We tell our daughter everything---to the point where she is probably sick of hearing it.   When she starts not wanting to take meds and supplements or following the diet, we remind over and over again that taking care of herself is her responsibility.   We remind her of how far she has came, how she hasn't missed a single day of school this year other than for Dr. appointments, and how she has new friends.  We also remind her of the alternatives, the ambulance ride, the phospital  and how she could not finish school last year.  At some point, we walk away and let her make her own decision, which is always to take the meds.  To eat, to take meds/supplements, to be in clean neat clothes, and to do her hair is also a requirement before we will take her up to the school bus (or for us to do anything at all that she wants of us). 

For unpleasant things like doctors or especially blood draws, we set up the stage.  We plan a visit to Grandma's house, a shopping trip, or a treat in the park afterwards.  If the blood draw doesn't happen, then we don't go to the park.   Once, she refused a blood draw.  We had our special meals with us.  So instead of a meal at the park with swings and all I found the boringest chunk of concrete with traffic all around to eat.  Before we could get out of the car, she asked for the blood draw, so afterwards we went back and then to her favorite park.    Maybe a little shallow, but it worked.

As far as not facing up to it, I don't have any good suggestions.  We do have some friends with an autistic daughter the same age as our daughter.  They also have it more or less under control with diet and supplements, and they really really like playing together.  It is like it is a relief to have another family that they can be completely open and free with.

We can control our actions, but not our daughters (although we sometimes we try and usually fail).  We try not to do things for her unless she takes care of her responsibilities.

Best of luck.

Brian

--

Daughter 7 BP/violent rages. Unsuccessful with multiple meds. Now reasonably stable (with a few regressions) on Risperidone + Intuniv + Restrictive diet + EMPowerPlus + AminoPowerplus + NAC + Q10 + low dose lithium + melatonin + inositol
Son (5) Normal
Wife (CathyK now also on TBMF) BP, & trying to wean off the meds.

Interesting conversation because recently my 21 year old son, who is doing very well and has been stable for a long time now, said that he thought that we should of taught him more manners.  He said sometimes his peers at college tease him about his manners and he thinks we should of been strictor with him.  When he said this, my daughter (23), my husband and I were all standing in the kitchen.  At first nobody said anything and there was silence.  Then my daughter said, "Well it wasn't exactly like we could correct you when you were younger.  Doing so often led to you getting very angry."  Our son did say anything in response, but clearly he was processing what she said.  My husband then pointed out that these days he is working on his manners and we see concrete progress in that area.  

We can't force our children to see their disabilities or even acknowledge them.   And in some ways it is good that your son wants to be "normal" and does not want to see himself as ill.    That will eventually provide motivation for him to work on his issues and to get well.  He might have to have some painful experiences and even hit rock bottom at some point before he takes ownership of his illness.  But also keep in mind that one can "own" having BP without having it define you.  Our son has pointed out that his biology is different and he can not drink like some of his peers, but then again lots of people have different biologies that limit them or what they can and can not eat or do.  Our son knows that he is dyslexic and struggles with phonetic awareness, but he did not let that stop him (despite our encouragement) from taking Russian and fulfilling his language requirement.  Turns out our son is fascinated by the structure of language and the different alphabet, something he never would of been learned about had he let his dyslexia define him.  And yes, he will never speak Russian fluently.  But with sweat and determination he managed to get an excellent grade in the class.  

--

Jistac
Mother of 3 (23,20,17) with a variety of mental health issues. Been involved with using Empower as a treatment since 2003

I am so impressed to hear how well he is doing. I worry that when my son gets to high school or college he will try to drink and do things his body cannot tolerate. I want him to know his limitations, but he only gets angry when faced with them. I guess maturity will tell.

Thank you

Willow, 40 

Son, age 10 BP on Empower, Omega Brite, Probiotics, D3, 

Willow,

Sometimes our kids have to learn from experience.  My son experimented with smoking weed at one point.   It landed him in the hospital.  It was a terrifying experience for him.  He spent time in a locked unit.  That period in our lives was not fun.  But I am glad it happened.  Our son saw that he had choice and he could either ignore what his parents were telling him about substances and his biology and empower or he could accept it.  It has taken him a long time to become comfortable with who he is.  For a long time after that incident he was socially phobic and afraid to hang out with any one who drank or smoked or partied.  But time and maturity are great healers and in time he has learned that he can have fun and be around people who partake if he likes those people and they are true friends.  

I know that when my kids were the age your son is, I wanted to protect them from all pain and suffering.  But the truth is that struggles and failure are great teaching tools and can provide great opportunities for growth as the child matures into a young adult.

--

Jistac
Mother of 3 (23,20,17) with a variety of mental health issues. Been involved with using Empower as a treatment since 2003

My older daughter resisted meds because she "wanted to be normal and normal people don't take pills."

My younger daughter had a different reaction - one of bring on the meds because, she "wanted to be normal and the pill was to make her normal."

I chalked it up to a difference in personality and thinking, as well as strengths in different social and analytical areas.

Yet when they got more ill, my older daughter flaunted her bipolar disorder and the younger one was very private about her diagnosis of schizoaffective (although she had been open about the "Depression"). The flaunting of the diagnosis done by the older dd turned out to be a symptom of "the illness" itself.

I have found that some kids with diabetes do not wish to acknowledge it, either and resist every step of the way.

Perhaps it is best to not stress the label ("bipolar") but just the fact that in order to be well, and "normal", this is what is needed... Stress health, and their own particular needs. The kids who can eat pizza and cookies and not get fat now may be the ones diabetic, obese, or with cancer in the years to come. We are all different with different needs.

My younger daughter at 10 knew what every pill and supplement in her pill box was for, and was so cute telling her best friend about each one.

--Jeanie aka "Naomi"
It's Not Mental
Older dd: formerly(?) teen-onset bipolar (morphed into ultradian cycling): "Recovered" after over 13 years - stable off psych meds almost two years. Now fine on just diet changes and higher thyroid levels (after healing - addressing gut issues/Candidal overgrowth while using EMPowerPlus and other supplements). She added a little EMpowerPlus back on as a multivitamin simply because she feels better on it - gets sick less often.
Younger dd: formerly(?) Childhood-onset schizoaffective, TS, OCD, anxiety, PTSD, migraines. After over 15 years, is now "recovered" for almost 5 years after treating endocrine issues, food sensitivities, gut issues, sleep issues, nutritional/mitochondrial needs.

I thank you all for sharing.  I want to share with you what happend last night. 

My son called me at work yelling and screaming about his school and other things not of great concern. He was going throug a manic episode. When this happens my phone can ring 30 times in the span of an hour. I was holding my breath as I walked in the door. I did not know what the evening would bring. What I did know is that he had been lying about taking his empowers during lunch time at school. So his dosage was less than it should have been (10 instead of 15). 

Well after he calmed down. He said Mom I don't feel so well. I explained to him that he needed to take his empowers in the morning and not at school. He need to kick start his day with breakfast and empower. I was pleasenly surprised that I received no resistance and he was in compliance. Although, we have not used the word Bipolar in the house. I know he is aware that something is wrong. We are just not labeling it. 

Willow - 40

Hudson 10 BP, Empower, Aminoes, OmegaBrite, Probiotics and starting a modified diet