I am so heartsick over my son I don't even know how to describe it. He is now 18 and totally denies the bipolar dx. He had a a few "professionals" tell him that he could not be BP because he has substance abuse issues, a bipolar dad, a wimpy mom (me!), conduct diorder, antisocial personality disorder (!), etc. etc. He used to take meds and was starting to stabilize. He can be very sweet and fun and intelligent when he's doing well. His original dx was ADHD which fits also, but stimulants were hard on him. I have found that even now he has a hard time focusing on certain things, and now he is a dropout forced out by his high school and trying to get a GED. He is almost done but can't get to class because he has no car or license or even friends who will drive him. He lives with a disabled friend at the present. Before that he was with me for a couple of months and I drove him to class. He has to take some tests and we went the other day and he flipped out on me because he was told he couldn't take the test; he needed to bring his SS card and some signed form he didnt know where to get from the teacher. GEDs aren't simply a matter of taking one test, apparently! So now her has to figure out a new day to go and start the process again and i can't take him next week due to my job...

Everyone assures me that if he wanted this bad enough he would make it happen, and that i can't do it for him. I KNOW...but he nEEDs some help or he just shuts down and this is too important for me to just let him give up on himself! He feels so hopeless at times like this and it wasn't too long ago he told me he would like to just die of a massive drug overdose. I am so weary of the lack of mental health care here that I did not even try to get a commitment or anything because he would just tell them he didn't mean it and they'd say he wasn't BP or something because he seems intelligent and calm ...that's what typically happens when he's trying to convince someone he's "fine." But I think he is truly struggling and I dont' know how to help him.

He also has a very hard time with math and tells me he will give up on the GED altogether if he fails the math portion, even though he's awesome at reading and all that. He does not come across as dumb at all once you get to know him, but you know how the world looks at dropout teens.

--

Elizabeth

separated from BP dh

mom to Charlie, 18yods, living with dh, BP, substance abuser, high school droupout forced out by the school, BUT a reader, thinker, and lover of music, pianist...working on GED

dd 16, lovely, mature young lady, dancer, no dxes

ds 12, sweet, outdoors lover, car enthusiast, Mr. Fix it, no dxes, possible ADHD

dd 7, Miss Merry Sunshine, drama queen, dancer and gymnast, very mood swingy