Self-Care without Self-Indulgence
Posted by saracup on December 26, 2010 at 4:33pm
I am the mother of an 8-year old with a bipolar diagnosis. How do I keep his disorder from running my emotional life? I am in pretty much perpetual "fight or flight" and don't know how to learn how to live with him without making myself emotionally exhausted. I turn to food and shopping -- I don't drink or smoke (maybe I should!). But, self-indulgence is a poor substitute for self-care. Ultimately, it's just self-destructive.
Does anyone have a low-cost way of coping with things (i can't afford therapy, massages, or other things). I have little time between work and mothering, and not much money as my husband is a full-time student. My stress level is through the roof.
Any ideas?
If you are in perpetual fight or flight mode, it might be a good idea to find a pdoc for yourself. You may need medication to get you started on the path to wellness. Many parents develop PTSD as a result of their children's raging and unpredictable behavior. It almost always requires treatment of some kind. Depression is also extremely common among caregivers for any chronically ill children.
Do you drive by yourself everyday? I have found that being alone in the car is good "down time" for me. I can listen to soothing music or books on tape or whatever I want that helps calm me down. Crafts can also be soothing if you have time to work on them. Exercise is a great outlet for stress--just taking a walk helps you in so many ways.
It's good you recognize the need to care for yourself. That is the first important step!
--
Brenda,50, CABF Parent to Parent Volunteer
Mom to A, 16, BP, Tourette's, OCD, ADHD: Eskalith CR, Trilafon, Lamictal, Seroquel, Cytomel
E, 14, BP,AS, hypothyroidism: Seroquel, Eskalith CR, levothyroxin, inositol
B, 13 & H, 10
Married 17 years to DH, 49
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Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness. I am on antidepressants as well (this pre-dated my son's birth). However, things are so overwhelming these days that I need more, and can't afford therapy right now. I do drive to work twice a week, and have just subscribed to an audio book service. That may definitely help. I do have eating problems in the car (it's a binge place for me), and I have to start working on that.
Thanks for being there.
-Cathy