"As with a bipolar rage, there is a point of no return with anxiety.
Our children need skills they can use before it’s too late."

Many kids with bipolar disorder also struggle with anxiety. Often, so do their brothers and sisters, even if they don’t have bipolar disorder. Scientists say there is a genetic component, and I’m sure that’s true. But growing up with an explosive, unpredictable sibling sounds like a recipe for anxiety to me.

In my house, anxiety has sometimes been disabling, especially before an emotional event like the start of a new school year, or when a test looms or a research paper is due.  Like any other emotion, it can be contagious.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could protect our kids from anxiety before panic sets in? A recent University of Chicago study offers a promising tool that could be helpful in many situations. Researchers asked students to write about their fears 10 minutes before taking a high-stakes exam. Students who wrote out their worries scored much better than peers who sat quietly before the test.

Writing about fears reduced rumination, researchers believe. Without a doomsday tape playing in their heads, the students were less distracted and better able to summon the intellectual energy and focus they needed to perform.

The key could be as simple as awareness. When someone accepts anxiety instead of fighting it, they may be better able to move past it. They don’t have to worry about worry because, well, there it is! Faced head-on, it anxiety may lose the power to paralyze.

It is exceptionally painful to struggle with anxiety, and heartbreaking for parents to watch, helplessly, as a child succumbs. As with a bipolar rage, there is a point of no return with anxiety. Our children need skills they can use before it’s too late.

A therapist once advised my daughter to acknowledge her anxious feelings, accept that anxiety may be a part of her, and then to distract herself with a task. This approach took practice, but it helped to lower her apprehension and restore her sense of control. It was a positive tool, and one that she could summon on her own and feel good about.

Awareness is free and portable. Whether practiced by writing about feelings or simply acknowledging them, it’s worth a try.