While our children are young we sometimes think of this illness as our challenge but as they age, it truly is their illness. Help them manage it to the best of their ability. 

The funny thing about kids is they don’t stay young forever. They do grow up! From the moment my son was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I had a sense of urgency. My thought process was something along the lines of: “I only have ten more years to teach him how to manage this on his own.” What’s ten years really? Now that my son is 18, we are proof that it flies by.

Kids with bipolar disorder may not be ready to manage all aspects of their illness just because the calendar says they are an adult, but the goal is to help them understand and manage it the best they can as they reach these critical transition years. While this will be different according to the abilities and progress of each child, starting early gives a distinct advantage. Here are some of the things we found beneficial:

1. Switching to a physician who sees adults

   Early on, my son saw a child psychiatrist which was great because he was skilled at treating children. However, this is not a doctor who could ‘transition’ with us. I didn’t want my son to have to start all over with a new physician once he hit adulthood. For us that meant changing doctors when he was a young teenager. We switched to one who doesn’t treat children but does treat both teens and adults. That means he now has a comfortable relationship with a doctor who can easily continue his care and knows the family well.

2. Teaching self reporting skills

   This begins by simply helping kids identify and label emotions then moves to charting moods which increases awareness. Another vital training piece for us was having practice sessions prior to his doctor appointments. This helped my son think about what he wanted to communicate to the doctor. It also helped him review how he was doing and to articulate his concerns to his doctor. Additionally, it allowed us to ‘compare’ perspectives when our ideas differed. Even though he goes to his doctor visits independently now, we still review ahead of time to make sure everyone is on the same page. And if need be, I can still come on a visit or call his doctor.

3. Teaching the team approach

   It takes a village…to manage this illness. That may seem like a contradiction to helping kids learn to manage their own illness but it’s really not. It means that they have to learn to allow others to help and to surround themselves with support people they trust. The basics of this are laid in the foundation of a team approach. For us, this has meant spending years building trust. I listen to how he feels, he values my input, we have trusting relationships with doctors and he has relatives and friends that he can confide in. While every family has to find their own way in developing this type of network, it takes deliberate effort to take this approach.

4. Mastering medications

   For years we have worked on ways to help my son remember to take his medications. This one was challenging for him but critical. One missed dose can send him into a tailspin. We have emphasized the fact that without being able to master this life skill, it would curtail his independence. For my son, the use of a weekly medication dispenser is vital. While it took some time, he now remembers every dose, every day and has now moved on to filling his own medication dispenser for the week.

5. Entering the working world

   Working gives a sense of pride and focus not to mention a little money in the pocket. We took advantage of vocational training provided by the school to teach important vocational skills including both a trade and interview practice. While the trade didn’t prove to be the right fit for my son, the skills he learned will always stay with him. We are proud that he recently found a small job that will begin giving him work experience.

 While these are just a few examples of ways that we have raised our son to manage his illness, they reflect a broader mind set to begin young. While our children are young we sometimes think of this illness as our challenge but as they age, it truly is their illness. Help them manage it to the best of their ability.