When I was young – too many years ago – my dad was a coal miner. There are many dangers inherent to working underneath 1000 feet of dirt. One of those dangers is trapped gas that is very difficult to detect and can be deadly. In the old days, coal miners used to bring canaries underground with them. Canaries are quite sensitive to their surroundings. They served as an early warning sign that dangerous gas was present. If the canary died, then the miners had to get out – fast! The miners had to keep an eye on the bird. They also had to listen. If the canary stopped singing it was a sign that something was wrong. If the miners ignored these signs their lives could be in danger.

This may explain why I sometimes look at my husband and say, “The canary has died!” even though I have never owned a bird. Raising kids with bipolar disorder keeps you on high alert. Even when things are going well, you are always checking the canary. We actually have many ‘canaries’ or early warning signs that instability is creeping back in like insidious gas that can be deadly. In our family, the biggest and most obvious canary is my son’s ability (or lack thereof) to maintain positive interaction with his stepfather. When he is doing well he can joke and interact, accept direction and so forth. When he is not doing well then jokes are taken offensively, interaction all but ceases and the simplest of requests turns into an argument. Not fun for my husband who would prefer not to be the canary!

Early warning signs are important to catching instability before it becomes full blown. Recognizing these signs in our own family has meant making adjustments in lifestyle and meds so that we avoid bigger problems. Our job as parents of kids with bipolar disorder is exceedingly difficult and full of dangers. Sometimes we feel like those miners after a hard day of work. We are happy to have survived another day and dread going back down the shaft. But at the end of the day we have more than a pile of black gold. We have a child who needs us to see the diamond inside.