sit in a desk and do paperwork. He needs smaller classrooms. He needs to be able to be creative with his learning and use his mind, not just what the teachers tell him to do. Is there such a thing out there in the state of Michigan without financially killing me? I guess when a child has failed school for 4 years I can understand why I wouldn't want to go there either. It rips my heart out for individuals who feel they just don't fit in anywhere and I cry when my son says he just wants to be normal. (I do tell him there is no such thing) School just started after labor day and he has already missed 10 days. Don't schools get this?
It seems your son's IEP is not sufficient for his situation. If he cannot be educated properly in his local school, the district MUST provide him with an appropriate setting. The more you know abour your rights, the better they will respond to you when you ask for what he needs. It is a negiting process and takes time and effort. But you are not asking for anything he is not entitled to. Tell them what you think he needs and why. Show them that what they have been doing is not working. His behavioral pediatrician can also write a letter to further explain what will likely work for him. And you can take other people with you to the meeting - advocates and experts to help you explain his needs further.
Good luck.
--
Karenj
Self: as sane as I can be everyday A - DD (17yo) well adjusted, high functioning, motivated, successful, waiting patiently to go away to college M - DD (13yo) Mood Disorder NOS (dx 4/2011) ADHD (dx 2nd grade), dumb high IQ, mainstream education with IEP/BIP, Seroquel 200mg twice daily - morning and bed time; Lamictal 50mg - morning (increasing slowly as needed) BF - Live in boyfriend of 5 years, supportive and learning more every day EX - Ex-husband, divorced since 2002, family history of bipolar, unpredictable and sometimes explosive
We were asked by the local high-achievers' private school to either withdraw our first grade son or have him restrained while we leave, after weeks of intense refusal. He tells us that he was terribly bored and anxious in the class. He has had a history of separation anxiety. He was hysterical--pleading, begging, physically resisting. We chose not to have him restrained. I homeschooled him for several weeks, while we waited to hear back from his previous school. We decided not to wait any longer (they still don't know) and have enrolled him at a Montessori school. Not the rigid kind that others have mentioned. He starts Monday, slowly building up time, with his Dad or I in the class to start. Does anyone have experience with a sitation like, this, or have any suggestions as to how to make the transition back to school? He's very bright, a great kid in the classroom, just easily bored when not challenged, and very attached to his parents. Thank you!
when my son was young I had to take him home for lunch everyday, he needed that time away from school to veg and regroup.
But no that we are older it is worse. He is at an alternative highschool and will not stay a full day, he gets anxiety, panic atacks and generally has things piss him off that he walks out or manipulates us into picking him up. We have tried everything imaginable, for a while hypnosis seemed to work. ideas?
My son is 15 and has been having school refusal. I am a firm believer that there is something going on at the school. I too have just removed my son from public education and he is starting a new school that is private for kids like him. I don't know where you live but if you research there are public schools that work with children like your son. I am an occupational therapist also and understand that movement is necessary for our kids and they need to use all of their senses not just sit and color a piece of paper or practice their writing skills. Montessori does have more hands on experience from another OT that I worked with. I live in michigan and I know in the detroit area there are schools for adhd kiddos that really work for kids like yours. Also, could you try partial days? Could you volunteer in the schools so he knows you are at school with him? None of these options helped for me but just some ideas. My son stated he needs to be at the school in order to go; he needs to be around kids that think like him, and he is excited. He starts January 3rd. Financially I am going to have a tough time but I always say my child doesn't have a price tag on him. Let me know if I can help out any other way.
Can you elaborate on your question.... My dd has had both. Sometimes together, sometimes apart. So I can relate.
--
Karenj
Self: as sane as I can be everyday
A - DD (17yo) well adjusted, high functioning, motivated, successful, waiting patiently to go away to college
M - DD (13yo) Mood Disorder NOS (dx 4/2011) ADHD (dx 2nd grade), dumb high IQ, mainstream education with 504 only but failing miserably, Abilify 10mg and Equetro 100mg evenings, Concerta 36mg before school
BF - Live in boyfriend of 5 years, supportive and learning more every day
EX - Ex-husband, divorced since 2002, family history of bipolar, unpredictable and sometimes raging
My dd had many issues with school refusal in middle school. We ended up having to transfer her to a therapeutic day school. Turns out that was a good choice for us even though the academics were not stellar. But having that extra support was terrific!
Joan
--
Joan in IL
Co-Moderator of Dual Diagnosis/Substance Abuse group with Becky
Family Response Team Volunteer
Link to my bio: http://www.bpkids.org/user/29354
To support CABF, go to https://www.bpkids.org/donate
I am in the process of working towards that. I have her IEP meeting later this week - the one where you get the results and see what they decide. I am hoping to keep her where she is for this coming year - with accomodations and support. And then move her to a high school that better suits her needs. I'm not sure yet if this means theraputic day school or school that teaches kids who don't learn in the traditional style. My plan is to take this next year to figure it out. I am hoping she can hold it together for the year.
--
Karenj
Self: as sane as I can be everyday
A - DD (17yo) well adjusted, high functioning, motivated, successful, waiting patiently to go away to college
M - DD (13yo) Mood Disorder NOS (dx 4/2011) ADHD (dx 2nd grade), dumb high IQ, mainstream education with 504 only but failing miserably, Abilify 10mg and Equetro 100mg evenings, Concerta 36mg before school
BF - Live in boyfriend of 5 years, supportive and learning more every day
EX - Ex-husband, divorced since 2002, family history of bipolar, unpredictable and sometimes raging
We had the school refusal problem for very much of 6th grade, many times brought on by one form of anxiety or another. She ended the year on a modified schedule, only being required to attend from noon to 3 pm for English and Art, bypassing all of the unstructured time when most of the problems occurred. I too have the "decision/answers" IEP later this month - it's looking like we will be going to therapeutic day school for 7th grade. If I still have problems getting her to go to school, I believe we will have the option for residential - so far the schools they've contacted have both day and residential programs. My hope is that she will do well enough to go back to her home school for 8th grade and will be able to form some positive relationships that will follow her to high school.
--
Shelle, 49 in So Cal - stressed - Celexa 20mg, Xanax 0.5mg rarely as needed
Mom to Rachel, 12 - ADHD, BP, anxiety - Lamictal 150mg am+Seroquel 50mg am/200mg early pm, Modified schedule in public at end of last school year / Hoping for placement in therapeutic school for the fall
We also have Birdie, the love bird - she bites; and Velvet, the kitten - she does too
As someone who deals with panic attacks, I feel for those (kids) who actually do through this type of day to day turmoil. =(
--
Leela
Hi I'm Laura,
My dd12 is SUPPOSED to be in 7th grade but she only made 3 out of 7 days. It's been a week and I don't think she's going back. She has terrible anxiety issues in the first place and my husband had cancer/treatments last spring and looks like death because, though he's cured, the radiation sores in his mouth keep him from eating so it's very stressful. also, my ex who she really liked is dying to the human equivalent of mad cow disease. It is a rapidly brain destroying disease.
She also has aspergers and w/ everything going on she just rages and hides away. She has wonderful teachers and a wonderful school willing to accommodate anyway they can - no homework last year - but she has to get to school. The stress of not going is just increasing her stress.
I home schooled until last year but put her in school because of her violence at home so.... where does that leave me now? We live over an hour from any kind of city so there are no special schools here, just great teachers that will wing her IEP and change it on the fly.
I'm really at a loss as to what to do. I notified her social worker of her continued absence so I'm sure I'll hear from her tomorrow - don't know what answers she'll have. I think we probably just need to choose to home school since I can't force her to attend school and try to get something done this year including reducing her stress but... if you could feel the tension and see the holes in the walls you'd know how uncertain I feel.
any ideas, similar experiences?
thanks, Laura
--
Laura 55 PTSD BP FM depakote 1000, ambien 15
dd10 mdnos, gadnos, aspergers buspar 10 mg am/pm, luvox 25 mg am,tenex 1 mg am/pm , melatonin 9 mg, D3, omega 3,
ds24 lithium, zyprexa, concerta, trazadone, melatonin, tegretol
ds21 college at least some depression issues
I'm so sorry for all of your pain and drama. I don't have suggestions but I am in a similar situation. There have been 5 days of school so far. My dd made it to 1 for the full day. 3 she was at least 1 hour late. And 1 she refused to go to. I have called her Dr's and gotten no where. More frigteningly, she was in the same place with school refusal in February and March and it eventually led to her running away and 10 day hospitalization. I fear that she is on her way there again and no one is helping me. I scheduled a pdoc appointment for her today but she won't go. Homeschooling is not a real option for us becuase there is no one home to school her. And I don't believe she would do the work at this point anyway. I keep remining myself that it is my job to keep her safe and healthy. Everything else is a bonus. At this point I don't think she is healthy and if she keeps sliding I cannot keep her safe. So that is my main focus.
Be strong. You are not alone.
--
Karenj
Self: as sane as I can be everyday
A - DD (17yo) well adjusted, high functioning, motivated, successful, waiting patiently to go away to college
M - DD (13yo) Mood Disorder NOS (dx 4/2011) ADHD (dx 2nd grade), dumb high IQ, mainstream education with IEP/BIP, Seroquel 100mg twice daily - morning and bed time
BF - Live in boyfriend of 5 years, supportive and learning more every day
EX - Ex-husband, divorced since 2002, family history of bipolar, unpredictable and sometimes explosive
I am new to this forum. My 11 year old son is bipolar and has been in and out of treatment centers since he was 7. He has been put on as much as 1000 mg of seroquel a day. No that is not a typo....now he is on abilify, wellbutrin and tenex. His last stay at a treatment facility lasted for a year and just returned home the beginning of Aug 2011. Home has been going fairly well but school has been a disaster! He is in the special ed program and has an IEP but on his first day he kicked his teacher so hard that he ended up with 16 stitches. We have dropped him down to one hour a day 4 days a week in the homebound program but he can't make it but for a few minutes before he explodes. I don't know what to do anymore....sending him back to treatment would be just housing him and that is just wrong. I want him home but don't know how to help him anymore. Any suggestions with the school issues?
cathi
Do you have the option of a thereputic day school?
--
Karenj
Self: as sane as I can be everyday
A - DD (17yo) well adjusted, high functioning, motivated, successful, waiting patiently to go away to college
M - DD (13yo) Mood Disorder NOS (dx 4/2011) ADHD (dx 2nd grade), dumb high IQ, mainstream education with IEP/BIP, Seroquel 100mg twice daily - morning and bed time
BF - Live in boyfriend of 5 years, supportive and learning more every day
EX - Ex-husband, divorced since 2002, family history of bipolar, unpredictable and sometimes explosive
I am in Montana and there are not a lot of options here. As far as I know there are no therapeutic day schools in the town I am from. There are no treatment centers here and no group homes that he can go to because of his age. Treatment centers are all 100 miles or more from us. Big state with few choices. He sees a therapist once a week and has an appt to see a psychiatrist next week. That is my only hope at this moment is that appt...maybe the meds for anxiety worked in a treatment center (tenex) but are not now that he is home is a different atmosphere. Every agency I work with has a different view on his issues and of course each one believes they are the "right" one.... After 3 years I am finally beginning to realize the only answer is the one that is working at that moment...it's a life of "chutes and ladders". My fear at the moment is because he is not attending school can the courts step in and force him back to a treatment center? He wants to go to school but the anxiety is too much for him which causes severe and violent melt downs. His ability to process information is very slow...he can do it but takes a great deal of time and patience. Looking at the work they gave him to bring home....well all I can say is for his disability it's ridiculous. But if I tell them that they say I am not being strict enough! Typical misconception people have when dealing with a bipolar child....something you are or not doing is wrong! I am emotionally exhausted!
I am currently going to my school everyday,with my son, while we are waiting for the special needs program. Before I starting going with him, I was getting a phone call everyday at 9am with him having a panic attack. Although, I am going he is still having few meltdowns in class. It's so hard:(
Best of Luck:(
Sure sorry for everyone else struggling so much at the beginning of the year. I have a friend of my dd's over today from church so hopefully she'll go there tomorrow (didn't do youth group last night but that's probably okay because they went til 11 - too late for her. As far as how much school work is expected, my dd's IEP says no homework is expected of her. They have to find a way to make it work w/o homework. Last year they did homework club M-TH, this year, if she ever gets to school, she has a study hall every day w/ an aide. It is against the law for them to not make modifications. I'm sorry your school is not supportive.
I'll be praying for all of us.
Laura WI
--
Laura 55 PTSD BP FM depakote 1000, ambien 15
dd12 mdnos, gadnos, aspergers buspar 10 mg am/pm, luvox 25 mg am,tenex 1 mg am/pm , melatonin 9 mg, D3, omega 3,
ds24 lithium, zyprexa, concerta, trazadone, melatonin, tegretol
ds21 college at least some depression issues
As of Tuesday 9/21/11 I have pulled my son out of the public school system. I went to homebound school with him on Monday and was appalled at the way it was set up for him. He was placed in a small room (after reg. school hrs) with a desk and myself and his teacher just sitting there watching his every move and behavior. I gave her a work sheet that she had given him from the previous week and asked her to explain it to me so I could help him....and she didn't understand it either! She was not even looking at the curriculum that she was giving him?!? She was condescending and impatient (kept looking at her watch and checking her phone) and was most definetly not compassionate or caring in the least. Said they have nothing but problems with the kids that come out of the rtc that my son was in and all we are doing is letting them behave however they want to. The school refused to return phone calls to the rtc and when his rtc teacher finally did get hold of someone they were rude and said awful things to her about the way they were schooling the children in treatment (collaborative problem solving: Ross Greene). So we are off on a new and wonderful adventure with the blessing and advice of the treatment center--homeschool! They feel I can do a much better job with him and have his best interests in mind where the school doesn't. I will educate him according to his needs and keep him emotionally healthy at the same time--which takes priority over the schooling issues. Just because they are "teachers" does not mean they know how to "teach" My son asked me yesterday to give him some division problems to work on....that says it in a nutshell for me. He wants to do well and will do well if allowed to do it in the way that works best for him not the school. My word of advice if you are struggling with the school---Don't let them "bully" you! They are not educated in bipolar disorder and should not pretend to be. You know your child better than they do and don't let them act as if they know what is best--they don't.
--
cathiR 51 single mom to 11 14 28 33
11 DS BP ADHD Abilify Wellbutrin Tenex
CathiR,
I know you have lots of days of challenges ahead but having homeschooled my children I can tell you that homeschooling a child that wants to be taught is far easier than what I am hearing about school systems.
My dd12 attempted her 1st half day today. We're just a small rural school but the principal says first thing, we'll do whatever it takes to get her back: half days, no phy ed, no homework, whatever it takes. I have an extremely supportive school and teaching staff and she loves them and wants to be with them. So we'll see what tomorrow brings but as to homeschooling there is enough free material on the internet plus books from your library to get him the education he needs. Good luck.
LauraWI
--
Laura 55 PTSD BP FM depakote 1000, ambien 15
dd12 mdnos, gadnos, aspergers buspar 15 mg am/pm, lamictal 75 am/pm,luvox 25 mg am,tenex 1 mg am/pm , melatonin 9 mg, D3, omega 3,
ds25 lithium, zyprexa, concerta, trazadone, melatonin
ds23 college at least some depression issues
Year four of my son failing the public school system. He now is in high school and it was said to me that they can do more for him now than jr. high. I am soooooo frustrated with the fact that everyone tells me "just get him to school no matter how you do it" Is it just me or are these kids more difficult with school? He was bullied in 7th grade, of course no one saw 4 kids jump him in the gym and then after school, it was downhill from there. He can't keep up with the homework however he gets good test scores. I have never posted anything like this but no one seems to understand and I feel like such a crappy parent!
Lost in Michigan
I don't have the answer but I would say that I think the school is giving you really bad advice. It may be true that in the early stages of school related anxiety it's better to get the child to school- to avoid having them develop a maladaptive coping strategy of avoidance- but once a child is already experiencing full blown panic or severe anxiety associated with going to school, he/she clearly needs more help and a different approach rather than forcing him to go through this every day.
Do you have a good pdoc and therapist who can help come up with a plan?
--
Chris Stanley- DS 10, ADHD, ODD, mood disorder NOS
currently taking Adderall XR, Abilify, Zoloft
You are not a crappy mom. I know because my dd does great on tests but can't keep up with the homework too. And I know I'm a good mom because my older (typical) daughter doesn't have these issues. Therefore you must be a good mom too.
You don't mention if your son has an IEP and what his issues with learning may be. But every child is entitled to a free and appropriate education and it seems your son is not getting one. There are a lot of things you can do to get the school to compensate. Please have a look in the education corner under resources on this site. We are all happy to answer any questions you may have.
It is very frustrating to know that your child can thrive with the right environment when your child is in a toxic environment. And yes, these kids really are more difficult in school. Its not just you and yours.
Breathe deep and read up. You can help him to be where he needs to be.
--
Karenj
Self: as sane as I can be everyday
A - DD (17yo) well adjusted, high functioning, motivated, successful, waiting patiently to go away to college
M - DD (13yo) Mood Disorder NOS (dx 4/2011) ADHD (dx 2nd grade), dumb high IQ, mainstream education with IEP/BIP, Seroquel 200mg twice daily - morning and bed time; Lamictal 50mg - morning (increasing slowly as needed)
BF - Live in boyfriend of 5 years, supportive and learning more every day
EX - Ex-husband, divorced since 2002, family history of bipolar, unpredictable and sometimes explosive
He is 15 years old and he does have an IEP. I do have a great behavioral pediatrician for him however I am kind of done with medicating him to where he is a zombie. I have an appt to update the IEP next week so I am hoping that will go well. The problem I have is I know exactly what his needs are..... He needs classes that have him interact, not just sit in a desk and do paperwork. He needs smaller classrooms. He needs to be able to be creative with his learning and use his mind, not just what the teachers tell him to do. Is there such a thing out there in the state of Michigan without financially killing me? I guess when a child has failed school for 4 years I can understand why I wouldn't want to go there either. It rips my heart out for individuals who feel they just don't fit in anywhere and I cry when my son says he just wants to be normal. (I do tell him there is no such thing) School just started after labor day and he has already missed 10 days. Don't schools get this?
Lost
Please see if either of these sources can help you.
http://www.milhs.org/kids-count/108-2
http://www.mpas.org/WhoWeAre.asp?btnWhoWeAre.x=43&btnWhoWeAre.y=11
It seems your son's IEP is not sufficient for his situation. If he cannot be educated properly in his local school, the district MUST provide him with an appropriate setting. The more you know abour your rights, the better they will respond to you when you ask for what he needs. It is a negiting process and takes time and effort. But you are not asking for anything he is not entitled to. Tell them what you think he needs and why. Show them that what they have been doing is not working. His behavioral pediatrician can also write a letter to further explain what will likely work for him. And you can take other people with you to the meeting - advocates and experts to help you explain his needs further.
Good luck.
--
Karenj
Self: as sane as I can be everyday
A - DD (17yo) well adjusted, high functioning, motivated, successful, waiting patiently to go away to college
M - DD (13yo) Mood Disorder NOS (dx 4/2011) ADHD (dx 2nd grade), dumb high IQ, mainstream education with IEP/BIP, Seroquel 200mg twice daily - morning and bed time; Lamictal 50mg - morning (increasing slowly as needed)
BF - Live in boyfriend of 5 years, supportive and learning more every day
EX - Ex-husband, divorced since 2002, family history of bipolar, unpredictable and sometimes explosive
We were asked by the local high-achievers' private school to either withdraw our first grade son or have him restrained while we leave, after weeks of intense refusal. He tells us that he was terribly bored and anxious in the class. He has had a history of separation anxiety. He was hysterical--pleading, begging, physically resisting. We chose not to have him restrained. I homeschooled him for several weeks, while we waited to hear back from his previous school. We decided not to wait any longer (they still don't know) and have enrolled him at a Montessori school. Not the rigid kind that others have mentioned. He starts Monday, slowly building up time, with his Dad or I in the class to start. Does anyone have experience with a sitation like, this, or have any suggestions as to how to make the transition back to school? He's very bright, a great kid in the classroom, just easily bored when not challenged, and very attached to his parents. Thank you!
Julieb, I hope things are better for your son.
when my son was young I had to take him home for lunch everyday, he needed that time away from school to veg and regroup.
But no that we are older it is worse. He is at an alternative highschool and will not stay a full day, he gets anxiety, panic atacks and generally has things piss him off that he walks out or manipulates us into picking him up. We have tried everything imaginable, for a while hypnosis seemed to work. ideas?
My son is 15 and has been having school refusal. I am a firm believer that there is something going on at the school. I too have just removed my son from public education and he is starting a new school that is private for kids like him. I don't know where you live but if you research there are public schools that work with children like your son. I am an occupational therapist also and understand that movement is necessary for our kids and they need to use all of their senses not just sit and color a piece of paper or practice their writing skills. Montessori does have more hands on experience from another OT that I worked with. I live in michigan and I know in the detroit area there are schools for adhd kiddos that really work for kids like yours. Also, could you try partial days? Could you volunteer in the schools so he knows you are at school with him? None of these options helped for me but just some ideas. My son stated he needs to be at the school in order to go; he needs to be around kids that think like him, and he is excited. He starts January 3rd. Financially I am going to have a tough time but I always say my child doesn't have a price tag on him. Let me know if I can help out any other way.
Sharon