I am no lawyer, but I think not.  When he is at school, the school is responsible for him.  So the little girls parent would sue the school for not providing a safe environment for their daughter.  However, when lawyers sue, they generally name every possible person that they might be able to get money from.  So they would probably name you, the school, the teacher in the classroom at the time, the aids in the room, the person in charge of the program, etc, etc.

 Hey Kathy,

When Mr. 18 was 6 he was walking home with our next door neighbors son.  The kid is VERY ODD and thinks he's street smart.    Two houses away from us was a newly poured concrete driveway.  The kid next door decided it would be great to throw rocks into it.  David obviously followed in his foot steps.  These two brillant boys then decided to initalize their art with a big intial "D!"  Fast forward to the next morning as I am coming home from dropping him off at school I'm stopped by several concrete guys, who ask me if my kid was the one who was with the kid that lives in that house yesterday?  Yep, that's me...what's up?  I am in absolute shock as I sit and listen and look at the damage that has been done!  And finally they show me their signature as they are pretty sure he's the one most responsible.  I look at the letter and it's the letter "D".  I kinda laugh and tell the guys "well, D could be for Dakota, or it could be for David!"  So now this guy tells me, that the driveway is so badly damaged that it has to be riped out and re-poured to the tune of about $5200.  I then call my hubby to come home so he can make sure that it's as badly damaged as they say.  It was.  We were horrified that David had done this and he was no allowed to be friends with our next door neighbor.  Our home owners insurance covered our portion of the bill.  The builder ended up having to take my neighbor to court and my neighbor lost. 

I know this isn't the same as your situation, but your situation did quickly remind me of the above. 

In today's day and age, people will take every opportunity they can to sue someone.   I hope you don't find yourself getting sued.  I know this sounds crazy, but check your home owner's policy, there maybe coverage in there that you didn't know.  I know we were pleasantly surprised.  You'll also need to prepare yourself that CPS will likely investigate.  Do you have any idea as to what the girls parents mindset is?

You are going to have to call another emergency IEP meeting.  What you are facing is OUTRAGEOUS!  If this is taking place in such a low ratio of people, then this only further illustrates his need for an immediate 1:1 and many other things!

You don't need to worry about this too, enough all ready...I know!  Hang in there!  If something does happen you'll get through it too. 

My thoughts are with you, hugs!

P.S.  Dakota is the one who did most of the damage.  David just finished off the "D" for him!

--

Jackie aka mom2one
Forums moderator, FRT
Mom to Mr. 18 (dx'd at age 4), Schizoaffective, bipolar subtype, Anxiety Disorder, PDD, Cognitive Disorder
Meds: Seroquel 1000 mg., Fanapt 24 mg., Lamictal 600 mg., Lithium 1250 mg., DDAVP, and Synthroid .150 mcg
Fish Oil and Vitamin D
IEP, Therapeutic School
Married to my best friend and rock for 21 years!

If CABF has helped you, please consider a donation! https://www.bpkids.org/donate?campaign=forums2010

Jackie - thank goodness for homeowners'!  I can't imagine the shock you had with that one.  Hopefully you can laugh about it now.

I have not even been posting what all this school is doing.... still.  We do have an advocate and he is the one who told us we could get sued.  I was shocked.  I can see the school getting it but then the parents could then file a civil suit against us.  The child's parents are not worried - she is like ds :)   That advocate went to the last IEP mtg but he is too nice.  I know that sounds ugly but nice just does not help here.

I talked with another today who is more aggressive but in a professional way.  I may use her instead.   Just received the completed IEP today from the meeting two weeks ago.  I am soooo done... The advocate I talked with today told me she "would" get him an aide.  We shall see.  At least she put the fire under me again - one more time :)

Yay - the law is in effect!  It is illegal for schools to confine or restrain a child except under extraordinary circumstances.  Any restraint or confinement must be logged and paperworked to death.  I need to find out if this law was in effect when they were holding ds.... hmmm! 

Oh, the school found a time-out room just for ds.  It is stinky and looks like it may have been a laundry room.  There is a beanbag chair for him and a teacher/aide is supposed to sit at the doorway.  They are putting him there when he won't do his work!  I could type all night and not be able to repeat all that has taken place.

Thanks to you both!

Kathy

“The school’s #1 priority is educating my son. MY #1 priority is keeping him alive. My #1 priority is more important than theirs.”

I am confused.  You dont want your child restrained if he is at risk of causing harm to himself or someone else?  Isnt that the best solution in that situation?

mgdad - Yes, I would want him restrained IF anyone at the school was certified.  He was being restrained multiple times a day, okay I get that.  The problem comes from him coming home with bruises up and down his spine.  I did not know it at the time but it is illegal to 'hold' a child unless the person is certified And the incident is documented well, then sent home to the parents.  None of these things were being done.  I had to take him to the doctor to make sure these were superficial wounds.  The pediatrician then wrote a note the school could no longer 'hold' him.

It is also illegal to put a child in seclusion.  At the time the school did not have a safe, time-out room.  They do now and I have no problem with that.  I do not want him hurting himself or anyone else, especially a child.  Now, someone has to sit at the opened door while he is in the time-out room.

I hope this answers questions and lets everyone know about this very recent law.

Kathy

C 6, DX: Bipolar-Mixed & Mood Disorder-nos
Current Meds: Lamictal 100 mg, Haldol 2.5 mg, Thorazine 75 mg, Trazedone 50 mg, Cogentin 2 mg

“The school’s #1 priority is educating my son. MY #1 priority is keeping him alive. My #1 priority is more important than theirs.”

Ok Thanks.

 This is my first posting here as my youngest was just recently diagnosed. He's 7 and will be spending next week at home with me because he was suspended from his behavior class for strangling another child and threatening to 'kill everyone.'  For a kiddo with school avoidance and anxiety I think this is the WORST idea but don't have any recourse at this time. We, too, have an advocate but I'm not sure if we are doing all we can... My son gets restrained at least once a day and there is a room set aside for behaviors (a bare, cinderblock room) I am at my wit's end and not sure what to do. I can't keep missing work and I feel the school district is taking the easy way out - I know he's a handful!!  Can a child be expelled from a behavior class? He's on an IEP for his previous dx - PDD-NOS and receives behavioral and emotional support... I wanted to tell you I LOVE your quote at the end - the school's priorities are so out of whack it's ridiculous!

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Andrea
Speech-Language Pathologist

wow it is till amazing to me that we are not the only family in the world dealing with these issues, im still new to this group and i spend all my free time reading everyones post and sitting in awe!! my daughter is ten and has been moved to another campus in our district and placed in an abu program they have an extended time out room, it is a very small room with bare floor and walls and a door with a window she has been in there many times for being aggressive towards teachers destroying the classroom to harming herself her teachers are certified to restrain her and place her into the room. everytime she is in there they have to call an administrator an her teacher usually calls the campus special education counsler, i have no gripes about the need for them to place her in there my concern is that before putting her into the program the need to restrain her at school was few and far between and know its at least 3 or 4 times a week if not more its as if she has given up , granted her meds are not at a stable level but my concern is how much more will the public school take before a teacher files on her or an aide or another students parents i am looking into homeschool right now but with her already lacking social skills i dont think it would be the best for her

Coris, don't worry about her social skills yet.
The first and most important is that your daughter is healthy and safe. Even if you wrote in May 2011, I doubt that your daughter is safe in this school, let alone healthy !

Once she is homeschooled, she can learn social skills. She can do it in social skills group, she can do it at dance, horse riding etc etc...
But she has to learn them in a positive ambience. Not in such a toxic one.
If school is not for her, then school is not for her. Period.
Her social skills shall never ever go before her health and safety. Because she won't be able to learn any social skill at all if she is unhealthy and unsafe.

If you consider homeschool, then she may (or may not) come back to school. This is something you can think about later. It's not the n°1 priority at the moment.
The first and foremost priority is her health and safety. The rest will follow when health and safety are satisfied.
If she needs homeschool to learn better, so what ? It will be better than letting her going in such a toxic environment. What does she learn there, in a toxic environment ? Social skills ? Academic skills ? I highly doubt.

If during a moment, she needs homeschool, it's really not the end of the world.
You can think about school avoidance later, when she is healthy, safe, with some other successes (if she succeeds in horse riding, dance or so, social skills can be taught more easily).
Your daughter needs a more positive setting to learn. If school is not able to provide it, school is not able to provide it and it goes nowhere to force your daughter to learn in a toxic setting, whatever the reason.

--

25 yo, ADHD, sensory issues, Maths LD and prelingual Single Sided Deafness.

Preparing myself to go back to university to study Law (hope to become a lawyer).

Interests : languages (I speak French as mother tongue, Italian, English and Modern Greek), medicine, law, computer.